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(Buzzfeed)   25 everyday problems that desperately need to be solved in 2013. FARK headline repeats notoriously absent   ( buzzfeed.com) divider line
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5425 clicks; posted to Geek » on 15 Jan 2013 at 4:49 PM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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2013-01-15 07:39:42 PM  
1 vote:
Bored, in a "get off my damned lawn" mood.

1. Easily solved, if you want to pay $0.10-0.15 more per muffin. But, you don't, do you, you cheapskate, so the baker uses the cheapest cup possible. Pay up or shut up.
2. Buy expensive liquid soap dispenser, once, and then refill with far-cheaper bulk liquid soap bottles. Solves "problem", pays for itself in 2-3 refillings.
3. Duh. Don't buy an iPhone, sucker.
4. Duh. Don't use Facebook, sucker.
5. Plastic fatigue. Tape's cheap, and when used before the plastic clip/spring/point/whatever suffers fatigue, extends life of remote. Think ahead - accidents only happen when the prerequisites for an accident are present. Remove those prerequisites, minimize or eliminate the possibility of accidents.
6. Frequency occurs well within tolerable ranges. Man up, nancy. Either pay more for shelled pistachios, learn to crack them open by pinching two together, or just accept that not everything goes your way.
7. First, l2write. Second, the vacuum cleaner's power cord does tend to stretch with use - coil in 'X' pattern, or add a second cord clip about 3" from plug. Cord clips are cheap, and you can find them at hardware stores (you know, one of those stores you've apparently never entered, if this list is any indication.)
8. Learn how to use a knife. More precise, less waste. Can't use a knife? Belt sander.
9. Either upgrade your decade-old USB thumb drive, or buy a cheap 4-port USB hub, you stingy bastard.
10. Either man up, nancy, and accept that it's not for you (if you're honest), or use an anonymizer in the target region (if you're dishonest.) I'm betting on the latter, if this list is any indication.
11. Man up, nancy, and use a pencil, pen, chopstick, book corner, or just about any tool other than your friggin' finger to quickly pop your top.
12. Use a knife to bisect the top first, then easily peel off the two halves. You're the product of four billion years of evolution - farking act like it. We're tool users.
13. Man up, nancy - practice it. That's what penmanship was for, before the last two generations whined that it was too hard and they didn't need it, what with typewriters, computers, and all.
14. More like "poor road placement." Many roads move long after the sewers below them were laid. Besides, that picture is just lazy replacement - that road worker should've taken a bit more pride.
15. See 12., above, you troglodyte. You're holding a friggin' spoon, after all (one assumes...) - use the edge of the spoon to bisect, and then peel. Don't tug - a steady pull overcomes the adhesive. A tug overcomes the paper or foil faster than the adhesive. The pudding will be there when you're done - take an extra couple of seconds.
16. Take your own pictures, and stop whining - if you hadn't been busy stealing every piece of media you could find, the owners wouldn't have to piss in the corner to claim it as theirs, now, would they?
17. If you're at a gym and you see a douche doing that, say something - politely - first to them, and then to the gym attendants. It's a friggin' safety hazard. If the douche or the gym doesn't deal with it, find another gym - the clientele sucks and the gym doesn't care.
18. Eat at Jimmy John's, not Subway or Quizno's (and certainly not at friggin' Safeway.) It's a buck more an 8" Gargantuan sandwich stuffed with high-quality ingredients, instead of a 12" tube of bread filled with salad provided by the lowest bidder.
19. Learn to savor the salsa, eating small amounts first, because you're so clueless at estimation that you run out of something you can easily quantify by eye. Start slow, finish big - you should know this by now.
20. RTFM, nancy. Right-click the word in question, after ensuring it's correct, and add it to the dictionary in Word. Or, add a custom dictionary, specific to your needs, to Word. It's a tool, you're a tool user - learn to use the tool.
21. Again, genius, we're tool users. Learn to use the tool appropriately, and don't assume simply yanking the zipper harder will fix the problem.
22. "Bigger font" does not equal "bigger name," and print books by well-known authors sell more on name recognition. It's intentional, sissy-boy. It's the same reason "World of Warcraft" is bigger than either the author or title name on the book below in that picture.
23. What are you, new? Learn how to level a stove, then learn how to retrue the bottom of a warped pan.
24. Man up, nancy, and stop drinking out of pouches. If you can't do that, learn how to pinch the bag first before sticking the straw in, rather than just pushing the friggin' straw into the pouch like you were shivving your friggin' cellmate.
25. Duh. Stop eating food designed to make you fat and give you heartburn.
2013-01-15 04:51:54 PM  
1 vote:
I see what you did there. Well played, modmins, well played.
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