FARK.com: (7462621) Eight classic, wonderful toys that were banned forever because children are stupid and hurt themselves with lawn darts

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		Eight classic, wonderful toys that were banned forever because children are stupid and hurt themselves with lawn darts ( buzzfeed.com)		192
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27347 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Dec 2012 at 3:34 PM (5 years ago) | Favorite | share:

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YouSirAreAMaroon

2012-12-01 07:41:21 PM

Ronin_S: louiedog: lordargent: pxlboy: My friend's fiancee was dumb enough to put one of these into the dishwasher with the wrapper still on.

Speaking of which, I never understood why those were even necessary. Even the old ass dishwasher from the 80s (that I just replaced) had a dispenser on the inside to just pour the liquid/solid into. Why do we need individually packaged detergent servings?

// some of the GIS images I posted might have been detergent for clothes washers, but still, detergent packs for dishwashers do exist.

// my new washer also has a dispenser built in

I don't know what's in them, but those individual detergent packs work way better than any combination of liquid/powder detergent and rinse aids that I've tried since phosphates have been removed from consumer detergents here in the US. I got a sample pack of two in the mail and the next two loads that came out of my dishwasher were the cleanest I've seen in a long time. I may buy them when I run out of my current stuff.

It's the same stuff, just premeasured because dishwasher detergent is super concentrated and people tend to use too much, leaving residue and water spots. A scant tablespoon will take care of an entire load of dishes. The dissolving packaging probably also does a 'timed release'.

The same as what exactly? I never used a combination of powder and liquid prior to the little Cascade Complete packs.

People_are_Idiots

2012-12-01 07:42:09 PM

Another one to add to the list:

Tickle Mittens

2012-12-01 07:42:10 PM

JonnyBGoode: Tickle Mittens: [farm6.staticflickr.com image 558x640]
In contries that had sensible natural selection policies for children, unlike the US, Jetfire's gun shot a little plastic missile. And shot well.

Jetfire, AKA VF-01 Valkyrie.

[i33.photobucket.com image 600x600]

*cough*RIPOFF*cough*

Notice the Japanese in yours, which is also a model anyway? There you go. Also, my Takatoku Valkyrie has its original packaging. So does my Strike Valkyrie. Fact remains every American Jetfire is missing a little spring and the missile it shoots awesome with. The Japanese know how to make kick ass toys. "It'll never penetrate the glasses, we're all born nearsighted!"

netringer

2012-12-01 07:42:45 PM

Rising_Zan_Samurai_Gunman: trivial use of my dark powers: Buckyballs were specifically marketed for adults. If you're dumb enough to give them to your kids maybe removing the snowflakes from the gene pool is the right thing to do.

This. Just got some for myself while I still could, and there are multiple warnings that they are for adults only and are harmful if swallowed; at least 3 on the packaging. When you order from their website there is a big yellow warning that you must set a check box in stating that you will not give them to children or allow them to be left out near children.

Yeahbut, they sorta ab enticing haazrd. When I got mine I had a random thought that it would be a good idea to show the neighborhood toddlers how cool magnets are. Doh!

captainsnag

2012-12-01 07:43:57 PM

Redwing: [media.visionforum.com image 300x377]

You'll shoot your eye out, kid!

someahole

2012-12-01 07:51:16 PM

ytterbium: Rufus Lee King: MelGoesOnTour: And now that I think about it....are "caps" still available for sale? That is, those things you could either put in a cap-gun or smash the whole wad with a hammer and start a fire?

I found some at Dollar General for my recently-acquired "Rifleman" cap-shooter. However, those caps are not like the ones you might remember from your childhood. Wimpy as hell, I'm talking. They hardly make any noise at all.

My husband just bought a lot of vintage cap guns today at an auction (love the dueling pistols, the boys are playing pirates). It's just a hammer that slams onto an open depression. What do you use, surely not crappy red paper caps?

Depending on how vintage, possibly these.

belhade

2012-12-01 08:24:33 PM

BigNumber12: lordargent: pxlboy: My friend's fiancee was dumb enough to put one of these into the dishwasher with the wrapper still on.

Speaking of which, I never understood why those were even necessary. Even the old ass dishwasher from the 80s (that I just replaced) had a dispenser on the inside to just pour the liquid/solid into. Why do we need individually packaged detergent servings?

More idiot-proof. More expensive. Pre-metered doses don't allow you to use less product for lighter loads. What's not to love?

Apparently not. There's always a bigger idiot.

Lord Jubjub

2012-12-01 08:27:44 PM

Surprised it hasn't been mentioned yet: The story behind Aqua Dots. This wasn't stupid kids, this was greedy adults.

