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(Herald Online)   College students research on turtles takes a "dark twist". Turns out that people like to run over them   ( heraldonline.com) divider line
    More: Sick, Clemson, students  
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7552 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Dec 2012 at 11:37 AM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2012-12-27 11:58:40 AM  
8 votes:

adammpower: hopefully these people are later hit by cars and have just enough time to think about it before impact.

Hope springs a turtle...
2012-12-27 11:44:28 AM  
5 votes:
I blame violent videogames. Mario conditions you to hit turtles.
2012-12-27 01:49:00 PM  
4 votes:

pxlboy: This is now a cute baby turtle thread:

[www.tehcute.com image 636x479]

i.canvasugc.comView Full Size
2012-12-27 11:54:31 AM  
4 votes:
maniacworld.comView Full Size
2012-12-27 11:54:06 AM  
4 votes:
I've picked more than one turtle out of the road; I feel bad for them, especially since so many people are focused on just about anything BUT driving, and the road in front of them these days.

CSB: Couple months ago, was driving on a side road in a residential area and saw one on the white stop line at an intersection. There was nobody behind me, so I stopped, got out, and picked up the turtle. I then saw that it had already been run over and its shell was smashed. In this short time period, a brand new 7-Series had pulled up behind me at the stop sign. As I'm walking to the side of the road to set the turtle corpse down (hopefully some animal will eat it), the guy in the BMW double taps his horn. I give him an "are you kidding?" look, and point to the turtle and keep walking over to the shoulder. Seeing this, he FURIOUSLY leans on his horn. I stop, look at him, shrug, and set the turtle corpse on his hood. He was still hollering out of his window at me as I drove away.

/I drive a BMW now too
//it's not an excuse to act like/drive like/be an asshole
2012-12-27 11:45:16 AM  
4 votes:
I like turtles.
2012-12-27 11:41:32 AM  
4 votes:
Time to put down a rubber turtle with road spikes.
2012-12-27 03:31:11 PM  
3 votes:
Ha! Jokes on them! These ignorant,sadistic assholes dont know that the universe, as we know it, rests on top of turtles. It's nothing but turtles all the down YOU FOOLS!
2012-12-27 12:31:18 PM  
3 votes:

doglover: Gunther: doglover: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Maybe not everyone, but certainly a lot of them it would seem

No, I mean everyone knows humans are sadistic.

Going by the article, one in fifty humans is sadistic, or at least; sadistic enough to try to kill a harmless animal for no reason and no possible benefit to themselves. Which admittedly is pretty goddamn sadistic.

Going by experience it's more like 50/50 humans are sadistic at some point.

I cried, CRIED when I accidentally a ladybug into a spiderweb and it got killed.

Then I turn around not a week latter and watch a Japanese suzumebachi ( lit sparrow wasp, 6" long) eat the babies out of a normal sized wasp nest and think it's hilarious.

I don't kill turtles myself, but the contrariness is that I'd smile if one of the turtle killers was in turn run over by a car and died.

We're all just chimp at heart, us humans.

CSB- I worked in security for a small liberal arts college. In addition to the dangerous activity of unlocking doors and walking through buildings, we also remove wild animals from the community and take them back to "the wild" (usually the lake about 10 min. away). So one day we find a gosling on the patio of one of the residential buildings. There is a crowd of students around the thing, just watching it and keeping it from waddling into the sewer grate. When we arrived there were something like 30 or 40 kids in the patio area some watching most just hanging around to see what would happen. At this point some girl walks by and says, "I don't get it, it's just a bird, someone should just kill it and be done with it." I don't know what appalled me more what she said or how good I felt when someone in the crowd (they remain at large) nailed the biatch in the head with an un-opened coke can. biatch went down like a sack of potatoes. Looked like it hurt.....
2012-12-27 10:16:41 AM  
3 votes:
You've been warned, Senator McConnell.
2012-12-27 11:49:41 AM  
2 votes:
i184.photobucket.comView Full Size
2012-12-28 07:32:04 AM  
1 vote:

doglover: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Maybe not everyone, but certainly a lot of them it would seem

No, I mean everyone knows humans are sadistic.

I admit I constantly struggle with the urges to string up rapists by their pleasure bits and do a Dexter on murdering mother farkers, but I reconcile these urges with Ecclesiastes 3:1.
2012-12-27 08:59:59 PM  
1 vote:
Growing up I have vivid memories of my father pulling off the road in Kansas and moving turtles off the road to the grass. Rescuing turtles was just something he always did.

