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(Quad City Times)   Man is upset that he gets "vanloads" of trick or treaters looking for Halloween candy, demands the city change its Halloween trick or treating hours. Surely that's easier than just not handing out any candy at all   ( qctimes.com) divider line
    More: Dumbass, Halloween, treating, Quad Cities, Davenport City Council  
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6193 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Oct 2012 at 6:16 AM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2012-10-08 03:16:58 PM  
3 votes:
I print out a sex offender registry notification, and slap it on my front door.
2012-10-08 10:28:53 AM  
2 votes:

Swiss Colony: I save my Watermelon flavour dipping candy for the black kids. The whites get vanilla of course, as per the packaging.


Apparently, as I've learned in this thread, the reasonable course of action is to set up a perimeter with armed guards to prevent the black children from getting near the houses in the first place.
2012-10-08 08:16:55 AM  
2 votes:
Try this. Word will get around.

wellpromo.comView Full Size
2012-10-07 11:53:43 PM  
2 votes:
You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch
2012-10-07 10:43:35 PM  
2 votes:
i2.kym-cdn.comView Full Size
2012-10-08 05:58:41 PM  
1 vote:
I fantasize about giving out the Cthulu Chick Tract parodies on Halloween, but never get around to printing a bunch up and putting them all together. One year though.
2012-10-08 02:14:27 PM  
1 vote:
Send them my way. Halloween is the favorite holiday of both my wife and myself. She makes faerie skeletons out of little plastic skeletons and the wings of those glitter butterflies you find in craft stores and hangs them on all the shrubbery. We decorate the front tree with lights and ornaments, and I usually set up a large amount of webbing with spiders and all that jazz. Typically our house is done up like other houses are for Christmas. Sadly, we only had about 20 trick-or-treaters last year.

We also have a Day of the Dead party two days later and this year we're going with a Luau theme. Main reason for is when I lived in Hawaii as a little kid I once had a birthday where we handed out candy leis to all the other kids. Plan is to hand them out this Halloween (and at the DotD party). Since we usually give large handfuls of candy to each kid, given the lack of trick-or-treaters, I figure we might as well assemble them into leis and hand those out instead.
2012-10-08 12:59:20 PM  
1 vote:
Oldiron_79: I get so few trick or treaters on my small back road(ie not a subdivision) that I actually buy the good shiat so I have whatever is left over for myself and not some bag of bite sized crap

So any kids I do actually get get like a diabeetus sezed Snickers or Reese's
2012-10-08 11:28:05 AM  
1 vote:
I'll just do what I've been doing for the last 10 years. On Oct 31st the light goes on at 3pm and off at 9pm. In that time frame I'll get maybe as many as 35 kids total. Whoever came up with the idea of having everyone park their cars in a parking lot, just having the kids go car-to-car, and calling it Trunk-or-Treat needs to die a horrible death.

One year I went all out. Built decorations, had the music going, did the dress up thing, and had the good candy. I got 5 kids that year. FIVE. This town sucks. Ok, maybe not such a csb after all.
2012-10-08 10:35:06 AM  
1 vote:
We had to stop giving out candy here. At first we were flooded by rowdy kids from dirt poor minority neighborhoods, and then we started getting adult gangbangers who wanted money. We threw in the towel after a bunch of drunk teenagers tore down our decorations and tried to push their way inside.

This was my favorite holiday.
2012-10-08 10:17:21 AM  
1 vote:
i live in a middle class neighborhood some Latino and blacks no bus ins and no trouble . All children come with costumes and 75% are escorted . I used to live in a totally white middle class area and after 800-1000pm the skels came out just to throw whiped cream and eggs at each other.
My favorite time was when my daughter got involved with trick or treating. I had a scarecrow with a speaker inside, I also used mono line to make the arms lift up over the head . I would work a CB miked inside the house and interact with the kids... great fun .
2012-10-08 10:06:39 AM  
1 vote:
I want to move Halloween to whatever is the last Friday or Saturday of the month. It's my favorite holiday but how much fun can you have on a Wednesday when you have to get up at 6am Thursday?
2012-10-08 09:27:07 AM  
1 vote:
I just hand out icecubes.
2012-10-08 08:35:29 AM  
1 vote:
I keep the little rugrats at bay by living in an apartment and being single in my 40s, and therefore massively creepy.
2012-10-08 08:21:49 AM  
1 vote:
I live in the back of a hilly neighborhood with no sidewalks. We don't get many kids if any.

