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(WFSB Connecticut)   Hmm, my oatmeal seems a bit dryer than normal this morning   ( wfsb.com) divider line
31
    More: Weird, Naugatuck, William Lampron, East Hartford, Waterbury, Pratt & Whitney, Boston Harbor, reckless endangerment, morning  
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10496 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Dec 2012 at 11:18 AM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



31 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
Englebert Slaptyback
2012-12-06 11:20:39 AM  

WATERBURY, CT (WFSB) -

A Naugatuck man was arrested after being accused of poisoning the oatmeal of his former boss, causing him to become severely sick.


Skin him and make a Nauga-hide lampshade.
 
CrimsonMeerkat
2012-12-06 11:24:16 AM  
The more interesting article was the one in the sidebar for this one.

Father/daughter arrested for incest (SFW)
 
TabASlotB
2012-12-06 11:28:02 AM  
What a dryer might look like:
a1appliancerescue.comView Full Size


What an adjective pertaining to the moisture content of food might look like: drier.
 
twiztedjustin
2012-12-06 11:29:46 AM  
Why would you admit to that? Unless they go all CSI on you, determine the speed dry was purchased at a specific store in the past 6 months and that store has video footage of you buying it, they can't prove nothin!
 
poindxtr
2012-12-06 11:30:52 AM  
lh4.googleusercontent.comView Full Size


Approves

/just as long as he gets some hot water, too.
 
Cewley [TotalFark]
2012-12-06 11:33:45 AM  
the weight of his mullet caused poor brain function.
 
Incog_Neeto
2012-12-06 11:33:53 AM  
I like this sentence

"The oatmeal has been seized as evidence to be analyzed, police said."

HAND OVER THE OATMEAL AND NOBODY HAS TO GET HURT!
 
JRoo
2012-12-06 11:34:08 AM  
i21.photobucket.comView Full Size
 
Grapple
2012-12-06 11:34:37 AM  

Cewley: the weight of his mullet caused poor brain function.


POWER MULLET!
 
selrays
2012-12-06 11:39:27 AM  

CrimsonMeerkat: The more interesting article was the one in the sidebar for this one.

Father/daughter arrested for incest (SFW)


Incest in Connecticut? If she were 17, this article would have been a much different read even though the act would have likely been the same.
 
All_Farked_Up
2012-12-06 11:41:50 AM  

selrays: CrimsonMeerkat: The more interesting article was the one in the sidebar for this one.

Father/daughter arrested for incest (SFW)

Incest in Connecticut? If she were 17, this article would have been a much different read even though the act would have likely been the same.


From what I read she was 16 so the charges are probably statutory rape and child pornography
 
SlagginOff
2012-12-06 11:42:49 AM  

CrimsonMeerkat: The more interesting article was the one in the sidebar for this one.

Father/daughter arrested for incest (SFW)


Even apart from the incest, that's one of the most disgusting looking couples I've ever seen.
 
Incog_Neeto
2012-12-06 11:45:16 AM  

All_Farked_Up: selrays: CrimsonMeerkat: The more interesting article was the one in the sidebar for this one.

Father/daughter arrested for incest (SFW)

Incest in Connecticut? If she were 17, this article would have been a much different read even though the act would have likely been the same.

From what I read she was 16 so the charges are probably statutory rape and child pornography


They are being charged with distributing child pornography of an x-girlfriend of the daughter that was made while the x-girlfriend was underage. Then in addition they are charged with incest. You can't make this stuff up.
 
cyks
2012-12-06 11:53:33 AM  
FTA: "The oatmeal has been seized as evidence to be analyzed, police said."

...he already admitted to lacing it. Why is analyzing it further needed (besides being an excuse for the crime lab to use it's toys)?
 
Lord Dimwit
2012-12-06 12:01:45 PM  

cyks: FTA: "The oatmeal has been seized as evidence to be analyzed, police said."

...he already admitted to lacing it. Why is analyzing it further needed (besides being an excuse for the crime lab to use it's toys)?


