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(Yahoo)   Today marks the 50th anniversary of the day JFK was accidentally killed by Secret Service agent George Hickey   ( news.yahoo.com) divider line
    More: Sad, President John F. Kennedy, Dallas, special agents, National Register of Historic Places, Lee Harvey Oswald, public address, Dealey Plaza, Jonathan Davis  
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10716 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Nov 2012 at 1:47 PM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2012-11-22 02:02:04 PM  
4 votes:
24.media.tumblr.comView Full Size

25.media.tumblr.comView Full Size

2012-11-22 02:01:33 PM  
4 votes:

The JFK assassination delayed the premiere of Dr. Who in 1963
This year is the 50th anniversary of James Bond.
Jame's Bond and Dr. Who are Brittish.
British people like soccer
America is the only country in the world where soccer isn't the most popular sport played
America's pastime is baseball
Fidel Castro was a failed baseball player...in AMERICA

So, Fidel Castro, in a bid to overthrow the American baseball monopoly, convinced the British government to send James Bond to kill JFK, then used Dr Who to send Bond back 1 year in the past to offset the Anniversary connection and hide the real motive for the killing!

/need to have Michael Jai White read that for the full effect
2012-11-22 08:27:33 AM  
4 votes:
JFK introduced new math into the school system.
2012-11-22 08:26:14 AM  
3 votes:
You mean he was a zombie for a whole year? Maybe we should be looking at Abraham Lincoln as the real killer...

/oh please please please let this go green so we can truly mock subby
2012-11-22 02:43:32 PM  
2 votes:
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2012-11-22 02:21:42 PM  
2 votes:
i291.photobucket.comView Full Size

HARTMAN: Do any of you people know who Charles Whitman was? None of you dumbasses knows? Private Cowboy?

COWBOY: Sir, he was that guy who shot all those people from that tower in Austin, Texas, sir!

HARTMAN: That's affirmative. Charles Whitman killed twelve people from a twenty-eight-storey observation tower at the University of Texas from distances up to four hundred yards. Anybody know who Lee Harvey Oswald was? Private Snowball?

SNOWBALL: Sir, he shot Kennedy, sir!

HARTMAN: That's right, and do you know how far away he was?

SNOWBALL: Sir, it was pretty far! From that book suppository building, sir!

HARTMAN: All right, knock it off! Two hundred and fifty feet! He was two hundred and fifty feet away and shooting at a moving target. Oswald got off three rounds with an old Italian bolt action rifle in only six seconds and scored two hits, including a head shot! Do any of you people know where these individuals learned to shoot? Private Joker?

JOKER: Sir, in the Marines, sir!

HARTMAN: In the Marines! Outstanding! Those individuals showed what one motivated marine and his rifle can do! And before you ladies leave my island, you will be able to do the same thing!
2012-11-22 01:59:38 PM  
2 votes:
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/never forget
2012-11-22 01:07:13 PM  
2 votes:
i287.photobucket.comView Full Size
2012-11-22 08:32:52 AM  
2 votes:

The Third Man: You mean he was a zombie for a whole year? Maybe we should be looking at Abraham Lincoln as the real killer...

/oh please please please let this go green so we can truly mock subby

I deserve it.

/hangs head in shame.
2012-11-22 04:13:10 PM  
1 vote:
My parents got married the day after Kennedy was shot. For a minute I thought we had screwed up their 50th anniversary party we're planning for them next year.
2012-11-22 04:01:59 PM  
1 vote:

TomD9938: thisisyourbrainonFark: Back and to the left, back and to the left, bacK and to the left

Put a cork in it, Ollie.

I think you mean: Put an Oll in it, Corky.
2012-11-22 03:17:38 PM  
1 vote:

Dr.Zom: cig-mkr: Great day in the morning, 50 years? Damn I was a senior in high school. Aren't they supposed to release ALL the facts after fifty years, you know, when all the players were dead?

Wow, you're 67? 68? Does that make you the oldest Farker?

/will now get off your lawn

68 next February, that's why I laugh when the baby boomer rants happen, I'm a war baby.
stay on the lawn, it's nothing but weeds anyway.
2012-11-22 03:02:25 PM  
1 vote:
Damn. They said there would be no math today.
2012-11-22 02:38:48 PM  
1 vote:

fugeeface: [o.onionstatic.com image 445x668] 
/hotlinked with grace, aplomb

Zapruder home movies

2012-11-22 02:27:38 PM  
1 vote:
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/hotlinked with grace, aplomb
2012-11-22 02:14:31 PM  
1 vote:
No, no. It was Agent Mason.

beefjack.comView Full Size
2012-11-22 01:48:52 PM  
1 vote:

JerseyTim: Well, it's green. Bring on my Thanksgiving shaming.

You should've played it up. Put in the "that's the joke" image, etc. Make it seem like we're all just too lame to get it.
2012-11-22 12:52:04 PM  
1 vote:

Coco LaFemme: Does it matter that subby got the # of years wrong? It was still a senseless and brutal act, perpetrated by a deranged nutball for no good reason. If you don't like the President, you vote him out. You don't kill him. That's not how the system is supposed to work. It's offensive.

seriously, we should greenlight this headline every day until the cia apologizes.
2012-11-22 11:38:43 AM  
1 vote:
Jesus should've been born in Year 0.

And today we're beginning the 50th year since the JFK assassination.

And when ancient Romans said "I'll see you in 3 days", they meant the day-after-tomorrow. Today is Day 1, tomorrow is Day 2, and College Football Rivalry Saturday would be Day 3.
2012-11-22 08:09:25 AM  
1 vote:
I thought it was Anne Frank who shot him.
2012-11-22 08:07:31 AM  
1 vote:
2012 - 1963 = 49.

Nice work subby.
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