Australian company comes up with brilliant idea of small beads that glue together when wetted. They used 1,5-pentanediol which was a perfectly safe chemical that acted as a glue when wetted. They contracted with a Chinese company to produce the dots. Said owners of Chinese company, "Why not use 1,4-butanediol? It's much, much cheaper and has the same gluing effect."

1,4 butanediol is metabolized by the body into GHB, a recreational drug.

/Aqua Dots are back on the market under the name Pixos and uses 1,5-pentanediol and bitrex.

I should be in the kitchen

2012-12-01 08:31:32 PM

Lead ink? As a kid I loved reading my mom's old books from the 50s, and I turned out just potato.

Southern100

2012-12-01 08:31:58 PM

What's wrong with red paper caps?

I used to love those things - I'd take a big hammer to 'em a whole roll at a time to see how loud they could get. :)

I don't know about the ones they make now, but back then they could get pretty loud. :)

sno man

2012-12-01 08:47:26 PM

MelGoesOnTour: And now that I think about it....are "caps" still available for sale? That is, those things you could either put in a cap-gun or smash the whole wad with a hammer and start a fire?

Yes they are. I saw some for the first time in a VERY long time at a store a couple of weeks ago. The paper roll ones... five rolls all together in a tiny box. Oh the memories. They had the plastic 'disk' ones too.

lordargent

2012-12-01 08:59:33 PM

People_are_Idiots: Another one to add to the list:

Did you know that you could sharpen the little red missiles so that they had points?

Southern100: I used to love those things - I'd take a big hammer to 'em a whole roll at a time to see how loud they could get. :)

Did you know that you could light those on fire?

sno man

2012-12-01 09:00:18 PM

peasandcarrots: A few times, when I've mentioned to friends that we had lawn darts, they look at me like I'm lucky to be alive. Then someone said, "Aren't you supposed to play catch with them?"

Lawn darts. Catch.

"No, there's a ring you put on the ground. You're supposed to throw it into the ring. You don't play catch with darts, as far as I know."

"Oh..."

The weird thing is, I've started seeing that show up in a few articles and even in a book or two - that lawn darts were for playing catch. I think people have heard about the dangers of lawn darts for so long that they started presuming the toy was dangerous as designed, rather than a toy with unforeseen risks for people who used them improperly.

Our lawn darts looked like http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/0/03/Lawndarts.jpg. Note the squared-off point. You might get a hell of a bruise, but I doubt that thing could pierce anything. Not unless you dropped it from a cloud.

Yea, they started out with a dull(ish) point but by the time they'd been played with a few (hundred) hours and they had glanced a few rocks, you could have some pretty dirty sharp(ish) points on there. It was kinda like horse shoes in that there were two ring targets you would set up at opposite ends of the yard. Eventually you would just stay at your end as the darts rained down around you and the target...
I took one in the foot about 40 years ago, and despite my best efforts to the contrary, and a nasty infected puncture wound, I did get to keep my foot...
So I was probably one of the kids responsible for the end of lawn darts.

crabsno termites

2012-12-01 09:03:59 PM

StickyBunBandit: Mattel also made a snub nosed 38 special that was banned,it was chrome plated and actual size of the real thing.
It used the the same bullets as the derringer,and greenie stickem caps,some were used in actual robberies,and some kids suffered eye damage due to the plastic bullets,wish I still had mine.

.38 or eye?

The_Eliminator

2012-12-01 09:45:23 PM

My cousins and I used to play with Jarts by throwing them over our grandparents' house at each other. The adults used to get pretty worked up when they figured out what we were doing. Amazing that nobody got a lobotomy on the lawn.

Dellirium

2012-12-01 09:51:12 PM

Boy, these all take me back to the days of fun and dangerous toys.
Played with most of these:

Thingmaker - liquid rubber heated in a metal mold
Vacuform - plastic heated and vacuum formed over a model
Creepy Crawlers - liquid rubber heated in a metal mold
Lead Gilbert casting sets - made red hot toys soldiers
Jarts, cap guns, small fuel cell engines, gas powered model cars and airplanes, Estes rockets, slingshots, pellet guns, and fireworks.

Kids have no clue what they are missing - and we didn't know how friggin' dangerous this stuff was back then.
Gilbert Chemistry kits! make your own fireworks

Fortunately, still have all appendages and eyes/ parts. damn lucky I do.
But boy, was it fun.

hariseldon

2012-12-01 09:57:45 PM

SDRR:
And a pocket full of marbles

When I was a Boy Scout, we used to bring our Wrist Rockets when camping
until one kid got shot in the neck with a chocolate Whopper.

BigNumber12

2012-12-01 09:59:18 PM

belhade: BigNumber12: lordargent: pxlboy: My friend's fiancee was dumb enough to put one of these into the dishwasher with the wrapper still on.

