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(Sun News Network)   Five-dollar footlong? Wrong. Five-dollar lies   ( divider line
    More: Interesting  
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26303 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Jan 2013 at 8:06 PM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-01-17 06:23:04 PM  
13 votes:
Every subway sandwich tastes identical regardless of what you have them put on it
2013-01-17 06:07:32 PM  
6 votes:
Looks like some of the franchisees don't proof the bread long enough.

These nincompoops complaining don't realize that they're not going to get any more actual bread.
2013-01-17 08:40:40 PM  
5 votes:
The pans they use to bake the bread are all the same size. If you go late in the day, the bread is drier than when it's fresh. There is shrinkage.

/Americans are farking shrewish, peevish, entitled shiatheads.
2013-01-17 08:39:15 PM  
5 votes:
Jesus, for farking real? Just shut up and eat your damn sammich.
2013-01-17 08:25:49 PM  
5 votes:
If I were Subway I would argue that the term "Footlong" is a marketing term for a sandwich of approximately one foot in length and is not a guarantee that the sandwich will be precisely one foot long.

Also, anyone expecting fresh bread prepared by unskilled and minimally trained workers earning minimum wage to be universally uniform is sort of an idiot.
2013-01-17 08:22:26 PM  
5 votes:
Food should never be measured in feet. This is why we're all so fat.
2013-01-17 06:13:44 PM  
5 votes:
measure diagonally
2013-01-17 09:04:36 PM  
4 votes:
The day I vocally complain about the size of my Subway sandwich and call for a class-action lawsuit is the day I sincerely hope one of you pushes me onto the street and into the path of a speeding metro bus.
2013-01-17 08:43:46 PM  
4 votes:
In other news, "fun size" candy bars are not actually fun.
2013-01-17 08:33:01 PM  
4 votes:
Subway has been irrelevant since they got rid of the "V" cut in their sandwiches.
2013-01-17 08:12:58 PM  
4 votes:
I wanted to punch everyone in that story. And the assumption that they're a fatass already makes me want to tell them they could go without that extra inch.
2013-01-17 08:58:16 PM  
3 votes:

mraudacia: now before you fark lot call me a racist ....

Too late.
2013-01-17 08:18:18 PM  
3 votes:
Are you f*cking kidding me? I saw a teaser for this story on the NBC Nightly News, and wept for our society.
2013-01-17 08:08:53 PM  
3 votes:

Contrabulous Flabtraption: Every subway sandwich tastes identical regardless of what you have them put on it

This, this, this. You may as well skip the cheese, too, since it has no farking flavor.
2013-01-17 07:58:02 PM  
3 votes:
Dear Consumerist....
2013-01-17 07:11:35 PM  
3 votes:
Five-dollar footWRONG!

*maniacal laughter*
2013-01-17 05:48:21 PM  
3 votes:
I'd be okay there's some leeway with natural variation to the bread rising... as long as they're within an inch one way or the other I think it's okay. Now if they go down to 10 inches, it's a whole different story.
2013-01-17 11:45:33 PM  
2 votes:
1.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size

I feel bad for those who have never had the pleasure of having a Publix sub. Knock on Florida all you want, but they got the supermarket right.

/Jimmy Johns isn't bad either
//Earl of Sandwich > Firehouse
///Subway is so bad..
2013-01-17 11:36:19 PM  
2 votes:

optikeye: Subway started sucking when they stopped doing the "V" cut in the bread. Something about that made the sandwich for me. None of the topping would eject out of it while eating.

For crying out loud, just rotate the damn sandwich 90 degrees. Fixed.
2013-01-17 10:24:40 PM  
2 votes:
Oh boy, what till subby finds out about hard drive sizes...

img2u.infoView Full Size
2013-01-17 09:49:16 PM  
2 votes:
So they're all worked up about the length, but they never think about the girth?
2013-01-17 09:16:24 PM  
2 votes:
It's almost as if proofing and baking bread changes its shape and size in a way that isn't strictly controllable.

