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(San Bernardino Sun)   Your house is on fire. You have time to save one thing. What would it be?   ( divider line
    More: Survey, structure fire, San Bernardino, firebreaks, National Fire Protection Association  
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6150 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Oct 2012 at 6:49 PM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2012-10-07 03:34:49 PM  
12 votes:
My ass
2012-10-07 05:37:50 PM  
8 votes:
Rephrase the question....Your house is on fire, IF YOU COULD ONLY TAKE ONE THING OUT OF THE HOUSE, what would it be?

The fire.
2012-10-07 07:06:19 PM  
5 votes:

rev. dave: That is easy, my ammunition for my .44. It could kill someone if a fire ignited it and that would be my ass.

No it can't unless it's inside a firearm at the time. Ammunition needs the confines of a chamber to create the necessary force for the bullet to move and penetrate. The explosion of the powder in a chambered round has nowhere to go except forward, and it pushes the bullet out with the resulting speed and force. However, when a cartridges is ignited when not chambered it has almost no force. In fact, it will be the cartridge that will move while the bullet remains mostly in place since the brass is much lighter. Think of igniting a firecracker in your open palm. You might get a slight burn. But close your hand around the firecracker and you'll lose your fingers. The explosion of powder in a ammunition cartridge without the confines of a chamber is almost entirely harmless. The bullet won't even penetrate your clothes or leave a bruise.
2012-10-07 06:55:31 PM  
4 votes:
I have a go bag with passport, cash, and credit cards.

a friend of mine's house burnt down and I learnt from them that not having ID in America is a nightmare
2012-10-07 04:17:54 PM  
4 votes:
My house.
2012-10-07 07:01:08 PM  
3 votes:
dailyhaha.comView Full Size
2012-10-07 06:56:58 PM  
3 votes:
The little rolling suitcase I have packed in case of such an event.

After it happened to my neighbors across the street, I started storing my old photo albums, passport, and a few mementos in that piece of luggage so I could grab it in a hurry.
2012-10-07 06:56:37 PM  
3 votes:
The ashtray, the remote control, the paddle game, this magazine and the chair. And I don't need one other thing except my dog.

Well I don't need my dog.
2012-10-07 04:52:13 PM  
3 votes:
the mutt
2012-10-07 04:34:06 PM  
3 votes:
2012-10-07 07:23:16 PM  
2 votes:
I'm going to go with "proof of insurance coverage" ftw.
2012-10-07 07:11:27 PM  
2 votes:
My Neutral Milk Hotel vinyl.

/What? It was hard as hell to find.
2012-10-07 07:04:48 PM  
2 votes:
The better question is, what would you made sure gets destroyed in the fire???
2012-10-07 05:25:10 PM  
2 votes:

Hack Patooey: My ass

done in one
2012-10-07 03:50:57 PM  
2 votes:
After family, my 1973 Telecaster, my hard drives that have all family pictures, movies, and important documents.
2012-10-07 03:47:22 PM  
2 votes:
My external HD.

Pretty much most of my life's output (including wedding pictures, essays, journals, geneology, various demos for bands I've been in over the years etc.) is on it. Also, every CD or DVD I have ever owned, and a good chunk of my favorite video games too.

/what's this "cloud" thing I keep hearing about?
2012-10-07 09:49:20 PM  
1 vote:

brantgoose: Number one: the contents of my pockets.

The contents of my pockets.

Since the last fire, I've resolved to work on speed. Seeing the flames roar up one wall and down the other convinced me that the key thing to consider in a house fire is speed, promptness of action, speed and speed.


For a good time, crank the alarm clock to a random setting in the wee hours of the morning. Starting the instant the alarm goes off, you have 120 seconds to exit the building with your stuff. Including the 10-20 seconds you'll spend ripping plugs out of the back of the computer (or the 5-10 seconds you'll spend grabbing the backup drive from the rack). The 15 seconds you spend putting your pants on. The 10 seconds you spend fumbling for your wallet, cellphone, and/or keys. The 2-3 seconds you spend feeling each door between wherever you are and your exit, to make sure that you're not leaving a smoky room for an inferno, and making a go/no-go decision at each point.

