FARK.com: (7498768) An iPad user's review of the Microsoft Surface Tablet...you know what's coming, right?

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		An iPad user's review of the Microsoft Surface Tablet...you know what's coming, right? ( betanews.com)		94
		More: Amusing, Microsoft Surface, iPads, Microsoft, Windows Store, Windows Explorer, screen resolution, software portability, Microsoft Word

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9698 clicks; posted to Geek » on 21 Dec 2012 at 6:00 PM (5 years ago) | Favorite | share:

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LasersHurt

2012-12-21 03:21:21 PM

Overall it was a fine review, but the "It's heavier (it's not heavier)" "It's fat (it's not fatter)" writing style made me want to slap the shiat out of the writer.

duffblue

2012-12-21 03:22:23 PM

Who reviews a shopping experience? Somebody should send him a link for Amazon.

Sybarite

2012-12-21 03:36:50 PM

It is a great tablet...

BKITU

2012-12-21 03:38:45 PM

LasersHurt: Overall it was a fine review, but the "It's heavier (it's not heavier)" "It's fat (it's not fatter)" writing style made me want to slap the shiat out of the writer.

Seriously, this. It's truthiness applied to gadgetry. "I feel in my gut that Apple products are thinner and lighter, so anything non-Apple must therefore be fatter and heavier, no matter what the actual specs are." I gave up on TFA after the weight issue.

Mr. Fuzzypaws

2012-12-21 03:39:59 PM

I'll review my shopping experience when I got my iPad mini.

Go to store.
Clerk: Can I help you?
Me: I'd like an iPad mini.
Clerk: OK.
An exchange of cash happened.
Me: Thanks!

Four out of Five Stars. It was cold and rainy that day.

cameroncrazy1984

2012-12-21 03:44:13 PM

BKITU: LasersHurt: Overall it was a fine review, but the "It's heavier (it's not heavier)" "It's fat (it's not fatter)" writing style made me want to slap the shiat out of the writer.

Seriously, this. It's truthiness applied to gadgetry. "I feel in my gut that Apple products are thinner and lighter, so anything non-Apple must therefore be fatter and heavier, no matter what the actual specs are." I gave up on TFA after the weight issue.

It actually got better after that.

Pocket Ninja

2012-12-21 04:40:05 PM

cameroncrazy1984: It actually got better after that.

I ended up reading that whole thing just because I really wanted to say "no, it didn't," and mean it. But you're right, it actually did. And as someone who's in the market for a tablet, it's actually making me think a little bit.

Although he still deserves a stern rap on the knuckles for the first couple of paragraphs. Not the flogging he might have earned had he continued that style, but enough to let him know it was noticed and not appreciated.

gingerjet

2012-12-21 06:13:07 PM

Mr. Fuzzypaws: I'll review my shopping experience when I got my iPad mini.

Go to store.
Clerk: Can I help you?
Me: I'd like an iPad mini.
Clerk: OK.
An exchange of cash happened.
Me: Thanks!

Four out of Five Stars. It was cold and rainy that day.

Compared to a Radio Shack:
Clerk: Can I help you?
Me: I need a 3' HDMI cable.
Clerk: Ok. Would you like the extended warranty?
Me: Its a 6 dollar cable.
Clerk: Things happen to cables. A dog can chew on it ...
Me: No.
Clerk: Wouldn't you like the piece of mind ...
Me: No.
Clerk: Ok - do you need anything else such as a ...
Me: No.
[an exchange of cash happens]
Clerk: Have a nice ...
Me: Go fark yourself

gingerjet

2012-12-21 06:18:43 PM

FTFA being able to use a full version of Microsoft Word 2013 in Surface is a major plus.

Being able to have access to it could well be considered a plus but it isn't that usable on a surface. At least in its current form. Microsoft could well be served by releasing an limited tablet optimized version of Office that didn't include the features that 95% of their customers never use. Which is the vast majority of them.

stewbert

2012-12-21 06:20:35 PM

gingerjet: Mr. Fuzzypaws: I'll review my shopping experience when I got my iPad mini.