Though around here it is amusing watching all of the churches celebrate the pagan holiday 'Harvest Festival'.
2012-10-08 08:07:36 AM  
1 vote:
Turn out the lights, leave the Dog of Peace inside the door. A freaked out snarling pittie leaving frothy spittle all over the inside of the windows does the trick.
2012-10-08 08:06:36 AM  
1 vote:
i1.cpcache.comView Full Size

2012-10-08 07:41:28 AM  
1 vote:

JackalRabbit: miss diminutive: My aunt and uncle were like this guy and used to despise Halloween. They lived beside that one guy in the neighbourhood who'd just go all out for Halloween; every year he'd convert his lawn into a haunted graveyard, complete with smoke machines, stuffed mannequins and scary music. Kids from all over would come just to see it and would, of course, try knocking on the adjacent houses to try their luck. Both of them would turn off all the lights, hunker down in the basement and basically sit in the dark while the doorbell rang all night. It was like they were riding out a nuclear war or something.

Finally they just ended up staying at friends places on Halloween just to avoid it, but they'd always come home to trampled flowers and a rotten egg or two on their property.

I miss trick or treating. Given the choice I'd rather go door-to-door or hand out candy rather than partake in the raging slutathon Halloween has slowly become.

sounded kind of fat at the end there

Just how I like my candy.
2012-10-08 06:59:17 AM  
1 vote:
Turn off your farking porch light, numbnuts

That doesn't work. I used to decorate the crap out of my yard, dress up, the whole nine yards. I stopped doing all that when for 5 years in a row I got only 3 kids coming to my door. Last year, even though there wasn't one decoration and my lights were off, my door bell rang quite a few times.
2012-10-08 06:54:35 AM  
1 vote:
I found out that leaving the lights off does the trick. Well, that and making a few neighborhood kids "disappear". The rest took the hint.
2012-10-08 06:47:42 AM  
1 vote:

Swiss Colony: Isn't his beef not with giving out shiat to child beggers, but by having 'Trick or Treating' on the 30th childs from other neighbo(u)rhoods come along so he ends up with many, many more than if it was the 31st so these childs would stay in their neighbo(u)hoods?

Sounds like greedy little farkers are trick and treating two nights running.

If you leave your lights off, or don't answer the door don't you end up getting 'tricked'?

I always keep a bunch of terrible candy on hand for the teenagers who trick-or-treat past 9pm.

Take the time to shop around, and get a few pounds of butterscotch candies, peppermints, and licorace drops. Also, stuff like Good&Plenty and Necco wafers, which will last for several years.

When the teenagers come by (the little bastards don't even bother to dress up), I just shovel the crap into their open pillowcases. I do it fast, so they can feel the weight, but won't realize until later that it is just a bunch of store-brand jawbreakers and tooth-rotters. With any luck they won't remember which house gave them the chewing gum.

Or maybe they like gum. It isn't my place to judge.
2012-10-08 01:48:13 AM  
1 vote:

Walker: I get zero trick-or-treaters. Most kids know don't knock on old man Walker's door.

Weren't you on a episode of Scooby Doo?
Wearing a mask and chasing everyone away
from. the hidden. treasure .
2012-10-08 01:05:07 AM  
1 vote:
wish i had a vanload of trick or treaters :(
2012-10-07 10:21:54 PM  
1 vote:
Anyone that tries to move Halloween from the evening of the 31st...for any reason...is an idiot.

/I realize this guy wants to move it back
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