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(KATU)   The reason Windows 8 isn't catching on? Customers are "confused". I think the word they want is "baffled"   ( katu.com) divider line
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4619 clicks; posted to Geek » on 13 Jan 2013 at 1:21 PM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-01-13 12:30:42 PM  
10 votes:
*leg sweep*
*judo chop*
*monkey steals the peach*
2013-01-13 11:18:16 PM  
5 votes:
Payroll is due tomorrow. While the accounting department was out to lunch we replaced their desktop PCs with tablets running the new Windows 8 operating system. Let's see if they notice.
2013-01-13 04:34:43 PM  
5 votes:
I am just glad Microsoft doesn't design cars.

Yes, we replaced the steering wheel with 5 joysticks and since everyone loves touch screens we replaced the gas and brake pedals with touch sensors in your seat. Clench you left buttock for gas and clench your right buttocks to break.

And we removed the key ignition from the steering wheel column. It is now in the trunk, behind the spare tire.

2013-01-13 01:58:21 PM  
3 votes:
I don't want to upgrade to Windows 8 because I know how to hide my porn and browsing from my wife in Windows 7 and I don't want to have relearn how to do it and risk making a mistake.
2013-01-13 01:25:10 PM  
3 votes:

LasersHurt: Just hit Start and start typing. You'll find everything.

So they've dumped the GUI in favor of the command line? Wow, I never thought I'd see the day.
2013-01-14 02:58:45 PM  
2 votes:
I think the real problem with windows 8 is that the program icons and widgets don't have a complex enough "appearance" sequence. Back in the mid 90's, when clicking the start button, you instantly saw the contents of the menu. Eventually this was upgraded to an animated scroll up of the menu contents. This was a nice feature as it allowed you to catch your breath momentarily while waiting for the icons to appear. Later versions of windows replaced this with a fade. It gave the same refreshing wait time to see the menu contents, but in a different flavor that made the experience exciting and new. Now with windows 8 we have nice scrolling, zooming, and fading effect as well as a slightly increased delay time for the contents to appear. What I would really like to see Microsoft do is take it to the next level. I'd like it if when you right clicked an icon, little animated robots (with big cute eyes) ran out onto the desktop and started to build the menu. It would be funny if some of the robots slipped or made mistakes that other robots had to fix. For instance, one robot could misspell the word 'properties' at the bottom of the menu and another robot could smack him (in a cute way) and fix his mistake. Then when they are finished building the menu they could join hands and dance around the menu box.
2013-01-13 06:14:06 PM  
2 votes:
i166.photobucket.comView Full Size
2013-01-13 04:41:44 PM  
2 votes:

Suckmaster Burstingfoam: Pft, I was using Win98 til 2009.

Now that I have Vista, I assume I'll keep using that til... 2020? By then I guess someone might have invented a Linux distro that's not utter chickenshiat.

Unity shall be everywhere.
2013-01-13 01:59:49 PM  
2 votes:

Cthulhu_is_my_homeboy: Mouse to the right of the screen, click gear icon, click power icon. It ain't rocket surgery.

*Sigh* For the class of users for whom "out of sight, out of mind" is a very real phenomenon, this is rocket surgery.

My MIL wants to know how to get to Home Shopping Network. She doesn't know Firefox from IE from Chrome. She doesn't want to. It would no more occur to her to go to a hidden Start button in the corner of her screen and start typing "firefox" in order to get to the Home Shopping Network than it would to run out in the middle of the street and scream "I WANT TO ORDER A NICE BLOUSE" into thin air.
2013-01-13 01:55:02 PM  
2 votes:

Zmog: Does people who used Windows 7 and get paralyzed by Windows 8 also get paralyzed by jeans with a button up fly when their other pants used to have zippers? Or by velcro instead of shoelaces?

I moved from button fly jeans to jeans with zippers, and the first time I zipped up my pants I got my foreskin caught in the zipper.
2013-01-14 06:43:07 PM  
1 vote:

extroverted_suicide: Some of us use computers for real work, not (just) playing Angry Birds and watching pr0n.

What about Angry Bird pr0n?

Not looking for Rule 34.
2013-01-14 12:34:41 PM  
1 vote:

shifter_: And to the people that think it is stable? Go into you system logs and see all of the shiat happening behind the scenes..... just a matter of time before you get a critical error....... like if you plug something into USB while it is going into power down hibernate mode. Yep that was a good one. Good news is I lost all of the tiles when it happened! WOOT!

On a similar note, apparently you can BSOD (black, in this case) Windows Phone 8 and have it ask you to insert a CD.

Probably not all too common, but still amusing
2013-01-14 01:39:56 AM  
1 vote:

towatchoverme: don't care how much you White Knight Windows 8, LasersHurt ... Clippy isn't gonna sleep with you.

