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(The Detroit_News)   The guy who jumped into the Bronx Zoo's tiger pit and got mauled pleads not guilty to trespassing charges, planning a "dumbass" defense   ( divider line
    More: Followup, Bronx Zoo, dumbass, zoos, David Villalobos  
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3188 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Jan 2013 at 3:18 PM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-01-11 06:10:17 PM  
1 vote:
There's always the toxoplasmosis defense. A brain parasite forced him to try to feed himself to the tiger so it could reproduce in its natural definitive host
2013-01-11 05:17:30 PM  
1 vote:

uncleacid: The tigers were quoted saying he tasted great.

a.abcnews.go.comView Full Size
2013-01-11 03:41:20 PM  
1 vote:
I grew near the zoo. There was a boy in my class whom everyone hated. He'd grab your ears from behind and just about tear them off. And when his father would drop him off at school in the morning, he'd always make the kid kiss him on the mouth. Some mornings he would kiss him longer than others, but despite the duration, it was disturbing to everybody. I stayed away from him, but felt sorry for him at the same time.

One day we took a field trip to the Bronx Zoo. Just my luck, I got buddied with the kid. I didn't care if he lived or died, so I didn't make for a very good buddy, though the teacher kept telling me to stick with him every time I'd try to get off by myself. He kept pestering me about his backpack - "hey, I got something. I got something to show ya. Hey take a look at this." I ignored it for as long as I could.

He finally drug me away from the group and we were off by ourselves near the tiger cage. He said, "Hey, hey, look at this." Then he took out a big hunk of fatty stew meat. I asked him what he was going to do with it. Then he peeled back a piece of the raw meat and showed me what was inside - fish hooks, sharp little bastard fish hooks, and lots of them.

He said, "hey, hey, watch this." Then he threw it over the wall, down into the tiger pit, where the big male tiger jumped all over it. He batted it a few times and then, when another tiger started coming over, he gobbled it down, fish hooks and all.

I was frozen and just stared at the tiger, waiting for something to happen. Like maybe it'd explode or something. But it just went and laid down while I kept staring at it. The kid was going on and on about it, "hey, look at him. look at that big one. he's gonna die. he's gonna die tonight!" He was happy about it, happier than I'd ever seen him, which wasn't hard for him to surpass.

Finally, I asked him, "what did you do that for?" And he said, "I dunno. Always wanted to, I guess." Then he went running off toward the group.

I was sweating. My stomach hurt. It felt worse and worse, the longer I stood there and stared at the tiger, who didn't seem to know what had happened to him. Finally, I couldn't take thinking about it, so I ran off and found one of the staff, who could barely wrap his mind around what I was telling him. "Fish hooks? He fed fish hooks to the tiger?" Then all hell broke loose as they tried to figure out what to do about it.

There wasn't anything they could do, I guess. I saw in the paper that they had to put the tiger down after multiple attempts at fixing it. I went up to my room and cried after I saw that.

The kid was out of school for a few days, but he eventually came back. He was sullen and wrapped into himself, just sat in the back of class. He'd wait until everyone had left before he would get up to go. I watched him too, expecting something to more to happen, but nothing ever did. His father kept dropping him off and picking him up, kissing him on the mouth.
2013-01-11 03:40:25 PM  
1 vote:

gregory311: Can't imagine why he thought it was a good idea when things like this always work out for the kooks.

[ image 598x390]

lol, fatty getting wrecked by a polar bear.

/would only be better were it a black bear
2013-01-11 03:30:09 PM  
1 vote:
The tigers were quoted saying he tasted great.
2013-01-11 03:30:06 PM  
1 vote:
"I was testing my natural fear."



"Yep, it's still there."
2013-01-11 01:56:27 PM  
1 vote:
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2013-01-11 01:52:01 PM  
1 vote:
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