Because he could recant his confession before the trial.
 
trappedspirit
2012-12-06 12:10:30 PM  
There once was a man from Naugatuck?
 
hstein3
2012-12-06 12:14:13 PM  
Poison? Amateur.

farm4.static.flickr.comView Full Size
 

/Hot like teacher
 
Clemkadidlefark [BareFark]
2012-12-06 12:14:19 PM  

Englebert Slaptyback: WATERBURY, CT (WFSB) -

A Naugatuck man was arrested after being accused of poisoning the oatmeal of his former boss, causing him to become severely sick.


Skin him and make a Nauga-hide lampshade.


This
 
offmymeds
2012-12-06 12:35:56 PM  

CrimsonMeerkat: The more interesting article was the one in the sidebar for this one.

Father/daughter arrested for incest (SFW)


wfsb.images.worldnow.comView Full Size


LOL the dad.
 
FatMason
2012-12-06 12:52:41 PM  
I hate it when websites think that they have to redirect to the main page when showing the mobile version if the website. Article? What farking article?

/grumble grumble
 
twobux
2012-12-06 01:24:09 PM  
The oatmeal has been seized as evidence to be analyzed, police said.

lol
 
havocmike
2012-12-06 01:26:23 PM  

offmymeds: CrimsonMeerkat: The more interesting article was the one in the sidebar for this one.

Father/daughter arrested for incest (SFW)

[wfsb.images.worldnow.com image 850x425]

LOL the dad.


did they arrest him in the middle of a haircut?
 
twiztedjustin
2012-12-06 01:32:30 PM  

FatMason:

/grumble grumble


i.imgur.comView Full Size
 
Isildur
2012-12-06 01:46:22 PM  
Oh, FFS.
imgs.xkcd.comView Full Size
 
GlobalStrategic MapleSyrup Reserve
2012-12-06 02:00:27 PM  

Isildur: Oh, FFS.
[imgs.xkcd.com image 740x199]


As a frequent phone Farker (as in someone who peruses Fark on their phone, note the capital) this used to be the bane of my existence.
 
blatz514 [TotalFark]
2012-12-06 02:05:13 PM  
Not sure why the headline made me think of this...

s3-ak.buzzfed.comView Full Size


Jim never has a second cup of coffee at home
 
SomethingToDo
2012-12-06 02:44:51 PM  
s3.amazonaws.comView Full Size
 
Mega Steve
2012-12-06 03:51:43 PM  
To be fair, the rat poison box does look a lot like Skinny and Sweet
 
Madame Psychosis
2012-12-06 04:09:01 PM  

poindxtr: [lh4.googleusercontent.com image 250x250]

Approves

/just as long as he gets some hot water, too.


came for Takei, leaving satisfied
 
Anagrammer
2012-12-06 08:53:59 PM  
WATERBURY, CT (WFSB) - A Naugatuck man was arrested after being accused of poisoning the oatmeal of his former boss, causing him to become severely sick.

William Lampron, 43, of Naugatuck, turned himself in to Waterbury police Wednesday.

Police said the boss began experiencing severe stomach pain after eating oatmeal that he kept in a canister in his desk. He said he checked the oatmeal and found what he believed to be SpeedyDry mixed in with the oats.

SpeedyDry is a granular substance used to soak up liquid spills such as water, oil and antifreeze.

Criminals have now dubbed this technique the "Lampron Tampon".
 
Isildur
2012-12-06 10:27:54 PM  

hstein3: Poison? Amateur.

[farm4.static.flickr.com image 500x375] 

/Hot like teacher


You know, I never noticed before, but doesn't that look a lot like Paul Ryan? IIRC that episode was made some years ago though, so probably coincidental.


havocmike: offmymeds: CrimsonMeerkat: The more interesting article was the one in the sidebar for this one.

Father/daughter arrested for incest (SFW)

[wfsb.images.worldnow.com image 850x425]

LOL the dad.

did they arrest him in the middle of a haircut?



A haircut in the late Middle Ages? He looks like he has the plague or some sort of horrible pox, with those forehead boils.
 
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