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(Today)   Big wishes, contagious diseases, and piss on your lap: the confessions of a mall store Santa   ( holidayblog.today.com) divider line
    More: Amusing, big wish, St. Nick, Downtown Portland, American Girl, Carnegie Hall, shower scene, meltdown  
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5076 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Dec 2012 at 11:27 AM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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2012-12-07 02:01:37 PM  
1 vote:

Englebert Slaptyback: Rufus Lee King

Fifty years have passed, and I still feel kind of bad about it.

If it helps, he's probably dead now.

That made me laugh more than i should have
2012-12-07 12:40:52 PM  
1 vote:

JayGrrl: JackieRabbit: I've always thought of making a frightened two year old sit on Santa's lap as cruel. Kids that age are normally wary of and often frightened by strangers. When you take them into the crowded, loud, big decorated mall they are already sensory-overloaded. Putting them in the lap of some weirdly dressed stranger is just too much. Of course they are going to melt down. Santa doesn't mean anything to a child so young anyway.

Bullshiat. I knew Santa at 2 years old. I knew him after I turned one, wondering why he was raiding my kitchen (for booze.) Mom hired a random cousin to dress up as Santa for us and I was introduced to the slightly logged roly poly jolly sack that brought us presents.

You have a false memory, friend. No one can remember anything with clarity from so young an age. All you may know is some disjointed images that seem dreamlike. We all have a few of these. What you are remembering is stories your mother told you and associating them with events from around three or four years of age.
2012-12-07 11:48:39 AM  
1 vote:
The original and still gold-standard:

Sedaris reads "Santaland Diaries"
2012-12-07 11:44:32 AM  
1 vote:
Yeah, the worst part of that job was when the kids were scared of Santa and their parents would say, "GODDAMNIT, YOU LITTLE SHIAT, YOU SIT THERE AND SMILE OR THERE WILL BE HELL TO PAY WHEN WE GET HOME! " Sadly, kids were so scared, I had to sit on Santa's lap next to them, and parents still paid for the photos with me in them. I cried daily after work. It sucked.
2012-12-07 11:31:37 AM  
1 vote:
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