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(Buzzfeed)   The 10 Commandments Of Awesome Hot Chocolate: never ever use powder   ( buzzfeed.com) divider line
    More: Advice, whisk, brown sugars, half-and-half, nutmeg  
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15646 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Dec 2012 at 3:58 PM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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2012-12-04 08:16:20 PM  

give me doughnuts: ...but first make sure it organic whole milk from a local artisinal dairy, and shade-grown fair-trade cocoa sustainably harvested by co-op owners.

fark all that:
1) Hershey's Syrup
2) Milk
3) Microwave

Drink it. Done!

Forgot the marshmellows.
2012-12-04 08:41:36 PM  


So I can pay shipping costs on top of of the cost of the exact same items I can find locally, and to still end up with artificial sweetener? Thanks, but no thanks.


The point, which went soaring over your head like a majestic eagle, is that you will have more and different options if you order online than you will if you rely only on what's available locally.
2012-12-04 08:51:10 PM  
Mandatory: A pinch of nutmeg- not enough so that you drink it and think "this stuff's got nutmeg in it!" but enough to lift the cocoa up a bit.

Also, I am off to the store to buy Three Musketeers, Snickers, York Peppermint Patties, and maybe a couple other varieties of candy bar and give Pocket Ninja's idea a go. I might make a minor change, though: slightly scald the milk THEN add the candy bars. I think putting them directly in a skillet would run the risk of burning them.

With luck, someone will get another hot chocolate thread greenlit tomorrow so I can post the results.
2012-12-04 08:58:45 PM  
any chocaholic living near a Whole Foods knows that they sell Valrhona cocoa powder in bulk for $12.99/lb. here in NYC, Hershey's or Nestle go for about $10/lb at the supermarket, so the Valrhona is an insane bargain. much darker, far more tasty, far more chocolatey, far more fragrant...n mixes better.Trader Joe's sells good vanilla for $5 for a 4oz bottle. makes my hot cocoa and my pre/post workout whey protein shakes OUTFRIGGINRAGEOUS. in the latter i'll mix 8oz skim (preworkout) or whole milk (post workout or meal replacement) with a 2 scoops of Optimum Nutrition Gold Standard Whey in Double Chocolate flavor, or any good whey isolate with NO flavor...all other flavors bring weird offensive chemical tastes...add a teaspoon of vanilla, a heaping tablespoon of Valrhona cocoa, n sweetener that varies. amazing, consistently.

as for making hot chocolate, it depends...i find i prefer a mix of solid chocolate (many good brands) n Valrhona cocoa. in terms of the added richness of the cocoa butter, sometimes i want it toned up or down depending on how fatty my dairy base is. if it's whole milk, i can go all solid chocolate, but when u add heavy cream or go half-n-half, i find that added some Valrhona powder prevents the sense of fatty unctuousness from rivaling the cocoa.

i tend to reduce sugar, i may use a teaspoon of sugar, honey or maple syrup along with 2 packets of Splenda in a 14oz mega serving...it still tastes the same as if all sweetener was caloric. i rarely use salt, sometimes it's tastier sometimes not. the level of chocolateyness varies by mood.

for mochas, anything from a teaspoon of instant coffee to a teaspoon of Turkish coffee or espresso powder yields tasty results.

cornstarch is hilarious.
2012-12-04 09:01:47 PM  

oldfarthenry: Step 1 - think about making hot chocolate
Step 2 - remember that you're an adult
Step 3 - drink a glass of Scotch instead

Step 4 - sip and pair it with a piece of dark chocolate with a high cacao percentage.
2012-12-04 09:08:32 PM  

blunto: I predict all you hot chocolate snobs weigh about 300 pounds each.

I'm 290, but that's only because I'm not a snob about my chocolate.

/Except Hershey's. Nasty nasty Hershey's.
//Except the eggies, those are good.
2012-12-04 09:13:37 PM  
step 1. make a snobbish declaration like, "don't ever use powder".
step 2. use Ghirardelli.
step.3. sweeten with maple syrup.
step 4. finish with jumbo Kraft marshmallows.
step 5. swallow your hot cup of fail and go suck a gun turdmitter.

note: step 5 was going to be, "dip my nuts in your cup" but I didn't want anyone licking my balls later and saying they tasted like shiat.
2012-12-04 09:30:45 PM  
i.imgur.comView Full Size
2012-12-04 09:38:09 PM  
I have lactose intolerance. I mix Tim Hortons hot chocolate powder in boiled water with a hand mixer. I like it.

/abhors making food that takes longer to prepare than to consume (waiting periods not included)
2012-12-04 09:38:44 PM  
i38.tinypic.comView Full Size
2012-12-04 09:55:22 PM  
I get a good cow, preferably a gurnsey, and feed her nothing but the finest cocoa beans and fine cane sugar for a month.
Then when she's all saturated I hoist her up over a large bonfire and the delicious hot cocoa starts to spray outta the cow titties in about one hour...