Huh. Imagine that.
2013-01-17 09:08:57 PM  
2 votes:
Subway is the largest fast food chain in the world? Huh.
2013-01-17 08:47:02 PM  
2 votes:
If you are holding a tape measure to a Subway sandwich, you can officially and truly be said to have wasted your life.
2013-01-17 08:46:20 PM  
2 votes:
I seriously weep for the human race here in the US.

Of course, no one that eats at Subway apparently knows how bread is made.

That damn piece of dough could be stretch to 18" if they wanted to and then Subway could offer it as a promotional giveaway to please all those "inches" lost over the years.

And NO ONE has mentioned that they aren't measuring it properly anyways. You have to start from the 1" mark.
2013-01-17 08:44:37 PM  
2 votes:
Subway is doing your cheap, fat ass a favor. :)
2013-01-17 08:43:38 PM  
2 votes:
Living in NYC, I have a hard time understanding how Subway even exists here.
The food isn't very good, and there are thousands of other delis that make a better sandwich.
Do they still only have provolone?

/fark that place.
2013-01-17 08:39:52 PM  
2 votes:
So you're telling me that over 2 billion loaves of bread per year, made out of a dough containing live yeast as a leavening and baked by minimum wage slaves at over 38,000 different locations around the world may not all be exactly the same!? THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!!!! To the lawsuit-mobile!! Let's make a few lawyers fabulously wealthy so we can get a coupon for a free cookie with the purchase of 5 or more "foot"-long subs! Hooray!!
2013-01-17 08:29:46 PM  
2 votes:
Subway, the largest fast-food chain the world, has more than 38,000 restaurants in 100 countries.

IIRC that works out to 38,000 individual bakeries each producing at least a hundred loaves a day. And I bet they're nowhere near six-sigma in baking. So we have a large sample size in the bread department with proscribed meat and cheese slices which probably are sliced at or near six-sigma.

Of course, when I want a sub I hit Jimmy John's.
/Why can't women read maps?
// Because men insist that (hold hands about 6 inches apart) this is a foot long
2013-01-17 08:20:05 PM  
2 votes:
Whether it is 11" or 12" is really irrelevant. They are not going to add more dough; they're going to stretch the bread. Also, you're going to get the same amount of toppings; the extra inch is not going to add another slice of meat.

/Had Subway today.
//Got the Flatbread, but didn't measure it.
2013-01-17 08:19:59 PM  
2 votes:
Of all the crap that's going on with the world these days... and this? Seriously?

Time to let the cockroaches have a go.
2013-01-17 08:18:16 PM  
2 votes:
Firehouse is way better than Subway.

We don't really have any deli's around here.
2013-01-17 08:10:45 PM  
2 votes:
I go to my local deli for a sandwhich. They actually put meat in it.
2013-01-18 11:54:21 AM  
1 vote:
I hope this guy never goes and buys a 2x4... his head will explode.
2013-01-18 11:53:27 AM  
1 vote:
When they put them in the bag, they are standing upright. Their own weight will shrink them out some. If it is 11 inches, simply push down on the bread, tug a little, extra inch. I bet this guy gets upset too because they cut his pizza into 6 slices instead of 8 then biatches he is being shorted 2 pieces!
2013-01-18 10:45:58 AM  
1 vote:
Cheap fatties, great.
2013-01-18 08:04:48 AM  
1 vote:
Ha. Fat tards complaining about an inch of sandwich that may or may not affect caloric intake values any way....and then claims they'll never eat at Subway again.

images.sodahead.comView Full Size
2013-01-18 01:23:41 AM  
1 vote:

Contrabulous Flabtraption: Every subway sandwich tastes identical regardless of what you have them put on it

Mustard and mayo taste the same to you?
2013-01-18 12:57:51 AM  
1 vote:
img442.imageshack.usView Full Size

The Sandwich Nazi at La Charcuterie, Port Kells, B.C.
2013-01-18 12:47:43 AM  
1 vote:
lefthandedtoons.comView Full Size
2013-01-18 12:25:16 AM  
1 vote:
Corporations: Stop robbing people. Deliver what you promise.


