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(Deadspin)   FOX's love affair with Joe Buck goes into overdrive as he works both the San Francisco 49ers and the San Francisco Giants games   ( divider line
    More: Obvious, San Francisco Giants, San Francisco 49ers, Giants, San Francisco, AT&T Park, Tim McCarver, Candlestick Park, understudy  
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1077 clicks; posted to Sports » on 15 Oct 2012 at 1:33 PM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2012-10-15 05:36:08 PM  
1 vote:
Jon MIller. Never says. A complete sentence. He always. Has to pause. And wait for. His mouth. To catch up. To his brain. It drives. Me. Farking crazy. He. sucks.
2012-10-15 04:18:01 PM  
1 vote:

LesserEvil: Paging NakedReporta and his soaking shoes...

funk_soul_bubby: So he peed in both shoes?

Cyberluddite: He is to baseball announcing as Mitt Romney is to politics--an untalented, privileged prick who got where he is solely because of the luck of being born the son of a famous and much more talented dad. I'm not surprised that he pissed in a Farker's shoes just to be an asshole.

Sorry I'm late to the party. Enjoy.

Apply directly to forehead in the event of a Joe Buck article:

Joe Buck Pissed In My Shoes
a short narrative by NakedReporta

Back when I was 11 and living in St. Louis, my parents decided I was too smart to be wasting my time in public schools and started seeking out private schools. The choice was eventually narrowed to two: John Burroughs and Country Day. I took the admittance test for each, but a kid I really hated from the public school I had attended was also trying to get into Burroughs, so I tanked that test.

Come fall, I was a seventh-grader at St. Louis Country Day School (known as CODASCO for short), whose famous alums include Vincent Price and John Danforth. And so began a year of sheer living hell. Most of the kids at CODASCO came from monied families, while I was this socially inept middle-class kid who wore the same Sears-bought suit every day. I was an immediate target.

One of my classmates was Joe Buck, the son of legendary Cardinals announcer Jack Buck. Joe was kind of a big, fat kid, but he had all the airs of social entitlement. Typical of the kind of stupid crap Buck would pull on me was to ask me if I "knew" my mother or to mock my attire. On more than one occasion, he was one of the ringleaders as five or six kids would decide to simultaneously throttle me.

But the final indignity came on a spring afternoon when we had gym class. We all changed into our standard-issue t-shirts and shorts and trotted out to the baseball field. All, that is, except Joe Buck, who bolted out of the locker room about a minute behind the rest. And when gym period was over, and we returned to the locker room, there were my Docksides-knockoff loafers, filled with the acrid stench of urine. Buck denied it, and the gym teacher didn't really give a shiat.

I had to wear my gym sneakers the rest of the day, then tearfully explain to my parents what had happened. They decided to press the issue, and it culminated in Joe and his mom and my mother and I all meeting with the headmaster. Joe denied it, I couldn't prove it, and the headmaster made us shake hands. I knew the remaining months were only going to be worse. The group beatings and mockery intensified. I barely passed my way through the seventh grade, and the next year I was back in public school. The torment continued -- hey, I was a real dork -- but at least it was free.

Look, kids can do cruel things. Joe was looking to be one of the guys, and I was an easy mark. He couldn't have any idea that my home life was simultaneously crumbling, and that what could have been a respite (time in school, away from home) was instead just compounding my nightmare. I suppose I should forgive the guy. But I can't.

I've managed to slog through a pretty respectable career as a writer. Joe, with his family ties and -- even I have to admit -- considerable talent, is the voice of FOX Sports. And every time I watch a marquee sporting event on FOX, I can't help but pause and reflect that, all those many years ago, that prick pissed in my shoes.
2012-10-15 03:31:53 PM  
1 vote:

LessO2: Figured Buck HAD to be there since he's a homer for The Cardinals.

Is there anybody on that particular broadcast team that isn't?

i.cdn.turner.comView Full Size
2012-10-15 02:47:12 PM  
1 vote:

gmacbeth: "Candlestick Park, where the 49ers play, is in the southeastern corner of the city and AT&T Park, where the Giants play, is in the northeastern part of the city.
Buck plans to arrive by cable car at AT&T Park after calling the football Giants' game."

Sorry but wrong. Candlestick is in the extreme Southeast part of the city but AT&T would still be considered the Southwest part of the city.

Someone get a map to these people.

Dude, AT&T Park (like Candlestick), is on the San Francisco Bay. I mean, right on the Bay, so close that deep homers to right can end up in the Bay. The San Francisco Bay borders the east side of the peninsula, the Pacific Ocean borders the west side. AT&T Park is most definitely on the east edge of San Francisco. You're right that it's not really the northeast part of the city--that would be the North Beach area, Fisherman's Wharf, etc., but it's most definitely not on the west side.
2012-10-15 02:25:02 PM  
1 vote:
I hate to say it, but Dick Stockton is worse than Joe Buck
2012-10-15 02:05:30 PM  
1 vote:

bglove25: So, what was there to complain about? I was more into the speculation about pitches and locations, how game events effect player thinking, you know, color analyst stuff.

All told from the "what the Orioles need to do here" perspective. And I could have done with less Smoltz explaining every little thing that popped into his head. Let the game breathe, jesus.
2012-10-15 01:51:02 PM  
1 vote:
Phil Collins playing both Live Aid concerts on seperate continents in one day is far more impressive.

/McCarver sucks
2012-10-15 01:37:15 PM  
1 vote:

Cyberluddite: And not only did the Giants lose to the Cards, but the Niners absolutely got their asses handed to them. Yet another reason to hate Joe Buck--not only did I have to endure 6 hours of listening him yesterday, but it was 6 hours of seeing my teams suck almost as much as Joe Buck sucks.

I feel legitimately bad for San Francisco fans who had to endure that ordeal yesterday.

And I love the fact that Fox pretended we were all waiting breathlessly as Joe Buck's police-escorted trolley made its way through the streets of San Francisco. Seriously, nobody gives a shiat.
2012-10-15 12:46:07 PM  
1 vote:

Lando Lincoln: I know most of you guys are going to completely disagree with me, but I really don't mind Joe Buck as an announcer. He's just there.

Yes, I'm going to completely disagree with you. And he never even pissed in my shoes, so I don't have any personal axe to grind against him, other than that he sucks.

OK, in fairness, he isn't that bad as a football announcer, but he (along with his partner, Tim McCarver, who clearly took too many foul balls off the side of his head) is the absolutely worst baseball announcer there is. I cannot stand hearing that motherfarker shooting off his mouth in any baseball game, and he completely ruins the broadcast of every game he announces.
2012-10-15 12:20:37 PM  
1 vote:
I bet he gets no compensation for putting in the hours like that.
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