Go to store.
Clerk: Can I help you?
Me: I'd like an iPad mini.
Clerk: OK.
An exchange of cash happened.
Me: Thanks!

Four out of Five Stars. It was cold and rainy that day.

Compared to a Radio Shack:
Clerk: Can I help you?
Me: I need a 3' HDMI cable.
Clerk: Ok. Would you like the extended warranty?
Me: Its a 6 dollar cable.
Clerk: Things happen to cables. A dog can chew on it ...
Me: No.
Clerk: Wouldn't you like the piece of mind ...
Me: No.
Clerk: Ok - do you need anything else such as a ...
Me: No.
[an exchange of cash happens]
Clerk: Have a nice ...
Me: Go fark yourself

You forgot:
Clerk: Can I get your address?
You: Huh? I'm paying with cash.
Clerk: We have to get an address.
You: Why do you need an address for a cash payment?
Clerk: It helps out with returns.
You: Isn't that what the receipt is for?
Clerk: Well, I just need to get your address
You: Arrrgh. fark this, I'm out
You: (typing) www.monoprice.com

smartaleq

2012-12-21 06:22:28 PM

[ 1 star out of 5 ]
I give this cable a one out of 5. It was too short to connect to my TV, and while it was sitting on the floor my dog chewed on it and now it doesn't work. When I tried to return it to Radio Shack they told me that dog chewing isn't considered a manufacturing defect. WTF IF YOU MANUFRACTURED IT BETTER IT WOULDN'T BE BROKEN. I'm gonna email consumerist about it now.
- smartaleq

lordargent

2012-12-21 06:24:01 PM

gingerjet:
Compared to a Radio Shack:
Clerk: Can I help you?
Me: I need a 3' HDMI cable.

Compared to monoprice.
Do you believe in telnet above?
Do you believe in plugs?
Don't post a lie. Don't be FALSE or !TRUE.
It all routes back to you.

Open firewall, oh my burning ports.
I've never been lucky in love.
My defenses are down. A ping and a frown.
I can't set up jive on my own.

If a nerd walks in and pastes her name on my chart, I'll turn and run away.
Everyday we've all been lead astray.
It's hard to be lucky in love.

It gets in your eyes, It's making you cry.
Don't know what to do? Don't know what to do?
You're lookin for love, callin telnet above.

Send me an cable. Send me an cable.
Right now. Right now.
Send me an cable. Send me an cable.
Right now. Right now.

Mr. Fuzzypaws

2012-12-21 06:31:32 PM

stewbert: You forgot:
Clerk: Can I get your address?
You: Huh? I'm paying with cash.
Clerk: We have to get an address.
You: Why do you need an address for a cash payment?
Clerk: It helps out with returns.
You: Isn't that what the receipt is for?
Clerk: Well, I just need to get your address
You: Arrrgh. fark this, I'm out
You: (typing) www.monoprice.com

But monoprice would want his address!?!

davidphogan

2012-12-21 06:37:54 PM

It became a pretty solid review after that. I think he was trying to show his bias early cause it basically built up to an "I was wrong" by the end.

Boudica's War Tampon

2012-12-21 06:40:42 PM

Hooker: You want to have some fun tonight?
Me: Sure. How much do you charge for oral?
Hooker: You're under arrest for solicitation.

wax_on

2012-12-21 06:48:43 PM

I read the review as "The hardware is a piece of shiat. But I liked that the OS is familiar so it's easy to use and works seamlessly with my other PCs."

drjekel_mrhyde

2012-12-21 06:54:48 PM

But Farkers say it's bad

stewbert

2012-12-21 06:56:19 PM

Mr. Fuzzypaws: stewbert: You forgot:
Clerk: Can I get your address?
You: Huh? I'm paying with cash.
Clerk: We have to get an address.
You: Why do you need an address for a cash payment?
Clerk: It helps out with returns.
You: Isn't that what the receipt is for?
Clerk: Well, I just need to get your address
You: Arrrgh. fark this, I'm out
You: (typing) www.monoprice.com

But monoprice would want his address!?!

See, it's not creepy and annoying when there's a reasonable explanation for asking.

