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4888 clicks; posted to Politics » on 01 Jan 2013 at 6:00 PM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:    more»

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View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Hey, Zombalupagus, you seem to have need some help with the situation you find yourself in here. Believe it or not, there is a way to save face and redeem your credibility! Since you apparently don't know how, I'll give you complete, step-by-step instructions:

• Step 1: Click in the "Comment:" text area below this thread where you type in your responses. I assume that you already have your "Login:" and "Password:" entered. You should see a flashing text bar cursor in the upper left corner of that text area.

• Step 2a: Look at your keyboard. Over on the left side, second row from the bottom, you'll see a large key. It's labeled "Shift". Press and hold this [Shift ] key with your left pinky finger.

• Step 2b: While still holding that key down, hover your right index fingertip over the top row of keys on the typewriter-like alphanumeric portion of the keyboard. These are all small keys. Most of them have numerals (digits) as their bottom labels, and a punctuation symbol as the top label. The digits are in numerical order (except that zero [0] follows nine [9]), so it's easy to find the spot we're looking for: you need to hover the fingertip between two keys, namely, the one labeled [*8] and the one next to it labeled [(9] (the labels here are shown horizontally separated, but actually they're vertically separated: the punctuation symbol is on top of the digit). Now, move your fingertip down one row, and it should be hovering over a key labeled [I]. Press and release that key, then release the [Shift ] key. You should see "I" appear in the "Comments:" edit box, with the bar cursor now flashing just to the right of it.

• Step 2c: Finally, with either thumb, press and release the widest key on the keyboard, one that has no label at all. This is called the "space bar." You should see no text change in the box, but the flashing bar cursor should move slightly to the right, a very short distance away from the "I" that you created in Step 2b.

• Step 3a: Remember how we used the top row of number keys to help find a letter key in Step 2b? Well, let's do it again: this time, we need to hover our left index fingertip between the [@2] and [#3] keys, then move down one row. The key that your fingertip should now be hovering over should be labeled [W]. Press and release it, and remember it because we're going to need it again in Step 4a. You should now see a "w" appear a short distance to the right of the "I" with a small space between them, and the flashing bar cursor now just to the right of the newly-created "w."

Step 3b: With your left fingertip still on or above the [W] key, move it down one row and to the left one key so that hovers over the [A] key. Press and release it, and voila! "a" has now been added just after the "w", and the flashing bar cursor is now just to the right of the newly-created "a"!

Step 3c: Now move your left fingertip one key to the right from the [A] key that you just pressed. This key is the [S] key. Press and release it, and "s" gets added to the right of the "wa" which is a short distance from the "I" from Step 1. So far, you should see "I was" with the flashing bar cursor just to the right of the newly-created "s"!

Step 3d is the same as Step 2c, namely, press the space bar. Again, the flashing bar cursor should move a short distance to the right, visibly separated from the "s."

Step 4a: Remember how I told you back in Step 3a that we'd need the [W] key again? Now's the time! If you forgot where it is, fear not: your left fingertip should still be hovering near the [S] key, and it's one row up and slightly to the left of that! Press and release it. You should now see a second "w" appear a short distance to the right of the "s" with a small space between them, and the flashing bar cursor now just to the right of the newly-created "w."

Step 4b: move your left fingertip not one, but two, keys to the right of the [W] key. It should now be hovering over the [R] key. Press and release it. You should now see an "r" appear just to the right of the "w", and the flashing bar cursor now just to the right of the newly-created "r."

Step 4c: If you haven't moved your right hand much since Step 2b, its index fingertip should still be hovering over or near the [I] key. The one that we want now is just to the right of that: the [O] key. If you lost track of that, you can find it easily by using the numbers trick: this key is just one row below the space between the [(9] and [)0] keys. You should know what to do by now: press and release it, and watch the "o" appear, with the bar cursor moving to just past it.

Step 4d: Now it gets a bit tricky. Move the right index fingertip not just one, but two, keys to the left, so that it's hovering over the [U] key. That's not the one we want to press, though: now, move the fingertip down not one, but two rows. It should now be hovering over the [N] key. Press and release it. "n" appears.

Step 4e: Back to the left index fingertip, which we last left in Step 4b hovering over the [R] key. Move it over one to the right so that it now hovers over the [T] key, then down one row so that it hovers over the [G] key. Press and release that. "g" appears.

Step 4f: Actually, your message as it exists now would be good enough for most FARKers, but just to satisfy the grammar Nazis, move the left fingertip (which should still be hovering over the [N] key) three keys to the right, so that it hovers over a key labeled [>.]. Press and release that.

