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(Today)   Big wishes, contagious diseases, and piss on your lap: the confessions of a mall store Santa   ( divider line
    More: Amusing, big wish, St. Nick, Downtown Portland, American Girl, Carnegie Hall, shower scene, meltdown  
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5075 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Dec 2012 at 11:27 AM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2012-12-07 11:54:07 AM  
3 votes:
I'm very confident that if I was ever a Santa I'd lean in close and whisper crazy stuff to kids... "What ever you do in the next 2 days, you MUST remember these words: starlight, billboard, mercury."

Later mom and dad would ask, "So.. what did Santa say to you??" Even if the kids remembered it the parents would assume the kids were crazy.
2012-12-07 11:30:50 AM  
2 votes:
i1151.photobucket.comView Full Size

That ain't the north pole you're sittin' on, kiddies!
2012-12-07 12:48:38 PM  
1 vote:
I work in retail and the current mall's Santa is orders of magnitude better than in years past (the bastards who run the mall put Santa right outside the store I work in, so I get front row tickets to EVERYTHING). Kudos to anyone who deals with it, because that job does NOT look like fun.

I will give one CSB: The same mall does an Easter Bunny every year, and I've had the thought that I would want to do it, just to find one kid for a perfect picture. The kid would be have to skittish and completely afraid of the giant bunny. Right before the picture is taken, you have to say something to the kid and freak them the hell out. Time it right, and that one picture is gold.

Photo Helper: "Okay, everyone smile... One... Two..."
From inside the bunny suit: "I'm going to eat you"

Kid screams, picture is taken, comedy gold. I figure you only get one of those, so make it count.
2012-12-07 12:38:01 PM  
1 vote: Full Size

/hot like his writing
2012-12-07 11:57:39 AM  
1 vote:
You'll shoot your eye out, kid.
2012-12-07 11:53:24 AM  
1 vote:
I bet a lot of pedophiles take up jobs as Santa.
2012-12-07 11:41:11 AM  
1 vote:

oldfarthenry: Bathysphere: I was Santa's elf at the mall, one year while still in high school.

Hey, fellas - how many of us are visualizing this right now?
[ image 250x200]

I only need one hand to run a mouse.
2012-12-07 11:38:45 AM  
1 vote:
Look at all the pretty white chillins

morethings.comView Full Size
2012-12-07 11:37:49 AM  
1 vote:
Is this a good place to mention I once worked with a guy who had another job as a mall Easter bunny and was by bizarre coincidence also a furry?
2012-12-07 11:31:37 AM  
1 vote:
2012-12-07 11:30:42 AM  
1 vote:
jrarcieri.files.wordpress.comView Full Size
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