/he drew the line at a 40 pound snapping turtle
//and called the zoo about it
2012-12-27 03:37:26 PM  
1 vote:

snocone: TheOther: I have stopped and moved migrating turtles out of the road in the direction they were going. I have seen the same damn turtle crawl back into the road, going in the opposite direction. Hormone-crazed turtles baffle me, so I try not to interfere, now.

/the horny tarantula migrations are more fun

Dookin' for dove.Wookin' Pa Nub FTFY


/unless I'm just an old fart and Dooken for dove is a new thing
2012-12-27 02:53:07 PM  
1 vote:
Seems like some sort of turtle-shaped mines might be in order. Once the news spreads--problem solved.Well, assuming the people who run over turtles actually watch or read news, that is. I suspect you might have to put one on the road to Springer's or Povich's houses before the turtle murdering crowd takes notice. (But then you get the added bonus of possibly taking out two birds with one stone.)
2012-12-27 01:54:06 PM  
1 vote:
"I realize now why the universe, as the astronomers have discovered, is receding from us at all directions at near the speed of light. Why? Red shift? No! Because of fear that's why. We are the plague of the cosmos. The stars are not merely flying away, they are fleeing away, tripping away on little starfeet at a hundred and eighty thousand miles per second, running for their lives."
-Edward Abbey
2012-12-27 01:29:41 PM  
1 vote:

Rawhead Rex: Squirrels...

Now those guys are a challenge!

Turtles seem very easy...no less fun, I'd imagine, but certainly not the thrill you get from running over a fleet-footed rodent!

Get over yourselves, assholes...
It's human nature to kill things...didn't you flood antbeads with water as a kid, use a magnifying glass on whatever stupid insect you found? Pulled the wings off butterflies, ripped the shells off rolly pollys?
Oh...but one of my favorties was to catch a frog and tie a string to one of his legs...
Then stake it into the ground right next to an active antbed.
Disturb the ants...
And let the entertainment begin!
Ants HATE bouncy shackled frogs all panicking over their bed.

Nice memories.

Serial Killer-like typing detected.
2012-12-27 01:21:37 PM  
1 vote:
Yeah, if you haven't developed past the "killin' stuff for no reason is fun" stage by the time you're old enough to drive, you have some serious issues that I'd like you to not inflict on society. Please either get help or consider suicide.
2012-12-27 01:10:33 PM  
1 vote:
I'm running along inside a golf club community in Florida with the toons rocking and some raisinette on a bicycle comes up behind me and stops me (and scares the crap out of me in the process) and tells me that I MUST go back and around the corner to help some turtle cross the road. So I do. Big f*cker, shell about a foot across, seems to have made it half way up the curb. So i pick up the little sh*t who is flapping his (her?) feet wildly and is clearly trying to bite me and put it on the grass past the curb. Granny is all pleased with herself. Turtle probably would have made it anyway (ponds on either side of the road, so I assume this wasn't the turtle's first inter-pond rodeo).

/csb, no point to the story
//once granny was out of sight I shot the turtle with my assault rifle. multiple times. ungrateful bast*ard.
2012-12-27 12:59:57 PM  
1 vote:
Even as a sadistic psychopath and a mid-level jerk, I cannot see why anyone would intentionally run over a turtle. They have all sorts of hard parts which could puncture a tire or break a bumper, not to mention the creme filling which will smell fantastic smeared across the undercarriage of your car.

On top of that, try explaining to a cop why you swerved out of your lane to run over the thing. He'd probably taser you until your clothes caught on fire. And you'd deserve it.
2012-12-27 12:08:38 PM  
1 vote:
You just need to equip all turtles like this.

images3.wikia.nocookie.netView Full Size
2012-12-27 12:01:30 PM  
1 vote:

BoboRod: Squirrels yes.  Turtles, no.  Armadillos, meh.

Read that as armadillos meth and went down a strange path of wondering wtf a dillo on meth would be like.
2012-12-27 12:01:00 PM  
1 vote:
I dont swerve for animals in most cases, for safety and evolution.
2012-12-27 11:51:21 AM  
1 vote:
If only these turtles had masks and nunchucks they could fight back, and perhaps one day defeat the evil Master Shredder.
2012-12-27 11:44:12 AM  
1 vote:
i.imgur.comView Full Size
2012-12-27 10:45:46 AM  
1 vote:

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Ah... found it link

/different study, same result
//humans are sadistic
///who knew?

You're like the Repeat Enforcer today!
2012-12-27 10:36:46 AM  
1 vote:
Ah... found it link

/different study, same result
//humans are sadistic
///who knew?
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2012-12-27 09:56:18 AM  
1 vote:
Worked fine for me. It's on the wire so searching clemson+turtle will find you other copies.

And I already knew this. Should have put a nail in the turtle.
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