Speaking of which, I never understood why those were even necessary. Even the old ass dishwasher from the 80s (that I just replaced) had a dispenser on the inside to just pour the liquid/solid into. Why do we need individually packaged detergent servings?

More idiot-proof. More expensive. Pre-metered doses don't allow you to use less product for lighter loads. What's not to love?

Apparently not. There's always a bigger idiot.

No doubt, hence the "more." You can't save 'em all.

muck4doo

2012-12-01 10:08:10 PM

Just tried out my clackers in honor of this thread. 5 was the most i could do tonight. My record is 12.

/Those are up and down clacks.

schizoid2k

2012-12-01 10:09:10 PM

Porous Horace: I miss my Big Electric Cat Kit.

Big Electric Cat?

lordargent

2012-12-01 10:15:53 PM

hariseldon : When I was a Boy Scout, we used to bring our Wrist Rockets when camping
until one kid got shot in the neck with a chocolate Whopper.

That's making me LMAO thinking of improvised wrist rocket ammo.

// think of any kind of candy that has multiple flavors in the package ... think of that one nasty flavor that nobody likes ... imagine that flavor hurtling through the air with all of the momentum that two pieces of surgical rubber tubing and a leather strap can provide.

HoratioGates

2012-12-01 10:28:05 PM

johnnygew: Original Clackers

I had original clackers- not just before the stick version replaced the string version- I had the glass ball ones that would shatter at high speed. They should actually be in my storage shed. They were blue and I seem to remember I liked them specifically because of 'Big Blue Marble' the kids show, and yes, mine fractured. there is a chuck missing from one about the size of a quarter that I imagine went shooting off at high speeds, but luckily didn't hit me. (I did get a pretty good cut from a glass bottle coke that exploded in my hand when I was about three. You can still count the stitches 38 years later.)

Hawnkee

2012-12-01 10:34:34 PM

We had part of a Slinky. But I straightened it.

Yugoboy

2012-12-01 10:36:31 PM

Last summer I went to a XXXXX sale in XXXXX and found a set of Jarts sitting on top of a coat rack. Knowing (based on Fark threads) that these things are "banned" and have a market, I picked 'em up. Apparently they were on top of the coat rack because somebody told the sale organizers they were "illegal." Being an out-of-towner, I promised to forget where I got 'em.

$2.

Hanging on to them for now (they're in the original red white and blue cardboard box).

vodka

2012-12-01 10:39:36 PM

The Southern Dandy: [www.retroland.com image 650x300]

Now with NEW Super brain cell killing fumes!

Did those ever work? I got a kit a few times over the years and was never able to actually make a bubble of any sort.

Sensei Can You See

2012-12-01 10:42:08 PM

CSB:

When my son was about 6 I took him to Ringling Bros. circus. He bought a little plastic cannon that shot a little soft foam man about 2 inches tall. He had a little plastic helmet; the whole projectile weighed only a few grams.

No. 1 Son was downstairs playing with it when he suddenly yelled "Daddy! I broke off my tooth!"

The inside corner of one of his top two front teeth was indeed broken off about halfway up and halfway across. He swore the projectile had hit him in the mouth.

I didn't believe him at first. The cannon was cocked to fire by pulling down a little lever on the side; it was a pretty stiff spring and I thought he'd tried to use his teeth to pull on it.

But I found the broken-off piece and the little cannonball guy -- the tooth fragment had a little smear of red paint on it and the little (red) plastic helmet had a chip of red paint missing.

Our dentist said he'd seen kids chip their teeth on marshmallow nougat candy bars; he wasn't surprised.

/no, I didn't sue

twofedoras

2012-12-01 10:58:03 PM

Kinder Eggs.

Eddie Adams from Torrance

2012-12-01 11:13:41 PM

The Southern Dandy: [www.retroland.com image 650x300]

Now with NEW Super brain cell killing fumes!

SuperElasticBubblePlastic doesn't kill brain cells... I made at least potato of those things.

peasandcarrots

2012-12-02 01:15:05 AM

Gyrfalcon: WHAT THE F***!!!!! Catch?!??!?

Oh my god. That makes me want to get some, sharpen up the points, and start selling them. Just to see who'd really be that dumb.

First place I heard it was some comedian on television. The audience was howling while I sat there with an expression of "Hwaaah?" on my face. Might have been Gaffigan; for some reason I have him in my head when I think about it, but the memory ain't what it used to be. There was a LOT of crappy standup on TV at the time. After that, I started noticing it thither and yon elsewhere, though, shame on me, googling "playing catch with lawn darts" yields nothing useful.

But yeah; get someone more than fifteen years younger than me, and when I mention the lawn darts, there's a fair chance that they'll believe that lawn darts were for playing catch and that only a complete idiot would own a set.

ongbok

2012-12-02 01:21:08 AM

twofedoras:

Kinder Eggs.