Babwa Wawa

2012-12-21 06:59:58 PM

So let's see. It's bulky, but no thicker than an iPad, and it's too heavy but no heavier than an iPad.

Got it.

/yes I read the whole article and know that it was a positive review.

Kuroshin

2012-12-21 07:00:24 PM

DNRFA

It's terrible?

RTFA

Huh. Well I'll be dipped.

Can't say it's my cup-o'-tea, but I guess it's not bad, even by comparison. Still won't consider anything Surface-related until the Surface Pro comes out.

rocky_howard

2012-12-21 07:04:06 PM

FTFA: Holding Surface for the first time, I was struck by its weight. Compared to the iPad it feels very heavy, particularly when held in landscape mode. Which is odd, seeing as there's no major difference between them -- the iPad weighs 1.44lbs and Surface is 1.46lbs.

I see the Reality Distortion Field is now installed in every iDevice. So they weight the same but the Surface "feels heavier"?

Just stop posting silly iDrone...

Krieghund

2012-12-21 07:07:44 PM

One big niggle I encountered early on with the device

That's racist!

Also an oxymoron.

Flappyhead

2012-12-21 07:15:45 PM

A patent lawsuit?

BullBearMS

2012-12-21 07:37:48 PM

spawn73

2012-12-21 07:39:56 PM

LasersHurt: Overall it was a fine review, but the "It's heavier (it's not heavier)" "It's fat (it's not fatter)" writing style made me want to slap the shiat out of the writer.

Yeah, I stopped reading when he said it fatter and bulkier than the iPad (although it's actually not thicker).

What the fark.

dickfreckle

2012-12-21 07:44:34 PM

gingerjet: Compared to a Radio Shack:
Clerk: Can I help you?
Me: I need a 3' HDMI cable.
Clerk: Ok. Would you like the extended warranty?
Me: Its a 6 dollar cable.
Clerk: Things happen to cables. A dog can chew on it ...
Me: No.
Clerk: Wouldn't you like the piece of mind ...
Me: No.
Clerk: Ok - do you need anything else such as a ...
Me: No.
[an exchange of cash happens]
Clerk: Have a nice ...
Me: Go fark yourself

You forgot the demand of a phone number (it used to just be a zip code). I was at "The Shack" last week for something stupid that I needed right thenand not when Amazon got around to it, and the girl behind the counter asks for phone number.

Now, when you're as intolerably handsome and charming as I am, one is accustomed to being requested of personal information. But something was off. WTF does Radio Shack want with my mobile#?, and why the fark would I give it to them? Anyway, it was irritating. Just give shut up and take my money, already.

Ess_Aytch

2012-12-21 07:48:28 PM

gingerjet: Microsoft could well be served by releasing an limited tablet optimized version of Office that didn't include the features that 95% of their customers never use. Which is the vast majority of them.

OriginalGamer

2012-12-21 08:05:25 PM

The Surface isn't necessarily bad, but the hardware isn't quite as good as the current iPad, and the screen really could use a resolution bump.

I've also heard there are a few odd UI quirks (screen rotation taking too long, etc).

I wouldn't be a buyer in the current generation, but a 2nd gen Surface might be worth looking at assuming Microsoft can get its act together in the developer support department.

bhcompy

2012-12-21 08:16:52 PM

Metro a good mobile UI. I like it more than Android or iOS. It's very slick, minimalist, and usable, and allows for things like shortcuts, unlike vanilla iOS, and live tiles are pretty useful.

There are problems, though.
-The OS seems to not allow a great deal of things other mobile OSes allow developers to do, at least without making it feel like it's a hacked together piece of crap(the Slacker application is a classic example of this).
-IE has limits.. name/id references don't work, which is a pain in the ass on Fark(#new doesn't work), and there aren't really any browser competitors unlike Android where you can run something like Dolphin
-WM6 had way more functionality. Fark walled gardens.

the opposite of charity is justice

2012-12-21 08:18:37 PM

Surface isn't, it has to be said, a particularly attractive tablet. It lacks the aesthetics of the iPad. It's fat and bulky (although it's actually no thicker than the iPad

I am shocked, SHOCKED, that an apple user starts the review of a tech device by focusing on its looks.

