THX 1138: I used to have three cats with a grand total of ten legs and two tails between them.

Now I have one cat with 26 toes.

Must be one fat cat after eating three cats with ten legs and two tails.

Freaks are just God's way of reminding us who's in charge and what he can do to us if he gets grumpy.

Most of the world's religions have a little-used clause that says that the mentally or physically challenged are created by God to give us a chance to be humble, wise and kind, and to give until it hurts (us), and that he especially loves and protects them (and the poor). One of the things I like about Roman Catholics is that a lot of them have old legends and myths of this sort and live by them. Along with the stupid legends and myths, of course, but you can't win them all. A Church that puts helping the poor above hate is OK in my book. My Book includes Ezekiel 16:46-49.

In the short story "Sports" which was the inspiration for the Tod Browning movie Freaks (1933), the circus freaks have a close knit and mutually supportive community which is despised by the beautiful trapese artist, Cleopatra, and the strong man, Hercules. But who turns out to be the real Freaks, eh? Who are the real freaks?

Those who can't bear to hear the chant "One of us! One of us! One of us!"

I read the short story in a book entitled No, but I saw the Movie, which consisted of the original stories behind a number of famous movies including The Fly (also written by a French writer).

Both of these short stories are fairly well-written and worth reading. I also recommend the movie, Freaks, because 1) it is a classic; 2) it is weird and wonderful; 3) it stars real circus freaks who are quite fascinating people; and 4) it teaches a lesson of tolerance, kindness and love.

The "shock ending" got it banned for much of the 1940s, 50s, etc. It has become a cult classic and is readily available in stores now that America's love affair with Freak Shows has switched from dying circuses to Fox reality TV and the web.

I saw an albino Afro-Canadian while I was shopping recently. I have seen him before. There are a number of people with such genetic quirks around here. He is one of the luckiest because in Africa albinos are murdered for body parts to be used in black magic by people seeking wealth and power. I'm OK with the death penalty in such unusual cases.

And Fark Conservatives say Liberals never criticize other cultures and religions.

Hang the lot of them, the superstitious rat finks! ("Conservative" enough for you?)

Our own ancestors were thinking exactly the same way not too long ago.

I have ancestors who were hanged as witches during the Salem Witch Hunts, and others who were among the accusors. (It started as a settling of scores, like most "ethnic cleansing" and "witch hunts" but some of the SOBs were just greedy. Eventually they accused the wrong rich man and he sued his accusers for a vast amount of money (by current standards). Suddenly witchcraft was no longer a problem.)

The last witch trials in my native province were about 1915. Yes, 19-15. Not 18-15 or 17-15.)

A lot of the Pentecostals, Baptists and other yahoos of the God-bothering type still believe in demonic possession, witchcraft, Ouiji boards, etc.

Seeing as a bunch of American fundies were behind the criminalization of (and the death penalty for) homosexuality in Uganda recently, the two subjects of foreign superstition and American Christian superstition are not unrelated. The Americans are just making it worse in the most backward cultures on Earth.

STOP IT.

God can hurt you, if he exists. And liberals may well be only too happy to fight the Good Fight if he doesn't.

Write your congressperson and tell him or her who the real freaks are and that you want them stopped. Suggest pulling funding to something or other, possibly Uganda's government or the Christian propagandists who divert tax-free dollars to the perpetuation of pure evil in the name of Jebus.

And now back to the cruel, cruel jokes.

That photo of the little afflicted family is pretty much the definition of a "beautiful landscape ruined", isn't it.

The ground squirrel does improve it, I think.

One thing is for sure. The maxim that all babies look like fugly old men is destruct-tested by this family's portraits. In one, the kid is cute, in the other, he looks like Sir Winston Churchill after drinking himself stupid the night before. Still, he has his Mother's face at the moment, so that's good. And he has his Father's legs.

It's a shame Dad can't get some surgery. He must have eyes in there somewhere and it would be nice if he could see. After all, he has a relatively pretty wife and child and is living in one of the world's great beauty spots.

They've got some nice-looking family also.

Oh, well. At least his face keeps him out of the Taliban. They don't seem to take fuglies. Most of the young men who have been converted to martyrdom are suspiciously handsome, young and dangerous to the personal and political ambitions of the elderly horse-faced polygamists that lead them.

Speaking of aging horseface polygamist wannabes ... no, that would be too cruel.

Oh, what the Hell!

You came within a few percentiles of electing one POTUS!