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(CBS4Denver - KCNC)   Sideshow Bob made a half-hearted suicide attempt in his prison cell   ( divider line
    More: Fail, Sideshow Bob, suicide attempts, prison cells, gag orders, suicides  
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12274 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Nov 2012 at 12:12 PM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2012-11-15 10:39:21 AM  
5 votes:
Did he use a rake?

Hahahaha. I'm just kidding. I don't really care.
2012-11-15 12:18:15 PM  
3 votes:
FTFA: another involving him jumping off his bed.

2012-11-15 01:07:32 PM  
2 votes:

devilEther: He has a smile like Paul Ryan.

And probably a better fiscal plan for the U.S.
2012-11-15 12:20:06 PM  
2 votes:

gilgigamesh: Did he use a rake?

Hahahaha. I'm just kidding. I don't really care.

dudemeetsdad.comView Full Size

Came for this. kind of disappoined.

2012-11-15 03:55:08 PM  
1 vote:

LL316: Whiskey Dickens: Mcaffolder: Pfftt farking Canadians... they produce sociopaths like Micheal Bolton,

Did you just give New Haven, Connecticut to Canada?!?! Because he's from there.
Also, the name is spelled "Michael."
It's like the third most common name in the history of ever, so congrats on screwing THAT up.

...and Seline Dion. Then try and tell us how superior they are.

I'm assuming you're talking about Celine Dion?
That's a great joke (if you're Trey Parker and the year is 1998)! What's next? Jokes about Bryan Adams?

Bryan Adams sucks. And so does Molson.

Fight, fight! Seriously though, you're both kind of right. You canucks do have your fair share of loonballs however, so don't get all Wayne Gretzky uppity on your neighbors. We let you flaphats do whatever it is you do up there, like go to nickleback concerts, and produce sub par comedy, so just chill. Hoser
2012-11-15 01:15:21 PM  
1 vote:
His name is James Holmes., have some respect.
2012-11-15 01:08:03 PM  
1 vote:

Minus 1 Charisma: FTA: Law enforcement contacts, speaking on the condition of anonymity, told CBS4 investigator Brian Maass that Holmes jailhouse suicide attempts were viewed as being "half-hearted," with one of them involving him running into a wall in his jail cell, another involving him jumping off his bed."

There has got to be tape of this somewhere.

I'm off to get counseling for all my kids. Apparently they are suicidal.
2012-11-15 12:42:32 PM  
1 vote:

Buck Henderson: special20: Buck Henderson: Did they award him a Nobel Prize?

No, because he's obviously not a liberal. He might win a prize from the Koch brothers though.

Not a fan of chemistry?

I'm an avid practioner of attempted chemistry.

/half-hearted? Which half, atria or ventricles?
2012-11-15 12:42:15 PM  
1 vote:
Do or do not, there is do try.
2012-11-15 12:40:54 PM  
1 vote:

farbiez: How much must it suck to be a public defender for a pos like this?

A local POS has already had two public defenders withdraw: Link

I feel for the next one.
2012-11-15 12:34:31 PM  
1 vote:
He has a smile like Paul Ryan.
2012-11-15 12:25:05 PM  
1 vote:
So he's a sad clown, then?
2012-11-15 12:17:47 PM  
1 vote:
FTA: "CBS4 has learned from reliable law enforcement sources that James Holmes has made multiple suicide attempts in recent days, and at least one of the attempts led to a brief hospitalization."

Translation: "We beat the ever-livin' dogshiat outta that guy"
2012-11-15 12:15:17 PM  
1 vote:
I want to read the story on how he choked to death on his own detached penis.
2012-11-15 10:32:15 AM  
1 vote:
someone should help him with that.
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