Step 5: Click [ Add Comment ]. You shouldn't need to click the [ Preview ] button first, as there's no HTML in your short post.

There. That wasn't so hard, now, was it? Why do so few FARKers ever do this?

Bontesla: ToxicMunkee: We should let the unemployed die. It's their fault the rich job creators don't have jobs for them. Not bootstrappy enough.

Well, I think we could have paid for extended UI by raising taxes on income over 250k.

LEECHES. EVERYONE.

We'd be better off with zero taxes and to designate the United States as a giant OK Corral. And we'll eat the old and infirm. Because f*ck them, they've outlived their usefulness.

*finger guns pew pew pew*
We'll it looks like Boss Hogg finally has them Duke boys right where he wants them.

/dixiecarhorn.wav
We should let the unemployed die. It's their fault the rich job creators don't have jobs for them. Not bootstrappy enough.

BMulligan: Mrtraveler01: Zombalupagus: [i.imm.io image 600x800]

I hope you posted that ironically. Or else I'd have to say who ever made that is a farking idiot because:

1. It never considers the option that people in that much debt get a second job to bring in more revenue into that household.

2. The debt ceiling doesn't give us permission to spend more, it gives us permission to pay off the debt we already spent. Not raising the debt ceiling is the same as defaulting on our debt obligations. Or to use a retarded analogy like you did, it would be like ordering and eating dinner and dashing out on the check.

So the only thing shiatty is whoever made that steaming pile of crap thinking that they said something that was remotely intelligent.

The thing that scares me is that I saw this on Facebook the other day, posted by a friend of mine who is actually a Cambridge-trained professional economist!

But what was his field of study? There is a big difference between applied economics and home economics.

skullkrusher: Infernalist: NateGrey: Love the pic Drudge has. Looks like the Derpers are revolting.

I won't give drudge the click, so elaborate a bit on that for me, if you would. Is it just a pic, or actual info about the Tea Derper House GOP flipping out?

I just refreshed drudgereport.com 5 times to make up for your 1 not-click.
This is what I am going to do from now on anytime feels the need to announce that they won't click a particular site.

I refuse to click on the Lemon Party website.

PapaChester: I keep hearing about business owners whining about NEEDING to hire out of country to fill these roles. Shouldn't we be investing more in education to fill these jobs?

No, the real answer is to teach creationism and to rewrite the school curriculum to match it to their neoconservative wet dreams.

TheAgeOfEgos: @GroverNorquist
The Bush tax cuts lapsed at midnight last night. Every R voting for Senate bill is cutting taxes and keeping his/her pledge.

I bet he threw up in his mouth as he choked that out.

NateGrey: Love the pic Drudge has. Looks like the Derpers are revolting.

Well, yes, we know they are, but what are they doing politically?
My grandfather came back from WWII and bought a house for \$10.
My father bought a house for \$67 before he left for Korea, and when he came back he bought another one for \$55.
When I came back from Vietnam I bough a house bigger than all of theirs combined for \$29.
My son returned from the Gulf war and bought a house 1/3 the size of mine for \$789,000.
When the housing bubble burst, I bought a mansion for \$687, and sold it last June for \$8,956,000, which I used as a downpayment for an RV for \$9,851,000.
My granddaughter is an A-10 pilot, and her husband bought a house for \$398, and a pony for \$159,700.

What has happened to America?
See, the problem is:

Liberals watch shows like this:

Conservatives watch shows like this:

Any questions?

Zombalupagus: [i.imm.io image 600x800]

Oh, a house budget analogy, the bastion of the economically illiterate.

vartian: So, we just have to build a landing ramp on the other side?

[oi46.tinypic.com image 600x480]

Psshh. We got this.

There is...there's nothing about that photo I don't find awesome.
 1 vote:
That grinning Biden pic needs a caption: "We got 98% of what we asked for!"
 1 vote:

ricochet4: dave2198: Everyone go to your bunks, have a bout of angry masturbation...

is there any other kind?

The sad kind, where you use your tears as lubricant and cry yourself to sleep afterwards. Oh, you were asking if there was any other kind. I thought you were asking what's the best kind.
 1 vote:

bronyaur1: Zombalupagus: [i.imm.io image 600x800]

Unfortunately, there are ppl who actually believe that this silly little simpleton picture is relevant to the actual economics of the situation. For example, how many households owe their mortgage primarily to their own family members? How many families can, at will, increase their income with the stroke of a pen?

