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(C|Net)   Holy crap, they actually did it. Virginia Attorney General files felony spam charges, arrests asshat spammer   ( divider line
    More: Hero  
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16626 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Dec 2003 at 6:52 PM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

125 Comments     (+0 »)

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2003-12-11 06:54:54 PM  
Hopefully the first of many arrests.
2003-12-11 06:54:55 PM  
Cue the Hallelujah chorus.
2003-12-11 06:55:10 PM  
praise jebus.
2003-12-11 06:55:24 PM  
That fellow might get lonely and bored in the clink. Maybe we should all send him a peice of mail.
2003-12-11 06:55:54 PM  

Take that you Spamming Cur!
2003-12-11 06:55:56 PM  
Now let's hope they can get a CONVICTION.
2003-12-11 06:56:14 PM  
Let me be the first to welcome our new Attorney General overlords.
2003-12-11 06:56:39 PM  
In American Courts the mass of spam mail they show in court will probably be called circumstancial evidence.
2003-12-11 06:56:40 PM  
2003-12-11 06:57:06 PM  
Virginia Attorney General Jerry Kilgore is my own personal Jesus Christ.
2003-12-11 06:57:19 PM  
also known under the pseudonym "Gaven Stubberfield,

Oy! Gaven with haven for the maven! Laydeeee with the spaaaam! GAVEN!
2003-12-11 06:57:24 PM  
They should string him up in public and let each person that received an email from him throw one small stone at him from about 6 meters.
2003-12-11 06:58:02 PM  
Woohoo! Now what?
2003-12-11 06:58:11 PM  
do you think they'll treat spammers any worse than child molesters in the big-house?
2003-12-11 06:59:10 PM  
And I would have gotten away with it too, had it not been for you meddling kids!
2003-12-11 07:00:02 PM  
Best. Use. Of. Hero. Tag. Ever.
2003-12-11 07:00:13 PM  
2003-12-11 07:00:31 PM  
I want to be the one that pushes the plunger on the needle!
2003-12-11 07:01:06 PM  
They are talking 20 Years behind bars for these guys. Errr....remind me what OJ got for a double homicide....oh yeah nothing. Fair world!

/Takes a look at the overflowing spam in his mailbox.....

Hang the farking spammers!
2003-12-11 07:01:31 PM  
Send him a bill. By email.
2003-12-11 07:03:13 PM  

Does this mean I shouldn't be sending all of you ads for penis enlargement potions any more?

No more encouragements to invest in Nigerian capital ventures?

No more X10 cams?

No more pr0n site come-ons with lurid flashing gifs?


You'll miss me when all the emails you get are from people who actually know you.
2003-12-11 07:03:34 PM  
So if I get 20 spams, can I go for a brick at three feet?
2003-12-11 07:04:19 PM  
Taking bets now on whether they get off with a slap on the wrist....
2003-12-11 07:04:34 PM  
Let's make luncheon meat of him!
2003-12-11 07:04:55 PM  
About time.
2003-12-11 07:05:11 PM  
Ms Information: we have a boat we use in the summertime.
its name: Ms.Management....
2003-12-11 07:05:39 PM  
I bet the guy was easy to find. They just looked for a dude with a 15 inch penis making $3000/wk at home by stuffing envelopes.
2003-12-11 07:05:44 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2003-12-11 07:06:22 PM  
i hope they send him to federal pound-me-in-the-ass prison
2003-12-11 07:06:22 PM  
I hope that he ends up in Federal Pound-Me-In-The-Ass Prison
2003-12-11 07:06:58 PM  
That was too weird
2003-12-11 07:07:11 PM  
2003-12-11 07:07:18 PM  
Wow, we both thought of that incredibly obvious joke at EXACTLY the same moment...jinxies?
2003-12-11 07:07:41 PM  
If John Ashcroft had been behind this, you'd all be posting Hitler photos.
2003-12-11 07:08:23 PM  
No way, Ashcroft is incredibly repressive and shiats on the Constitution, but I'd still give him a huge high five if he did his job and cracked down on people sending me ads for peeing teenage girls.
2003-12-11 07:08:30 PM  

Nope just a small stone, almost a pebble actually. He needs to live through 100,000+ of them, so everyone he bothered can actually take their frustrations out on him. Perhaps they could do it during a NFL half time show. Lots of people would be screaming, HEY GAVEN! I AM OPTING OUT! as he was pelted with a rain storm of pebbles. Oh god that would be so great!
2003-12-11 07:08:49 PM  
Hmmm.... buttraped spamer... spammer and new cell mate, Bubba.... spamer hosed down with fire hoses... spamer assaulted in shower... spamer gangraped by prison KKK cliqe.... spamer stripsearched and shoved into a cold isolation cell naked... spamer forced to eat shiat off the toilet... spamer crying like a baby when he gets his first blanket part...

see, cuz dem guys in jail, they don't like babyfarkers, and they like spamers even less.
2003-12-11 07:11:45 PM  
The posts in this thread will probably all need an irony tag since most of you are the type of people that would biatch about Ashcrofts Nazi army of evil thugs if this had been another arrest of someone like Tommy Chong.

But since it's a spammer it's all peachy I guess.
2003-12-11 07:11:48 PM  
I dunno... I think this calls for a Photoshop (tm) event, anyone got any good ideas?
2003-12-11 07:11:58 PM  
Awesome! Hopefully he will get convicted too.
2003-12-11 07:12:25 PM  
Man, I guess I shouldn't biatch about Nazi armies of evil thugs, is what you're saying?
2003-12-11 07:13:24 PM  

What some of you guys don't realize is that we have a sonic plethysmograph hooked up to you during your FARKing sessions here, and that we know you get excited when you type the words "pound me in the ass."

2003-12-11 07:13:32 PM  
Great news, but I think they got the wrong guy. This guy is a saint, actually, spamming AOLers and all.
2003-12-11 07:13:35 PM  

I don't suppose you considered the fact that those are two different situations.
2003-12-11 07:13:36 PM  
Or just start stoning him, but tell him he can OPT-OUT if he likes.
2003-12-11 07:13:47 PM  
Spammers are highly annoying dickheads who advertise things nobody wants. Tommy Chong sold things to people who wanted them. Do you see the distinction?
2003-12-11 07:13:51 PM  

hmmm... spammer or nazi punk.... spammer or nazi punk... nazi punk... spammer...

god, that's a hard choice to make. NAZI PUNK of course (as if it's really a choice)
2003-12-11 07:15:19 PM  
He won't be going to federal prison...this is a state-level offense.

Besides, federal prisons won't have anything to do with shenanigans like prisoner rape. You'll be isolated and dealt with quickly. Federal prisons are actually quite nice, compared to state prisons. State prisons are the pound-you-in-the-ass ones. This spammer is headed to state prison (hopefully, but we all know he'll get off like OJ or else get probation anyway). I love Mike Judge but he really dropped the ball on the wide, yawning gulf between state and federal prisons.
2003-12-11 07:15:50 PM  
Prison! Prison! They must go to prison! A fine is just the cost of doing business.
2003-12-11 07:15:55 PM  
my god, it's just email. hit the farkin delete key, end of story. aren't jails already crowded enough?

/never sends spam, never reads spam, only deletes spam. "Cuz I don't like Spam!!!"
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