Customers: Stop whining. Accept what you're given.

Now: See how easy that was?
2013-01-18 12:25:13 AM  
1 vote:

RockSquirrel: So someone from a country that uses the metric system is complaining that his sub isn't 12 inches?

You don't get a foot, because you don't have a foot!

I wonder if 304.8mm would have made him happier.
2013-01-17 11:28:00 PM  
1 vote:

shinjitsuism: Jersey

Jersey Mikes is nothing but Subway with more flair. Have you looked at the unsliced meat they prominently display in the cooler? The perfectly uniform, homogenous, blocks of processed meat ("with water added!!"). They have fake prosciutto (that's why they have to call it some fabricated name like "prosciuttini "). Subway pre-slices their crap and throws it into the bin until someone orders it. Jersey Mike's, on the other hand, slices their crap right in front of you and pretends it isn't crap.
2013-01-17 10:25:12 PM  
1 vote:
Weight is really the best way to measure bread. The average person should be expected to realize that the terms foot long or six inch can not and do not indicate a specific amount of bread and Subway cannot therefore be held accountable for false advertising. If Subway wanted to they could bake you a three foot long bread stick. You wouldn't be getting any more actual bread but at least it would be a more suitable size for cleaning the sand from your vagina.
2013-01-17 09:58:21 PM  
1 vote:
It doesn't matter which car you get into on the Subway, they all go to the same place.
2013-01-17 09:48:14 PM  
1 vote:
"I always thought I was always getting 12" subs ... I do smell a lawsuit," she said.

No. fark you and your lawsuit inside and out with a rusty dildo coated in needles from dirty syringes. You're what's farking wrong with everything; why we can't have nice things.
2013-01-17 09:46:27 PM  
1 vote:
I felt bad watching undercover boss, an 18 year old kid run a subway restaurant really efficiently, when the CEO showed up, he was slow, terrible, and had the attitude of 'oh well it can wait' talking to people in line and stuff when they clearly just wanted to exchange money for a sub and get out as quickly as possible. The numbnuts even locked himself in the freezer. Kid was twice the worker this man is yet will never see 1/1,000th of the pay check. Sad sad economic system we have.
2013-01-17 09:42:51 PM  
1 vote:
The real lie is when they claim their ingredients have any flavor.
2013-01-17 09:17:32 PM  
1 vote:
Great...another sub prime scandal.
2013-01-17 09:14:45 PM  
1 vote:
Doesn't matter which sub you get at Subway, they all taste the same.
2013-01-17 09:02:39 PM  
1 vote:

strangeguitar: Contrabulous Flabtraption: Every subway sandwich tastes identical regardless of what you have them put on it

They keep the meat slices in water for fark's sake! I know it's less expensive than a freshly made deli hoagie, but goddamnit! have some farking respect for yourself.

/Primo's in Philly area is pretty good.

We have a convenience store / gas station that actually has better subs than subway by a wide margin. Made to order right there fresh with bread they've made. I know it sounds stupid. Same store sells those nasty sandwiches and pizza slices that sit under a heater. But the sandwiches are really quite good. Now if you can't beat a gas station on flavor of you sandwich and that's all you do is make sandwiches, perhaps you should try harder.
2013-01-17 08:59:53 PM  
1 vote:

ski9600: That's just carpenter math at work. Or you could say lumber manufacturer math.

//a 2" x 4" is actually: 1 1/2 in × 3 1/2 in (38 mm × 89 mm)
/either way, it's reduced size for the same price

Truth is, it starts off 2x4, rough cut. It is then planed and sanded, finishing at 1.5 x 3.5. = bad analogy.
2013-01-17 08:57:53 PM  
1 vote:
I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that the blogger and perhaps subby have never bought bread that didn't come out of a rectangular pan before.

If they put the same weight of bread to start with and the same amount of fillings, toppings etc... I don't care how farking long it is.

