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(10 News)   Women steal goat from petting zoo, return it with painted nails   ( divider line
    More: Weird, petting zoos, goats, pedicures  
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4431 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Oct 2012 at 3:54 AM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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2012-10-10 06:00:48 AM  
3 votes:
Goats don't have nails.
2012-10-10 06:20:48 AM  
1 vote:
On a day my family likes to refer to as "Never Day", myself, my sister, and our younger brother had all taken some window pane acid. My mom kept wondering why it is that we were all laughing and giggling and being so damn funny because we were cracking jokes left and right and she was dying of laughter driving us around to everywhere we were going (*it was during the RADical Days here in Pittsburgh where they open the museums, zoo, and other local venues and attractions up for free). After asking if we had just gotten some really good weed this time or what, one of us spilled the beans (can't remember who) and we then tried to get our other brother to join in the fun with us (he is totally straight edge and only ever drinks alcohol on occasion...and by the way, we were all in our early twenties, late teens when this occurred a few years ago). Anyhow, brother declined, but as mom was inspecting the additional hits of acid we were showing her, we began to tell her that this particular batch of gel tabs was actually pretty sweet and left a nice tingle on your tongue when you took it and that since it was gel tabs, the high came on strong and pretty damn quick. Well...almost immediately after telling her that, she went ahead and popped a hit in her mouth. All of our jaws dropped and if you knew our mom they way we do, yours would have too; our mom NEVER does drugs (she's an RN for god's sake!) and she only ever tolerated us smoking pot and the occasional recreational party drug, so to see her take a hit of acid and get ready to partake in one of the strongest and most mind altering highs known to man was really a HUGE shock for us! But, we were also very excited to be able to share this experience with our mom; something we had never gotten to do before and had only convinced her to smoke a doobie with us on maybe 2 or 3 occasions previously. So we knew we were in for an interesting and fun day!

Well, one of the events we had planned to attend that day was a Hay Day with a petting zoo. Since it was a free event, most of the stuff was pretty rinky-dink, but at the petting zoo, there was a bunch of baby goats and tiny, TINY little piglets. At the time, my mom had a GIANT purse, as older women usually tend to do, and since we were all basking in the sunlight and gloriousness of our trip, she decided that she was going to steal one of those piglets.

The guy tending to the animals totally wasn't paying attention, and we could have done it if we wanted to. We got so far as getting the little guy in her purse, but we ultimately decided against it because, my god, how the hell could we have explained what had happened if someone had decided to call the police? Oh yeah officer, our pupils are the size of dinner plates because, uh, we don't go out in the sun much? And oh, the pig? Well, you see, he just JUMPED into our mom's purse and we had no idea he was in there until you caught up with us! So needless to say, we didn't want to risk 4 out of the 5 adults present going to jail for stealing a pig while high as kites on acid...but that's what this story reminded me of.

The rest of the night wound up pretty damn awesome though and we had never seen our mom so agreeable and laid back. She was so much fun to be around like that and when the high finally wore off, she told us that if we could ever get that stuff again, she would LOVE for us all to take a family "trip" together on Christmas or Halloween or something. We have yet to be able to locate good acid like that again, and I am wary of shopping on the Silk Road for some, but still...that is a wonderful memory that we will all always have and we've never looked at our mom as the same uptight, straight edge, square that we had seen her as before that day. We probably could have gotten away with stealing that pig, but the experience that day actually lead us to go out and BUY a little pot bellied pig. After 2 weeks of non-stop squealing, we wound up giving it away to someone else who could better love and take care of it, so it's definitely a good thing we didn't, though.
2012-10-10 12:40:03 AM  
1 vote:
That's funny.
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