As shallow as that is, the reviewer even gets that bit wrong by complaining it feels fat but has the same thickness, feels heavier but has the same weight.

traylor

2012-12-21 08:19:05 PM

He fixes the wireless?

Oakenshield

2012-12-21 08:22:46 PM

Even-handed and fair, considering Surface is an unholy festering bile duct powered by software Nintendo would be proud of.

redmid17

2012-12-21 08:31:30 PM

dickfreckle: gingerjet: Compared to a Radio Shack:
Clerk: Can I help you?
Me: I need a 3' HDMI cable.
Clerk: Ok. Would you like the extended warranty?
Me: Its a 6 dollar cable.
Clerk: Things happen to cables. A dog can chew on it ...
Me: No.
Clerk: Wouldn't you like the piece of mind ...
Me: No.
Clerk: Ok - do you need anything else such as a ...
Me: No.
[an exchange of cash happens]
Clerk: Have a nice ...
Me: Go fark yourself

You forgot the demand of a phone number (it used to just be a zip code). I was at "The Shack" last week for something stupid that I needed right thenand not when Amazon got around to it, and the girl behind the counter asks for phone number.

Now, when you're as intolerably handsome and charming as I am, one is accustomed to being requested of personal information. But something was off. WTF does Radio Shack want with my mobile#?, and why the fark would I give it to them? Anyway, it was irritating. Just give shut up and take my money, already.

I've only done it in a few stores, but I used to give out the mayor's action line as my phone number.

WhippingBoy

2012-12-21 08:38:40 PM

Mr. Fuzzypaws: Go to store.
Clerk: Can I help you?
Me: I'd like an iPad mini.
Clerk: OK.
An exchange of cash happened.
Me: Thanks!

Go to store.
Clerk: Sir, if you don't stop masturbating, I'm going to call the police
Leave store.

/sigh

HempHead

2012-12-21 08:46:20 PM

I would be interested to see how MS Excel works on a touch screen.

Tanukis_Parachute

2012-12-21 08:48:21 PM

I just got an iPad today so I am getting a kick out of something.

Got it by using some airline miles on an airline that I won't be using for the next three years...plus the miles were about to expire.

Gonna use it to study for some advanced certifications. A lot better than lugging books and other materials around.

Xai

2012-12-21 08:53:45 PM

I love my surface.

RexTalionis

2012-12-21 09:19:27 PM

HempHead: I would be interested to see how MS Excel works on a touch screen.

You know, there are keyboards for that.

Mad_Radhu

2012-12-21 09:30:24 PM

bhcompy: Metro a good mobile UI. I like it more than Android or iOS. It's very slick, minimalist, and usable, and allows for things like shortcuts, unlike vanilla iOS, and live tiles are pretty useful.

There are problems, though.
-The OS seems to not allow a great deal of things other mobile OSes allow developers to do, at least without making it feel like it's a hacked together piece of crap(the Slacker application is a classic example of this).
-IE has limits.. name/id references don't work, which is a pain in the ass on Fark(#new doesn't work), and there aren't really any browser competitors unlike Android where you can run something like Dolphin
-WM6 had way more functionality. Fark walled gardens.

The Surface doesn't really run Metro, or at least the Windows Phone version of it. Instead, it has a Metro-ish runtime in the place of the Start Menu, with a standard desktop underneath, so when browsing the web on the Surface it's basically like you are running a VM on top of a Windows istall running on a Tegra 3, and then running IE10 inside of that VM. It's not exactly the smoothest experience.

I think it would have been much better if Windows RT was fully Metro and based off Windows Phone, with Desktop experience it all. It just makes it an OS with multiple personality disorder, especially when you are switching between non-Metro Office and Metro apps.

Dragonflew

2012-12-21 09:39:04 PM

the opposite of charity is justice: Surface isn't, it has to be said, a particularly attractive tablet. It lacks the aesthetics of the iPad. It's fat and bulky (although it's actually no thicker than the iPad

I am shocked, SHOCKED, that an apple user starts the review of a tech device by focusing on its looks.

