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(Today)   How much income do you need to be "happy"? $161,000. Unless you live in Dubai. Then it's $276,000   ( lifeinc.today.com) divider line
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5669 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Nov 2012 at 10:45 PM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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2012-11-30 11:01:22 PM  
3 votes:
I'll never be happy until I have all of everyone's money.

2012-11-30 11:05:14 PM  
2 votes:
25.media.tumblr.comView Full Size
2012-11-30 10:42:13 PM  
2 votes:
The formula for happiness includes $161,000, but it's slightly more complicated than just that amount.

(base income)+$161,000\relatives*(sex*partners\frequency*threesome)+(car\mai ntenance-gas cost)+([penis size][breast size])-debt-(vacation/work hours)+lottery winnings+(alcohol on hand\consumption)*weed
2012-11-30 11:15:57 PM  
1 vote:
In a quiet Mexican fishing village, an American who was on vacation saw a local fisherman unloading his catch. He decided to approach him.

The American asked the fisherman, "why are you finishing your day so early?"

The Mexican replied "Oh Senor, I have caught enough to feed my family and a little extra to sell for today. It is now time to go for lunch with my family and have a siesta. In the afternoon, I can play with my kids. In the evening, I will go to the cantina, drink a little tequila and play the guitar."

The business professor was horrified at the fisherman's lack of motivation to succeed. He answered, "If you stay out at sea until late afternoon, you will easily catch twice as much fish. You can sell the extra, save up the money and in six months, maybe nine, you will be able to buy a bigger and better boat, and hire some crew. Then you'll be able to buy a second fishing boat and hire another crew."

He continued, "In another year or two, you will have the capital to buy a second fishing boat and hire another crew. If you follow this business plan, in six or seven years, you will be the proud owner of a large fishing fleet."

"Just imagine that! Then you can move your head office to Mexico city, or even to L.A. After only three or four years in LA, you float your company on the stockmarket giving yourself, as CEO, a generous salary package with substantial share options. In a few more years " listen to this! " you initiate a company share buy-back scheme, which will make you a multi-millionaire! Guaranteed!"

The American got very excited at the prospect himself. He said, "I definitely know these things. I amm a well known professor at the US Business School."

The Mexican fisherman listened intently at what the animated American had to say. When the professor had finished, the Mexican asked him, "But, Senor Professor, what can a person do after getting millions of dollars?"

Now, the American professor hadn't thought that far. He was taken aback by the question.

So he quickly figured out an answer "Amigo! With all that dough, you can retire. Yeah! Retire for life! You can buy a little villa with a picturesque fishing village like this one, and purchase a small boat for going fishing in the morning, You can have lunch with your wife every day, and a siesta in the afternoon, with nothing to worry you. In the afternoon, you can spend quality time with your kids, and after dinner in the evening, play guitar with your friends in the cantina, drinking tequila. Yeah, with all the money, my friend, you can retire and take it easy."

Puzzled with the American's suggestion, the Mexican fisherman replied, "but, Senor Professor, I do that already!"
2012-11-30 10:53:47 PM  
1 vote:
I wouldn't live in that sh*thole for anything.

No alcohol, women getting arrested for showing their knees, a long prison sentence for trace amounts of pot on the bottom of your shoes, and that stupid Muslim call to prayer blaring at 5AM?

No thanks.

You had me at 'no alcohol'
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