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(Slate)   It's Thanksgiving, so let's not fight today and just all agree that turkey white meat is a bland, tasteless, cardboard-like substance that nobody really enjoys and we all secretly crave the dark. And if you take the last leg, I WILL CUT YOU   ( slate.com) divider line
    More: Obvious, Ron Rosenbaum, white-breads, scrambled eggs, Fairfield County, boobs, zucchini, nutritional value, porkchops  
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2193 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Nov 2012 at 2:41 PM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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2012-11-22 01:47:24 PM  
3 votes:
If you can't cook a turkey such that the white meat is delicious and flavorful, you're doing it wrong. I just stuff mine with aromatics and cook it breast-side down, so the white meat gets all the extra juices and flavor. We eat some of the dark meat, but most of that is reserved for turkey gumbo later on in the week.
2012-11-22 02:47:59 PM  
2 votes:
Sorry your mom's a lousy cook, subby.
2012-11-22 05:43:25 PM  
1 vote:

GardenWeasel: Ham - Easter
Turkey - Thanksgiving
Roast beef - Christmas

Grey Goose - New Year
2012-11-22 03:43:23 PM  
1 vote:

Coelacanth: *Trying to figure out how to cook this mushroom log thingy my vegan brother wants instead of turkey*

Dammit, I was a vegetarian for 5 years (had a meat smell = cadaver smell issue), and all I did was load up on pie and other stuff. None of this "I need to make a carcass replacement" dealy. Those meat replacement things usually give killer heartburn due to all the savory flavour enhancements.
2012-11-22 03:37:21 PM  
1 vote:

Coelacanth: *Trying to figure out how to cook this mushroom log thingy my vegan brother wants instead of turkey*

Here's how you cook mushroom logs for your vegan brothers: "Hey brother, come cook this f*cking log. Or eat some f*cking turkey, or go hungry, I don't care, but this f*cking log ain't my f*cking problem!"
2012-11-22 03:36:29 PM  
1 vote:

Coelacanth: *Trying to figure out how to cook this mushroom log thingy my vegan brother wants instead of turkey*

That's easy. Slice it into 1/2 inch thick rounds and fry them in lard, and tell him next year he can cook his own damned food.
2012-11-22 03:22:16 PM  
1 vote:
I only eat the white meat if I can, the dark meat I use for soups and sandwiches later on, the way myself, my mom and grandma cook a turkey the white meat is moist and delicious!
2012-11-22 03:17:21 PM  
1 vote:
You are cooking it wrong.

/Prefers the white meat
//Why yes, I am African American...
2012-11-22 03:02:37 PM  
1 vote:

CygnusDarius: I've always heard heritage turkeys were good.

This is indeed true. Several of the awesome reasons why they are tastier is that they are physically, structurally different from the Broad Breasted White turkey that we get in the grocery stores. The meat distribution on the BBW turkey is 75% breast/wing and 25% leg/thigh, whereas the heritage birds are the more natural 50/50 breast/leg ratio. This gives them jumbo long legs and powerful hindquarters, and a smaller breast. The breasts on the heritage birds are also deeper (think deep greyhound type chests vs barrel-shaped bulldog chests) due to a much longer keelbone (breastbone), so you have to take that into consideration while cooking them.

Another fun physical difference that very much adds to the awesome flavor of heritage turkeys is the thick layer of corn yellow fat that they get under their skin. This fat layer does not develop in turkeys until 7 months of age, and since BBW turkeys are slaughtered at 2-4 months, they literally never get a chance to create this layer of delicious yellow gamebird fat. The heritage birds (slaughtered at 8-9 months) have it all throughout their body, like a pheasant or a wild duck. The fat melts off while you cook it, naturally self-basting the bird from the inside and giving it a richer, more intense flavor (its intense in a good way, not a gamey way).

/raises and eats heritage turkeys
//had people fighting last year over who got to bring home the scraps from my 18pd Bourbon Red tom
2012-11-22 03:00:20 PM  
1 vote:
Just consumed some microbews, a sweet potato, and 16 ounces of grilled ribeye

/fark y ou
2012-11-22 02:57:43 PM  
1 vote:

FirstNationalBastard: Turkey sucks. No, it would have to be edible to suck.

That's why we have a prime rib in the oven.
2012-11-22 02:51:45 PM  
1 vote:
Chicken is so much better
2012-11-22 02:45:29 PM  
1 vote:
Brine it, fry it, watch the juices roll when you cut the breasts out.
2012-11-22 01:20:44 PM  
1 vote:
That's why every bite of it must be combined with something else...stuffing, sweet potatoes, gravy...anything!
2012-11-22 12:52:31 PM  
1 vote:
That's it, I'm going in, I don't care if it still has four hours left. I'm having pink meat.
2012-11-22 12:47:22 PM  
1 vote:
whether chicken or turkey, white meat doesn't have enough fat to be moist and flavorful - unless you do two things: brine it and don't overcook it.
2012-11-22 12:22:43 PM  
1 vote:
It's turkey. It's not like there's any part of it that's particularly interesting. The entire reason gravy exists is to disguise the fact that turkey, even the dark meat, is bland and uninteresting.
2012-11-22 11:11:50 AM  
1 vote:
Maybe you're cooking it wrong. I like the white meat.

Yes, I know; that's racist.
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