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(Al Jazeera)   "The reason for Netanyahu's retreat is the demonstration of unexpectedly strong pushback against Netanyahu's antics by President Barack Obama. And that could be the best news on the Iran nuclear issue in many years"   ( divider line
    More: Interesting, obama, Benjamin Netanyahu, Iran nuclear, Olmert, Iran, bomb Iran, Yedioth Ahronoth, human beings  
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1681 clicks; posted to Politics » on 05 Oct 2012 at 11:56 AM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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2012-10-05 08:51:23 AM  
16 votes:
It's not widely known, but in the first few months after he got Bo, President Obama was really struggling to deal with the fact that the dog was a chronic carpet wetter. He'd wet the carpet in the oval office, the hallway outside the oval office, Joe Biden's office, the press corps briefing room (he was particularly fond of wetting in there). Everywhere, basically. Obama was at the end of his rope, literally.He's got this farking dog, a dog he only got because he promised his daughters on a national stage in front of the entire country that he'd get it for them. He hates dogs, really; in his native culture, dogs are seen as vermin. A highly placed official at NSA tells the story of a late night meeting at the White House in the early spring where the topic was Mr. Obama wanting to explore "scenarios" by which Bo might be eliminated without causing undue suspicion...their working idea was that Bo would accompany Mr. Obama on a surprise visit to Afghanistan and then "accidentally" escape into the mountains, where he would presumably be captured by Taliban forces and eaten. But that plan was nixed when officials realized that, should the Taliban recognize Bo when they found him, it might become a politically embarrassing issue for the president.

The problem was solved when the Dog Whisperer was -- quietly -- brought in. He said to the president, "Look, I don't normally advocate any sort of violence against dogs. And that's not really what I'm going to advocate for you. But sometimes, a negative dissociation can be very effective. May I?" And he stepped over to the president's desk and took a copy of the daily briefing, which was sort of a big deal but Obama let that slide. And he rolled up the daily briefing into a tube and said, "The next time Bo wets, smack him on the nose and say NO. Always carry this rolled up paper with you, and every time he does it, smack him again and say NO. Be very firm. He'll be surprised at first, but he'll change his behavior. You may not realize it, but his wetting is deliberate. It's a power play. He's pushing boundaries, and you need to push back."

Well, Obama didn't think it would work. But he tried it the first time, and Bo looked surprised and whimpered and went running to Michelle. The second time, Bo barked. But -- and here's the really amazing part -- there wasn't a third time. The habit died there.

This all was, incidentally, very shortly before Obama's first meeting with Netanyahu. Draw whatever inferences you wish.
2012-10-05 10:31:59 AM  
2 votes:
2012-10-05 12:32:51 PM  
1 vote:
Waddyaknow. Someone told the loud-mouthed war monger to shut up or lose his billions in US aid and he shut up.

Will someone please file this technique away for use by all future US Presidents? It's a lot cheaper than sending thousands of our military to be slaughtered in wars we should be fighting.
2012-10-05 12:27:10 PM  
1 vote:

Larofeticus: "So listen here, Benji. It looks like we're going to be able to get what we want just fine without bombing them. The economic warfare is working and will collapse them just fine with none of the direct messy consequences. We don't really give a fark about the nukes they don't have and aren't building, and they'll stop selling oil for currencies other than dollars just like all our other good little middle eastern vassal states. Take a hike; it's not like they were ever actually a real threat, anyway."

That's Obama. Here's the "response" from Tel Aviv (or Jerusalem, or Haifa...) to Bibi's sabre-rattling:
"Bibi, WTF? We have bigger problem domestically and with the countries that actually border us than we do with Iran. Let's make sure Egypt doesn't explode, killing Eilat with shrapnel before we fly a thousand miles to start WWIII - with pretty much ZERO support from anyone, including the US - because you don't like the way Ahmadinejad talks about your Momma. Besides which, perhaps you don't understand the concept of 'bluster'. Iran's having to lash out because someone aimed a diarrhea chute at every fan in that country. Chillax, bro." (The Hebrew sounds much more forceful, and I omitted the hand gestures, the yelling, the personal insults, the jokes about how cray-cray America can be, and the awesome smell of shawarma.)

Let's not ask the Haredis what they think. Tell you what, religious guys - read a modern history book and serve in the IDF; then you can contribute to the geopolitical discussion. Your "moral contributions" mean as much as your tax contribut- oh. Well, there you have it.
2012-10-05 11:08:28 AM  
1 vote:
Barack Obama, history's greatest Hitler.
2012-10-05 11:02:13 AM  
1 vote:

Pocket Ninja: This all was, incidentally, very shortly before Obama's first meeting with Netanyahu. Draw whatever inferences you wish.

Now somebody needs to photoshop that meeting to show Obama with a roll of paper in his hand...
2012-10-05 09:33:36 AM  
1 vote:

Pocket Ninja: This all was, incidentally, very shortly before Obama's first meeting with Netanyahu. Draw whatever inferences you wish.

You magnificent bastard. :D
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