I remember.. I remember it like it was yesterday..

I was living the high life, submitting questionnaires into what I should do as I had just discovered during a bachelor party the groom engaging in coitus with a goat on TFD, via Anon-DIT because that's what everybody who had a SERIOUS PROBLEM did back then. I remember those were simpler times.. when cat pictures were actually funny.. when the owls were still only just becoming completely obnoxious..

Shortly after crafting my latest Anon-DIT, a foray into the inner workings of humanity via a "SERIOUS DEBATE" on if two midget Spartans or a Viking would win in a fight.. the site started to crash. "No", I told myself. I shook the blasphemous thought from my head as if it were stagnant water in my ear beginning to itch. "I was almost done!". Little did I know the chaos that was to ensue.

In the following two hour period a slew of new features were being enacted. "Web 2.0" was the reason the Admins gave us. "It's more stream-lined! User friendly! Tabs! Buttons! Colors! Stop living in the past!" they cried from atop their mountain. Of course this is what they would tell us. It wouldn't have any impact on their lives.. just business as usual for the "Gods on Olympus". They continued to shake the web design apart.. pixelquakes shattered the sidebar and cracked the logo. A hailstorm of features came crashing upon our unwanting heads, no matter what shelter we took it was inevitable. A few users even foolishly tried to replicate the supposed "out dated", but still WANTED stylization. I remember.

After the few hours or so that they shook OUR Earth they lived not upon, we were simply told that we'll "Get Over It". Thousands of butthurt netizens shook their tiny fists at their keyboard, claiming that they'll QUIT FARK FOREVER, if only for the HORRIBLE way Jeff treated them. Even our noble-persons were at a loss. Even they, who held their heads high through site designs before, and stared gloriously into certain death, could offer no solace That was the day Argh_Dammit left our ranks. His spirit broken, we wandered slowly away, presumably to die alone and at peace as ancient beasts often do.

Once the dust cleared, we saw a few familiar faces. Log_Jammin was always somebody I recognized. I always looked up to him from afar, though he would never recognize me. You see, I was never part of that elite rank, though I often fantasized about being welcome at the Table of Feasts in the Great Hall. When BXRWXR pulled him from the rubble and suggested he "Eat a Bowl of Dicks", I knew we would be okay. We would SURVIVE this thing. I haven't seen BXRWXR since, but the wrinkles in the face of Log_Jammin I think could tell the story, if we only looked close enough.

If only...