Mitt Romney. Checkmate.

/Snarkiness adds NOTHING to the conversation.
 1 vote:

Bisu: COMALite J:

oh, yeah, and a 91% Top Marginal Tax Rate also helped the Middle Class participate in that prosperity) enabled them to fulfill that admirable-on-the-face-of-it goal more than any generation prior to them.

Not quite. Middle/lower class pay relatively less today than they did in the 1950s:

The Fantasy of a 91% Top Income Tax Rate

Summing up the article, The rich paid too much along, and the middle class should shut up because their effective tax rate has reduced over the last 50 years, because Saint Reagan saved us all through deregulation and eliminating loopholes, which created the worlds most amazing economy. Ever.

(But we'll leave out the mini-recession in his first term, how Americans earn actually less than we did 40 years ago when adjusted for inflation, and the 12 times he raised taxes to try and plug the hole, because you know, communism. Or socialism. Whatever. Just blame Obama)
 1 vote:

How ironic that the outgoing lame duck Teabagger class of 2010, champions of Taxed Enough Already, are the ones voting "yes" on these tax increases.
 1 vote:
Pelosi has a pretty nice rack.
 1 vote:

cameroncrazy1984: cman: I am doing this because I dont want you to take a vacation. Your insight is too valuable on Fark for it to be taken.

sarcasm?

Doubtful. cman is the most casually ignorant person I've ever seen on this site.

/skullkrusher? Just a self-professed liar.
 1 vote:

Russ Feingold's Brass Balls: NIU is being utterly outclassed at the line of scrimmage on both sides of the ball. They gotta change the game.

Remember kids, never Fark on multiple tabs at once.
 1 vote:
Wow. This is the first time I've ever inadvertently caused a thread meltdown.

Apologies to all.

I will now go to bed and dream of a peaceful Capitol Hill, a peaceful Fark, and an evening with Anderson Cooper.

All three appear unlikely now.
 1 vote:

o5iiawah: Thing is, at this point Democrats dont really care about spending. They like spending. They've spent the past 5 or 6 years successfully convincing the public that the only reason the sun comes up in the morning is on account of government spending, stimulus and QE. When it fails, it could have been worse and thank God we had it because had we not, the whole earth would have split into two pieces.

They see debt as a good thing and despite every credit agency in the world announcing that the US may be unable to service its debt, they place the blame on the scant few who are actually fighting to lower the debt. When the Democrats have re-written the narrative to establish that debt, unsustainable spending and government stimulus is the best way to operate an economy, history be damned, then anyone who seeks to lower debt is automatically the enemy whether their plan works or not.

Alas.. a fountain of talking points.
 1 vote:

skullkrusher: cman: skullkrusher: cameroncrazy1984: skullkrusher: djkutch: skullkrusher: ariseatex: NBCWashington @nbcwashington
RT @NBCNews: RT @LukeRussert: GOP aides expect final votes at 11:30-11:45

Might as well finish my popcorn now. I'm not staying up that late.

you're never gonna see Anderson's Pooper if you go to bed that early

Stay closeted, my friend.

nah, if I were gay I'd be out by now.
My family is pretty tolerant about that sort of thing

Except for you, apparently.

except for me what, nitwit?

He's goading you. Cool yer jets

and what do you think I'm doing?

Calling me a nitwit isn't goading, It's insulting. And it isn't even a very good insult. It's an insult you can use in front of your grandma.
 1 vote:

utah dude: what would've happened under Romney in this same situation?

Romney would have had to win back in 2008 for the present situation to be any different.
 1 vote:

Infernalist: NateGrey: Love the pic Drudge has. Looks like the Derpers are revolting.

I won't give drudge the click, so elaborate a bit on that for me, if you would. Is it just a pic, or actual info about the Tea Derper House GOP flipping out?

It was a pic of Boner crying and some anti-Republican headlines. He just changed it to Obama laughing.

skullkrusher: Infernalist: NateGrey: Love the pic Drudge has. Looks like the Derpers are revolting.

I won't give drudge the click, so elaborate a bit on that for me, if you would. Is it just a pic, or actual info about the Tea Derper House GOP flipping out?

I just refreshed drudgereport.com 5 times to make up for your 1 not-click.
This is what I am going to do from now on anytime feels the need to announce that they won't click a particular site.

Look how mad the Derpers are getting. Oh no they worked out a deal. Anti-Obama nuts are fun to laugh at. More tears my potato counting friend.
 1 vote:
`Turns out it's more like a jump ramp than the start of a bridge`

Of course it is, subby. Government is inherently evil, and they're coming to steal your money.