Don't be so sure.
Clippy's a slut.
2013-01-14 01:05:50 AM  
1 vote:
I don't care how much you White Knight Windows 8, LasersHurt ... Clippy isn't gonna sleep with you.

/We get it ... everyone else is old and you're not
//Everyone's wrong and you're not
2013-01-13 08:47:04 PM  
1 vote:

Marine1: The Windows Start Button had its place and its time. Now, we've got a new paradigm for usage coming in, and Microsoft is adapting to it. I like it, personally: not everything is best done in a Win32 application. Some stuff is better. Windows 8 gives us options. Computer manufacturers are being forced to actually innovate and think of new ways to do things. I see nothing wrong with this.

Except the "use a GUI that you have used for a decade and are familiar and comfortable with" option.

W8 does not give us the option, it is taking away options and trying to force users to use am interface designed for a touchscreen tablet on a desktop PC.

Tablets you hold in your hand. A touchscreen is a logical and easy way to control them.

You do not hold the monitor of a desktop PC in your hands. It is too high, too far away and too big and your hands are on or near the keyboard and mouse on which most people do most of their work.

All these people thinking using a touchscreen on their PC makes sense clearly work at McDonalds and are happy with the screen having big pictures of a Big Mac, a cheeseburger and fries etc and think that is the way to use a PC.

/Idiotocracy got it right with their medical input screen.
2013-01-13 08:12:56 PM  
1 vote:

Unknown_Poltroon: Ive been wokring tech support for 20 years. I played with it in the store. It annoyed the crap out of me. Still better than visto.

img213.imageshack.usView Full Size

There's an XKCD for everything.
2013-01-13 07:15:11 PM  
1 vote:

Flint Ironstag: What does Metro actually add? Mirrors, windscreens and seatbelts all added a useful function. What does removing Start and adding Metro actually add?

To continue the car analogy, Windows 8 is a car which has had it's gas pedal, brake pedal and steering wheel replaced with a theremin.

And yes, while you may someday learn how to wave your hands around in just the right way make this car move where you want it to go, NOBODY HAS TIME FOR THAT. We've got places to be, and not a lot of time to get there, and this clunky excuse for a control scheme is just getting in the way.

Is it any wonder that the general consensus is that windows 8 is a lemon?

Ever heard the phrase "if it ain't broke, don't fix it?"

It wasn't broke. Why did you idiots try to "fix" it?
2013-01-13 05:50:43 PM  
1 vote:

Zmog: Ignore grammar fail above.

I blame it on Windows 8.
2013-01-13 05:21:29 PM  
1 vote:
You know what task oriented enterprise software end users really enjoy? That's right, re-learning how to use their operating system, because the operating system on their desktop at work is the most important priority they have.

"It's even better than the introduction of ribbon menu's," said Suzy in Accounting. "I can't wait for them to alphabetize the keyboard so everyone will be able to type!"
2013-01-13 03:30:58 PM  
1 vote:
It's sad that a lot of people listen to trash talk of windows 8 without checking the sources of their information, most of which comes from sources owned or paid for by competitors.

Windows 8 is intended to pave the way for tablets becoming as powerful as laptops and eventually desktops in the near future. It is a little disconcerting seeing all those icons all over the Start Screen, but after you realize what is going on there is really little difference between it and windows 8. It also runs lighter than Windows 7 and has lower minimum requirements to run.

There are 4 important things to realize when switching to windows 8:
1) You are not required to have a touch screen! Though if you are using a laptop and like to use the touch pad, you can use the touch pad as if it was the screen for navigation.
2) The Start Button from previous incarnations of windows is gone and has been replaced with a Start Screen. All the programs you used to see in the Button are now on the Start Screen.
3) The Shutdown button has been moved to the Charms.
4) Click on your Desktop icon to get to the desktop. You will see little to no difference here from previous versions, other than the missing Start Button. You can freely drown it in links like most people do anyway and never need to use the Start Screen.

What I don't like about windows 8:
-The App version of Internet Explorer sucks monkey snot. Good thing I tend to use Firefox or Chrome.
-It requires you to have a Microsoft email account and to log into the computer with it in order to access the Skydrive features. It's a peeve of mine when anything requires you to log in using an Email account as those are easily found and then all hackers need is to guess/hack your password. Much better when they have to guess your login name as well.
-Converting to Windows 8 from an older version removes the icons from pre-Office 2010 documents. It's as if they are trying to convince you to convert to 2010... But easily fixable if you re-install your older version.
-One of the patches sent it into an infinite patching loop on reboot. Good thing the built-in imaging worked great so I could restore.