For a really good time, do it blindfolded while on your knees. Fark is not your personal erotica site; I'm talking about trying to simulate the effects of trying to exit a house that's rapidly filling with smoke. Get out in 60 seconds, not 120, because you already used up the first 60 seconds of that 120-second limit sleeping while the place filled up with smoke. If you're still in the building when the alarm stops beeping, you're dead! (But congratulations, because this was only a simulation, you get to play again!)

It's an easy game to play if you don't mind spending ten seconds on your front porch in your pyjamas declaring victory. It's a lot harder if you're trying to get out with your paperwork, hardware, and dignity intact.

Time flies when you're having fun.
2012-10-07 09:15:25 PM  
1 vote:
If I had time to save two things, I'd save my wife and my dog.

If I had time to save only one thing, I'd die in a fire trying to save my wife and my dog.
2012-10-07 08:16:48 PM  
1 vote:
the motorized, self-cleaning litter box. it's more expensive than a new cat.
2012-10-07 07:41:44 PM  
1 vote:
My yambag.

My wife keeps it in a drawer under the bathroom sink. I haven't needed it since I got married.
2012-10-07 07:31:44 PM  
1 vote:

cowanauctions.comView Full Size
2012-10-07 07:22:49 PM  
1 vote:

Seth'n'Spectrum: My violin. Haven't practiced in 6 months, but the damn thing is worth than the rest of my worldly belongings combined.

Thanks mom, dad.

Yeah, I'd take my cello. The rest... I could do with new stuff anyway.
2012-10-07 07:15:23 PM  
1 vote:
My violin. Haven't practiced in 6 months, but the damn thing is worth than the rest of my worldly belongings combined.

Thanks mom, dad.
2012-10-07 07:11:32 PM  
1 vote:
ooh. Tough one.

My PC, or the folder containing all my tax returns and receipts and all the shiat I'd need to make an insurance claim on all my stuff.

fark it, I've spent a lot of time collecting that porn, and all my writing... I'll take the PC. Everything else is essentially replaceable.
2012-10-07 07:08:55 PM  
1 vote:
The trunk that is by the back door with everything in it that would need to be taken out in case of fire. (Copies of important papers, bills, accounts, insurance info, etc., as well as irreplaceable heirlooms, photos, etc.) Everything else is insured to the hilt because ain't no way a firetruck is making it here before the place is a big black hole in the ground. Stuff that is too big to fit in the trunk and is irreplaceable (one-of-a-kind guns, investment art, that sort of thing) I don't keep here, but in appropriate storage facilities.
2012-10-07 07:02:56 PM  
1 vote:

rev. dave: That is easy, my ammunition for my .44. It could kill someone if a fire ignited it and that would be my ass.

Not unless it's loaded it can't.
2012-10-07 07:02:37 PM  
1 vote:
I would save something small and worthless, yet humorous enough to get a couple upvotes on reddit. Then copy that link on Fark a few days later.
2012-10-07 06:53:30 PM  
1 vote:

wingedkat: Hack Patooey: My ass


and the pets, if they aren't out already.

Dude, insurance will replace the pets. Are you going to file a claim for your porn collection?
2012-10-07 06:53:15 PM  
1 vote:
It happened to me. 2am. Not enough time to even grab my robe, I ran out of the house in my birthday suit.
2012-10-07 06:52:13 PM  
1 vote:
My bug out kit with my gold and silver inside.
2012-10-07 06:52:04 PM  
1 vote:
My voter I.D.

2012-10-07 06:51:23 PM  
1 vote:
The bacon.
2012-10-07 05:51:30 PM  
1 vote:
Nothing. In fact I probably wouldnt leave the house if it was on fire. I would just sit there until it was over.
2012-10-07 05:12:49 PM  
1 vote:
I would save the house.
2012-10-07 04:56:08 PM  
1 vote:
The evidence of my arson for insurance monies.
2012-10-07 03:36:55 PM  
1 vote:
can I assume my wife is ambulatory?
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