RON PAUL!
 1 vote:

Infernalist: skullkrusher: Infernalist: NateGrey: Love the pic Drudge has. Looks like the Derpers are revolting.

I won't give drudge the click, so elaborate a bit on that for me, if you would. Is it just a pic, or actual info about the Tea Derper House GOP flipping out?

I just refreshed drudgereport.com 5 times to make up for your 1 not-click.
This is what I am going to do from now on anytime feels the need to announce that they won't click a particular site.

Did you click it extra hard? I bet you did.

hard and fast at first. Then I clicked slowly. Finished up with a few hard clicks at the end
 1 vote:

skullkrusher: Infernalist: NateGrey: Love the pic Drudge has. Looks like the Derpers are revolting.

I won't give drudge the click, so elaborate a bit on that for me, if you would. Is it just a pic, or actual info about the Tea Derper House GOP flipping out?

I just refreshed drudgereport.com 5 times to make up for your 1 not-click.
This is what I am going to do from now on anytime feels the need to announce that they won't click a particular site.

Did you click it extra hard? I bet you did.
 1 vote:

skullkrusher: djkutch: skullkrusher: ariseatex: NBCWashington @nbcwashington
RT @NBCNews: RT @LukeRussert: GOP aides expect final votes at 11:30-11:45

Might as well finish my popcorn now. I'm not staying up that late.

you're never gonna see Anderson's Pooper if you go to bed that early

Stay closeted, my friend.

nah, if I were gay I'd be out by now.
My family is pretty tolerant about that sort of thing

So, you're a Kennedy?
 1 vote:

ariseatex: skullkrusher: ariseatex: NBCWashington @nbcwashington
RT @NBCNews: RT @LukeRussert: GOP aides expect final votes at 11:30-11:45

Might as well finish my popcorn now. I'm not staying up that late.

you're never gonna see Anderson's Pooper if you go to bed that early

Given that I made that comment in comparison to another "nonzero probability" event that I thought would never happen (i.e., Boehner breaking the Hastert Rule) which now looks like what will happen, I'm thinking the odds of the Anderson Cooper threesome are about down to zero anyway.

I'm sorry to hear that. I am 100% straight and I think I might have sex with Anderson Cooper. He's a good looking dude.
 1 vote:

skullkrusher: ariseatex: NBCWashington @nbcwashington
RT @NBCNews: RT @LukeRussert: GOP aides expect final votes at 11:30-11:45

Might as well finish my popcorn now. I'm not staying up that late.

you're never gonna see Anderson's Pooper if you go to bed that early

Stay closeted, my friend.
 1 vote:
Republican rep Dreier just said climate change was a fact of life on CSPAN. I almost dropped my beer. I'm pretty sure he got voted out.
 1 vote:
I think I'm getting ill as the realization of how close the end of our country really is

 1 vote:

cman: Ok, I'm just gonna say my peace (piece?)

To be blunt, the left, the right, the ultra left, the ultra right, and lastly the Welsh, are all acting like a bunch of dicks in this thread.

Goading each other and playing the blame game wont get a deal passed. If you truly want to pass a deal then you should be serious about the situation.

Stop the "0bummer" jokes, and keep off with the "OMG WE THE VICTIMZ HEEAR". You are no victim.

I thought I was screwing around on a not very serious website to kill time. Apparently, I'm a member of Congress. Who knew?
 1 vote:

cman: Ok, I'm just gonna say my peace (piece?)

To be blunt, the left, the right, the ultra left, the ultra right, and lastly the Welsh, are all acting like a bunch of dicks in this thread.

Goading each other and playing the blame game wont get a deal passed. If you truly want to pass a deal then you should be serious about the situation.

Stop the "0bummer" jokes, and keep off with the "OMG WE THE VICTIMZ HEEAR". You are no victim.

And that goes for everyone

So if we all just come together in this thread, the whole budget debate thing in DC will be resolved?
 1 vote:

COMALite J: Hey, Zombalupagus, you seem to have need some help with the situation you find yourself in here. Believe it or not, there is a way to save face and redeem your credibility! Since you apparently don't know how, I'll give you complete, step-by-step instructions:
i>

Wow, you devote a lot of energy to your hostility.

 1 vote:

 1 vote:

skullkrusher: GAT_00: And we can't do it when people like you claim to care, yet oppose any and all tax raises. You think that somehow we can cut all this spending to fix the deficit when the deficit is mostly caused by tax cuts.

