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(KSAT San Antonio)   Home invasion involves ____ people with ______. a) two, rifles. b) three, pistols. c) ten, machetes   ( divider line
    More: Scary, home invasions, Alametos, Chevy Suburban, North Side, PlayStation  
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5874 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Nov 2012 at 8:25 PM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2012-11-21 08:38:37 PM  
3 votes:
This is why I have a ____ with _____ rounds loaded at all times in my house. a) .45, 15
2012-11-21 08:37:11 PM  
2 votes:
Sounds like a story a fourteen year old would make up.
2012-11-22 01:55:33 PM  
1 vote:

Smackledorfer: puppetmaster745: Smackledorfer: All break-in sounds would be obvious and apparent then?

Lock your deadbolts and windows, then yes, yes it would be obvious.

Windows can be quietly broken, stupid pets or careless children can raise a shiatload of a racket, and cat burglars exist.

Now, you may feel like responding to anything with your gun ready on the mere possibility that it is a B&E, which is fine. I'm not telling you not to. But I am telling you that you can't possibly know, upon being woken up by a single sound, what the cause of that sound is. That is the claim you and generallyso are making, and it is ridiculous.

If I suspected a break-in, I wouldn't sweep the house. I would make sure the wife and kids are accounted for, get them into a safe place, have the wife call the cops, cover a doorway, and wait for the burglar to venture just a LITTLE too far into the house.
2012-11-21 11:10:07 PM  
1 vote:
There's a voluntary recall on all Bear Grylls Parang Machetes (that you can purchase from, say, Wal-Mart for 50 dollars or so.) Apparently the machetes snap in half when you use them. Warning was issued by U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission and Health Canada.

So if these guys come at you... y'know. Use a prybar, hammer, something as a sword breaker. Or run. Whatever.
2012-11-21 11:08:11 PM  
1 vote:

vactech: I haven't been machete shopping recently, but wouldn't a large group of people amassing an arsenal of 10 machetes kind of stand out?

I mean let's say they're planning this, and it turns out 5 of the 10 have machetes lying around. Do the other 5 go to the machete district down on east side of town and split up to the 3 or 4 stores that carry machetes (you know, so it doesn't seem suspicious)? Maybe, if they space out the purchases...?...

In a metro area with two million people? No, it won't be noticed. I'm pretty sure more than 10 people in this city have bought machetes today. Hopefully most of them are not planning home invasions.
2012-11-21 09:32:04 PM  
1 vote:
To Machete
2012-11-21 09:30:28 PM  
1 vote:
Machetes are effective, makes the other guy think you're a crazy motherfarker.

Guy flew around a corner as I pulled out of an alley, I laid on the horn. Fella stops, gets out of his car as he grabs a tire iron from behind his seat screaming about how he was "gonna fark you up!"

Get out of truck, grab machete from under the seat and turn around. Guy about shiats himself as he screams about how crazy of a motherfarker I am as he runs back to his car and how "I'll be ready fo youz next time!"
2012-11-21 09:19:58 PM  
1 vote:

DrRatchet: cannonman1863: That 's why I always keep a machete or two around me at all times


Well, not really because of this. But I do happen to have one within reach of my desk.

Because of reasons zombies.


/Me too
2012-11-21 09:00:05 PM  
1 vote:

Begoggle: remus: This is why I have a ____ with _____ rounds loaded at all times in my house. a) .45, 15

Great for when the home invaders give you a call beforehand to tell you what time they will be invading.

Did you miss the "at all times" part of the sentence? Is reading comprehension an issue?
2012-11-21 08:54:26 PM  
1 vote:
collider.comView Full Size
2012-11-21 08:44:47 PM  
1 vote:

StoPPeRmobile: San Antonio police said they also cut the teen on the left arm. The 14-year-old was treated at the scene by paramedics.

Pretty sucky machete skillz.

Yes. If you are going to attack someone with a machete, the other guy should be nothing but shredded long pork.
Qel [TotalFark]
2012-11-21 08:39:42 PM  
1 vote:
Wasn't this an episode of Law and Order with Whoopi Goldberg
2012-11-21 08:29:47 PM  
1 vote:
Danny Trejo seen fleeing the scene.
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