Or sometimes I get lazy and purchase a Hot Cocoa Sampler Box.
2012-12-04 09:58:42 PM  

evilmrsock: [i.imgur.com image 800x1306]

Holy cow, you actually did it.
2012-12-04 10:08:56 PM  
evilmrsock Holy Hell.. Really! How was it?
2012-12-04 10:11:45 PM  
8 oz. (two 4-oz. bars) dark chocolate...

Dammit - All I have here is half of a 16-oz. bar!
2012-12-04 10:12:02 PM  
Too much damn work.

My hot chocolate recipe:

take Chocolate milk, add Hershey's syrup to taste. Nuke for 1:45. Add mini-marshmallows nuke for 30 more seconds
2012-12-04 10:17:34 PM  

evilmrsock: [i.imgur.com image 800x1306]

*looks at face*

"Highly Recommended"

Double Not Sure If Serious.jpg
2012-12-04 10:18:16 PM  
If one of your first ingredients is not real cacao (yes, that is correct) [preferably Peruvian], then you're doing it wrong. I'd still drink it, but still...
2012-12-04 10:30:02 PM  

Forsythe P. Jones: evilmrsock Holy Hell.. Really! How was it?

He's gone into a diabetic coma and won't be able to let us know how it worked out. 

/ Impressed
2012-12-04 10:39:30 PM  
Best hot choclate Ive ever had is from a craft festival we visit every year. They make it with powder. so Fak ya.
2012-12-04 10:48:49 PM  

MartinaMcSorley: Forsythe P. Jones: evilmrsock Holy Hell.. Really! How was it?

He's gone into a diabetic coma and won't be able to let us know how it worked out. 

/ Impressed

I think if I had added a quart of milk to the mix, it MIGHT have been consumable. Half a pint of heavy cream was NOT sufficient. The recipe didn't call for anything but 3 Musketeers! I was cheating enough as it was! But as I was cleaning the pot, it looked more like hot cocoa and less like... nougat stew.

Kinda like the first time I made saurbrauten and said "ahhhh, this can't be right, I'll double the number of ginger snaps" and just had ginger-candied beef chunks. I'll file this next to orange-soda-ramen, which IS actually consumable.
2012-12-04 10:49:18 PM  

CarnySaur: So instead of saying "Hey, here's a cool way to make hot chocolate." the article goes the route of "This is the only way to make hot chocolate, and your way sucks."

That actually sounds like a lot of fark comments. So which farker wrote the article?
2012-12-04 11:02:27 PM  
My wife just got back and she says the kitchen smells much nicer like 3 Musketeers instead of like steak seasoning. HIGHLY RECOMMEND.
2012-12-05 12:04:33 AM  

evilmrsock: [i.imgur.com image 800x1306]

Wow, you actually did it. Welcome to TF.
2012-12-05 12:47:15 AM  

evilmrsock: [i.imgur.com image 800x1306]

Outstanding effort! Also PN confirms once again why his posts are in green.

/clapping gifs all around
2012-12-05 01:12:40 AM  

Beerguy: [chocolatechicgifts.com image 301x396]


[burlapanddenim.com image 480x480]

Don't use powder my ass.

Yes! But my Cocomotion is on its last leg and I can't find them anywhere anymore. Any ideas on where to get a new one, or something like it?
2012-12-05 01:37:23 AM  

Espertron: Oh FARK. Only you could produce a hot chocolate snob thread.
You crazy little website, you.

I love you.
//Not gay, but I love you anyway.
2012-12-05 01:40:19 AM  
Categories of food: 1. Sustains life.
2. Pretty good
3. Really good.

All are acceptable.

/bunch of farking clowns.
2012-12-05 03:58:36 AM  

Treygreen13: Who knew there were hot chocolate snobs? I'd heard of beer snobs and shaving snobs. But this one is new.

There's snobbish wankery for everything. Hell, I'd wager that somewhere out there, there are wanking snobs. "You go one-handed? Pfft, if that's what gets you off, that's ok, I guess. ೨_೨"
2012-12-05 09:15:43 AM  

ChubbyTiger: brakiachi: The trick is to use alkalized cocoa powder.

/Makes cocoa mix for a living, getting a kick

You meant not to, right? Not to use Dutch process. Right?

I mean, if you are into hot cocoa that is sour, astringent that also has a horrible color, I guess you could use non alkalized cocoa.

/In fairness a pinch of non alkalized cocoa can enhance flavor in hot cocoa
2012-12-05 12:10:43 PM  

evilmrsock: [i.imgur.com image 800x1306]

i tried that but the bag just melted into the pan. it didn't DISAPPEAR like it was "supposed" to
2012-12-05 04:19:41 PM  
Marshmallows - no

Salt - yes
2012-12-05 08:52:58 PM  
Sometimes you'll take the powder and be damn glad to get it:

patrickbieneman.files.wordpress.comView Full Size
2012-12-05 11:59:49 PM  

Party Like It's 1975: Sometimes you'll take the powder and be damn glad to get it:

[patrickbieneman.files.wordpress.com image 320x240]

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