I am not opposed to all tax increases. I am opposed to all tax increases based "on principle", however.

That principle apparantly being any tax increase at all.
 1 vote:

GAT_00: And we can't do it when people like you claim to care, yet oppose any and all tax raises. You think that somehow we can cut all this spending to fix the deficit when the deficit is mostly caused by tax cuts.

I am not opposed to all tax increases. I am opposed to all tax increases based "on principle", however.
 1 vote:

skullkrusher: cretinbob: skullkrusher: removing the zeros does help put it in perspective.

If your brain can't comprehend that many zeroes, you should sit down, be quiet and let the big kids talk.

this was one of those "wow this sounds awesome in my head but I sure am gonna look like a farking fool when I put pen to paper" situations

It's all right. Always remember, when people don't smack you upside the head when you say something dumb, they aren't paying attention to you and don't want you to do better.

Also, I have crabs in my pants
 1 vote:

cretinbob: skullkrusher: removing the zeros does help put it in perspective.

If your brain can't comprehend that many zeroes, you should sit down, be quiet and let the big kids talk.

this was one of those "wow this sounds awesome in my head but I sure am gonna look like a farking fool when I put pen to paper" situations
 1 vote:

IamKaiserSoze!!!: cameroncrazy1984: IamKaiserSoze!!!: OK, the senate just passed a bill that will increase annual taxes by \$65 billion against an annual deficit of over \$1 trillion.

There's your great progressive victory. Now where's the rest come from?

I hope to hell the House vetoes or significantly amends that piece of crap and gets to work on a comprehensive solution. Better yet I would like to see the House pass a Simpson-Bowles type bill and send it back to the Senate. This shiat has to stop.

Hahahahaha, you're so cute.

thank you.

and you're so young and naïve, but eventually you'll understand.

If someone older than you says that to you do you admit you are wrong and change your mind?
 1 vote:

eiger: sprawl15: eiger: Mrtraveler01: Zombalupagus: [i.imm.io image 600x800]

I hope you posted that ironically. Or else I'd have to say who ever made that is a farking idiot because:

1. It never considers the option that people in that much debt get a second job to bring in more revenue into that household.

2. The debt ceiling doesn't give us permission to spend more, it gives us permission to pay off the debt we already spent. Not raising the debt ceiling is the same as defaulting on our debt obligations. Or to use a retarded analogy like you did, it would be like ordering and eating dinner and dashing out on the check.

So the only thing shiatty is whoever made that steaming pile of crap thinking that they said something that was remotely intelligent.

It also ignores the fact that the US government can print money. I'm not aware of any household that can (legally) do that.

which is like discovering your house is full to the top with shiat and deciding the best solution is putting a garden hose in a window and pumping in water

Please. It's far more complicated than that. Still, obviously printing money to pay the debt is far from the best solution, but it does show how the nation's economy and a household are completely different beasts.

of coarse - an economy is not a literal object and cannot fill with fecal matter

but the debt certainly puts the anal in that analogy
 1 vote:

Zombalupagus: [i.imm.io image 600x800]

You posted something stupid, and you should feel bad.
 1 vote:

eiger: Zombalupagus: [i.imm.io image 600x800]

Oh, a house budget analogy, the bastion of the economically illiterate.

Hey, this one uses poop to explain the accounting.
 1 vote:

Zombalupagus: [i.imm.io image 600x800]

I hope you posted that ironically. Or else I'd have to say who ever made that is a farking idiot because:

1. It never considers the option that people in that much debt get a second job to bring in more revenue into that household.

2. The debt ceiling doesn't give us permission to spend more, it gives us permission to pay off the debt we already spent. Not raising the debt ceiling is the same as defaulting on our debt obligations. Or to use a retarded analogy like you did, it would be like ordering and eating dinner and dashing out on the check.

So the only thing shiatty is whoever made that steaming pile of crap thinking that they said something that was remotely intelligent.
 1 vote:

kxs401: How did the self-titled "greatest" generation raise the greediest, most sociopathic generation.

study it out from there
 1 vote:
I make so little that the only difference I'd have noticed was getting half the child tax credit I normally get,  which I wouldn't have realy noticed since we had another child last year anyhow.
 1 vote:

ToxicMunkee: We should let the unemployed die. It's their fault the rich job creators don't have jobs for them. Not bootstrappy enough.

Real American's borrow a few million dollars from their family and start their own businesses.
 1 vote:
So, we just have to build a landing ramp on the other side?

Psshh. We got this.

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