/ that's what she said
2013-01-17 08:55:56 PM  
1 vote:
Maybe it's me but that sandwich looks like someone slung the bag around several times before they opened it. When I get my sandwich home they never look that squished.

Also, the people complaining about this are farking retards, every last one of them.
2013-01-17 08:54:47 PM  
1 vote:

Government Fromage: Subway has been irrelevant since they got rid of the "V" cut in their sandwiches.


Meatballs squirt out the end with the horizontal cut.

/And don't even get me started about how I have to stop the farkers from cutting my footlong meatball in half with a knife covered in a disgusting layer of mixed condiments from cutting sandwiches in half.
//At least they tesselate the cheese now
2013-01-17 08:50:59 PM  
1 vote:

bratchaman: I seriously weep for the human race here in the US.

FTA: The controversy began earlier this week when an Australian man posted a photo on the company's Facebook page of his footlong sub alongside a measuring tape that read 11 inches...

Yep, it's all Americans fault.
2013-01-17 08:46:53 PM  
1 vote:

mod3072: The Angry Hand of God: I told my girlfriend I was going to give her twelve inches, but I would have to put it in twice. She dumped me after she told me it was more like three times.

She told me "Give me nine inches and make it hurt!", so I farked her three times and punched her in the throat.

That is much better! Thank you!
2013-01-17 08:39:22 PM  
1 vote:
aneeshchaganty.files.wordpress.comView Full Size
2013-01-17 08:36:03 PM  
1 vote:
I think it's way worse that the "ham" in the cold cut trio is made out of turkey. Read that again. Something that says "ham" is made out of turkey. n uId=53&MenuTypeId=1
2013-01-17 08:35:16 PM  
1 vote:
Danielle Neal said, "I feel like you've straight-out lied to costumers. I don't care if it's just an inch, it's the moral of the matter that concerns me."

So many "that's what she said" jokes, so little time.
2013-01-17 08:33:48 PM  
1 vote:

[foot-lawng, -long] Show IPA
approximately one foot in length: Their specialty is footlong hotdogs.
something that is approximately one foot in length.

Anyone who is complaining has never looked up the definition of the actual word.
2013-01-17 08:32:50 PM  
1 vote:
Maybe it's an Imperial Foot?
2013-01-17 08:25:30 PM  
1 vote:
When they make the sandwich, they should lay a cucumber slice on each end that sticks out about 1/2 inch.
2013-01-17 08:22:58 PM  
1 vote:
Whats better a 12 inch sandwich that weighs 12 ounces or a 11 inch sandwich that weighs 14 ounces?
2013-01-17 08:20:26 PM  
1 vote:

Jument: won't the drone Sandwich Artist put on less toppings?

2013-01-17 08:15:35 PM  
1 vote:
This is upsetting? We knew in the (spins calendar) 1960's that fast food won't look like the pictures of it on the television do.
2013-01-17 08:15:04 PM  
1 vote:

Contrabulous Flabtraption: Every subway sandwich tastes identical regardless of what you have them put on it

2013-01-17 08:13:33 PM  
1 vote:

skwerl: Just throw half the bread away.

Well, 45% of it.
2013-01-17 08:12:05 PM  
1 vote:

thismomentinblackhistory: Contrabulous Flabtraption: Every subway sandwich tastes identical regardless of what you have them put on it

This, this, this. You may as well skip the cheese, too, since it has no farking flavor.

Except for the shredded cheese. Somehow that manages to be the only Subway cheese (including the pepper jack) that has any flavor.
2013-01-17 08:11:36 PM  
1 vote:
IT WAS COLD! There was shrinkage!
2013-01-17 08:09:21 PM  
1 vote:
The guys who sign on to that complaint had better not have ever told a woman "OF COURSE it's eight inches!"

The women who sign on to that, well, I doubt any guy will go for them without being damn sure there's no tape measure in the bedroom.
2013-01-17 06:30:04 PM  
1 vote:
Subway's inching for trouble if they think they're going to get away with this feat
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