In summary, the changes compared to Windows 7 are insignificant, though if you never used 7 in the 1st place, whatever fears you had about going to Windows 7 are probably still in play. If you are a Mac user, please don't lie to people in an attempt to scare them. Those of us who actually know how to fix computers and try to genuinely help others with them know that 99.9% of Max users would find a way to electrocute themselves if they tried to dust out the inside of a computer.
2013-01-13 02:39:23 PM  
1 vote:

Bungles: Windows is still a thousand times easier to use than any Mac OS variant (still have no idea what I'm doing when unexpectedly favorited!ed on a Mac, after 15 years of it happening). Its ease of use is simply a marketing lie if you want to do anything even borderline complex.

This is an official Windows 8 Sucks(SM) thread. That troll is only authorized for Apple and Linux threads.
2013-01-13 01:54:06 PM  
1 vote:

LasersHurt: I literally support people for a living.

The complaint this keeps boiling down to is "anything is different at all, and any learning at all makes it a bad OS." I think that's lazy, because it takes literally SECONDS to learn what to do, and the OS outside of these few new things is great.

BS: You've never tried to teach a grandma to cut-and-paste.
2013-01-13 01:48:00 PM  
1 vote:

oh_please: LasersHurt: Holy shiat, guys, press the Windows key. There, everything's back the way it was.

It's so easy to use, and been completely stable. I don't know what has given you guys such trouble.

Except, "Where's the Start button on my desktop?"

Lower left corner. Where it always has been. It just vanishes when you aren't using it now. Kinda like if you had "hide the taskbar" enabled.

"I'm in a program and can't get out of it!"

What? No, seriously. What? Alt-F4, the corner X icon, and alt-tab are still there.

"How do I restart/shut down?"

Mouse to the right of the screen, click gear icon, click power icon. It ain't rocket surgery.

"I don't know how to find a file"

Again, what? Explorer is still there, and they didn't hide it anywhere obscure. It's a button on the goddamn taskbar by default. Or you can search from the start screen by just typing the name, which is 1000 times faster than searching through folders.

"How do I get rid of all these buttons I never use? I don't want to go to HP.com or Ebay!"

...and on and on and on.

Right mouse button, motherfarker. Do you have one?

Metro is a solid interface for phones/tablets, but it's horribly clunky on an actual PC, Grandma will have to relearn everything. She may as well get an Apple.

You haven't actually used W8, have you? Quit spreading FUD. You barely have to even use the Metro interface if you don't like it, 99% of stuff, including all advanced system tasks, are done through the desktop, and the 1% where you do interact with Metro, beats the fark out of the old start menu. Chasing nested menus around the screen drove me bugfark nuts, but if you want them that badly, there's classicshell.

And for the record, my mother, who is the poster child for computer illiteracy, bought a new windows 8 laptop and she was up and running in no time, knew exactly how to get along with it.
2013-01-13 01:38:14 PM  
1 vote:

LasersHurt: oh_please: Metro is a solid interface for phones/tablets, but it's horribly clunky on an actual PC, Grandma will have to relearn everything.

"Everything"? Relearn "Everything"? Just hit Start and start typing. You'll find everything. That's just ONE thing to learn, and it works well. As far as adding or removing tiles, either just use the desktop like they're familiar with, or learn the one or two things necessary. It takes seconds.

I mean, there are a FEW things that are different, but it's not jarring because the core behind it all is the same.

For you, yes. I'm talking about the people who have worked with an XP unit for the last 6-10 years, it's finally died, and they go out and buy a new PC. There's a farkton of those people, and they'll have no idea where to begin. Remember when they removed the word "Start" from the Start button in Vista? Older folks went apeshiat.

There's no sense in making people jump through extra hoops in an effort to force your mobile OS down peoples throats. I've had 8 for a while, and sure, it's OK once you get used to it. But your average user will boot it up for the first time, see Mail, click on it thinking, "Ok, I'll set up my email", then is prompted to register with a Live account. "WTF? OK, don't want to do this...it won't leave? How do I get out of it? I DON'T KNOW!!!! NOTHING I'VE BEEN TAUGHT TO DO FOR ALL MY LIFE WORKS!"

Gamers, you know Games For Windows Live? This is the OS version of that.
2013-01-13 01:32:46 PM  
1 vote:

LasersHurt: Just hit Start and start typing.

2013-01-13 12:41:38 PM  
1 vote:
BTW when is Microsoft gonna deliver on the full-audit-trailing file system they've been promising since a few OSes ago?
2013-01-13 12:18:48 PM  
1 vote:
Microsoft makes shiatty products trying to force conumers to do what it wants them to do, gets absolutely murdered in the marketplace, reluctantly makes a good product with the features comsumers want, makes money, gets drunk and overconfident on the money, and starts the cycle again.
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