Fisher Price "My first drug smuggling" kit?

23FPB23

2012-12-02 01:26:26 AM

The Southern Dandy:

Now with NEW Super brain cell killing fumes!

I can still taste it. I wonder what sort of second lives those straws went on to lead lol?

scalpod

2012-12-02 03:14:11 AM

cynicalbastard

2012-12-02 04:29:20 AM

A '70's classic for the Junior Psycho on your list. Don't forget the scantilly clad Victim model to go with it!

Fail in Human Form

2012-12-02 05:16:11 AM

If they're like the ones I had growing up they probably take a paper "roll" of caps. See if the side of one of the pistols swings up and there's a little post inside it.

/My little brother and I had a mini arsenal of toy weapons xD

strapp3r

2012-12-02 09:49:25 AM

hobo hand-job?

/curiously aroused

JCFarx

2012-12-02 09:58:14 AM

PutterPutterNutterButter: Many moons ago - probably early 70's - I remember my parents giving me a toy rocket car that you pressurized with (presumably) aerosol can (or dichloroflouromethane). It literally had a rocket tube and nozzle, into which you inserted a tube from the can. When it was full you put it down, pulled out the tube and watched it scream down the street, leaving a white cloud in its wake. Anyone else have one of these?

(I tried a variety of searches on Google but no luck)

I had one of those too but sadly can't remember the name of it.

DaCaptain19

2012-12-02 11:24:42 AM

pheed: DaCaptain19: Mugato: I don't know, some of those don't seem unreasonable to ban.

This. Whenever you can go through your own chemistry set, and come upon something Iran would be interested in obtaining...not a good sign.

[retrothing.typepad.com image 550x542]

[img857.imageshack.us image 237x344]

very nice!

DaCaptain19

2012-12-02 11:27:56 AM

puckrock2000: Can't imagine why this was discontinued.

Who came up with that..Ron Jeremy?

rewind2846

2012-12-02 11:56:15 PM

RatMaster999: [sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net image 720x720]

Richard Pryor or George Carlin cassette tape in a Teddy Ruxpin.
Leave it for the younger kids to find, preferable at a preschool.

Laughs were had.

Great Porn Dragon

2012-12-03 12:04:26 AM

Rising_Zan_Samurai_Gunman: Mugato: I don't know, some of those don't seem unreasonable to ban.

trivial use of my dark powers: Buckyballs were specifically marketed for adults. If you're dumb enough to give them to your kids maybe removing the snowflakes from the gene pool is the right thing to do.

This. Just got some for myself while I still could, and there are multiple warnings that they are for adults only and are harmful if swallowed; at least 3 on the packaging. When you order from their website there is a big yellow warning that you must set a check box in stating that you will not give them to children or allow them to be left out near children.

Of course, the sad thing is, the problem wasn't the expected toy ingestion hazard (namely, the two-year-old who puts everything in his mouth eating a handful of Buckyballs) but rather was rock-stupid teenagers and tweens who were using them as faux tongue and lip piercings...and accidentally swallowing them in the process.

Buckyballs are a legitimate case of where some clinically derptarded individuals got a cool toy functionally banned :P

(As for the book bans--that's more of a case where old books did get caught up in some major tightening up of lead standards (when the Chinese were selling lead-fortified toys)--unfortunately, the level that things had to be lowered to in order to keep the cheap, cheerful and Chinese stuff out also managed to hit every book printed before 1978, back when lead was still routine in paints and inks.)

rewind2846

2012-12-03 12:28:57 AM

vodka: The Southern Dandy: [www.retroland.com image 650x300]

Now with NEW Super brain cell killing fumes!

Did those ever work? I got a kit a few times over the years and was never able to actually make a bubble of any sort.

Where I grew up we couldn't afford the fancy superelasticbubble plastic, so we bought a cheap chinese knockoff that had even MORE fumes in tubes half the size for a quarter each (this was the 1970's). Sh*t smelled like a tire patch kit and the bubbles would get hard in seconds as the volatile solvents evaporated. Made a real nice fireball when lit, as some of those solvents were trapped inside the bubble... at least those that we didn't suck into our lungs.

destrip

2012-12-03 08:23:26 AM

Cerebral Knievel: The atomic energy lab thing sold for close to $100, in 1951.
I dont feel like adjusting that rate for inflation, but that was hella 'spensive back then. It would most likely be purchased by a school districts science program rather than an individual

Per Wiki, "$458.99 in 2011 US dollars."

Wow, it even had a cloud chamber!

And a gamma-source?!

It's kind of scary looking back, but the giddy exuberance about atomic energy in the 1950s must have been fascinating.

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