As shallow as that is, the reviewer even gets that bit wrong by complaining it feels fat but has the same thickness, feels heavier but has the same weight.

I didn't understand the part about the aesthetics either. Both are flat, rectangular, have a glossy screen, and a button. From the front, they look almost the same. Tablets are not "sexy", they are a flat hunk of plastic and glass that all look pretty much identical.

T-Boy

2012-12-21 10:42:36 PM

Actually, what Microsoft is doing makes sense to me. They are working to nifty the OS of all devices, from phone to tablet to desktop, so that apps will run on everything. That is what Windows 8 is all about. If they can get it to really work, they should be able to sell hardware in the tablet and phone market. The software disconnect between Apple's portable devices and their computers annoys the hell out of me.

T-Boy

2012-12-21 10:43:57 PM

I meant "working to unify the OS . . ."

FormlessOne

2012-12-21 10:49:14 PM

Sounds about right, actually. I tend to lean towards the Surface, personally, but I didn't find anything particularly egregious about the review's details other than the writing style of the author.

Ed Finnerty

2012-12-21 11:19:26 PM

RexTalionis: HempHead: I would be interested to see how MS Excel works on a touch screen.

You know, there are keyboards for that.

I wonder if it's possible to set gestures for formulas. That would be pretty cool.

ryarger

2012-12-21 11:23:19 PM

I have never held a Surface so I do not know how it feels; however your comment is not what the author said. He said that the Surface *felt* heavier yet it was not.

Try this experiment:
* Pick up a full milk jug (total weight, 8lbs)
* Now pick up that same milk jug using a 1oz, 3ft aluminum rod through the handle. Hold the rod at one end and hold the jug at the other. Total weight: 8lbs, 1oz.

Nearly the same weight. Does one feel heavier?

Sometimes I try to hold my iPad (1st gen) like I'd read a book: portrait position, bottom edge resting on the palm of one hand with the fingers behind for support and the thumb in front for balance.

It's rather uncomfortable and never works for long.

Balancing the weight of tablet devices so that they *feel* light in the most common use cases will be a major area of industrial design in the next few years.

eltejon

2012-12-21 11:43:26 PM

A good article actually, but doesn't sway me either way- nor out of android.

I was surprised, based on his opening paragraphs, that he didn't include the unboxing experience so many apple fans seem to gush about.

Phil Moskowitz

2012-12-21 11:51:00 PM

It's cute watching him figure out that IProducts are just toys, however.

sendtodave

2012-12-21 11:56:02 PM

you know what's coming, right?

The science?

Poop... out?

Christmas?

Z-clipped

2012-12-22 12:43:58 AM

ryarger: Sometimes I try to hold my iPad (1st gen) like I'd read a book: portrait position, bottom edge resting on the palm of one hand with the fingers behind for support and the thumb in front for balance.

It's rather uncomfortable and never works for long.

Balancing the weight of tablet devices so that they *feel* light in the most common use cases will be a major area of industrial design in the next few years.

It's not complicated. Unless you're designing a tablet that's only meant to be held on two of the four sides, you just put the center of gravity as close to the center of the device as you can. The width of the bezel is actually much more important IMO. My GTab 7+ has just enough dead space around the screen that I can comfortably hold it like a book in portrait mode (thumb on front, fingers behind) when I'm reading without accidentally touching the active surface. This is impossible with the iPad mini, and uncomfortable with a full sized iPad.

Personally, I think 10" is way too big for a tablet. 7" fits in a pocket, is easier to hold, is useable as a phone, and I can read web pages and watch videos just fine. If I wanted something big enough that I have to have a bag to put it in, I'd just carry a small laptop. I don't even like using the on-screen keyboard in landscape mode on my 7" device, let alone on a 10". You have to stretch your thumbs way too far to reach the keys, or put the whole thing down.

HempHead

2012-12-22 12:53:14 AM

RexTalionis: HempHead: I would be interested to see how MS Excel works on a touch screen.

You know, there are keyboards for that.

But no mouse. :>\

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