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(Mother Nature Network)   You shouldn't eat cookie dough, kissing your dog is bad for you,taking vitamins will lead you to an early grave, and other reasons why people hate scientists and their annoying fact-finding studies   ( mnn.com) divider line
    More: Stupid, cookie dough, Emerging Infectious Diseases, Clinical Infectious Diseases, National Sleep Foundation, Big Gulp, randomized trial, meningitis, George Costanza  
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12651 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Oct 2012 at 6:01 AM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2012-10-04 08:33:19 AM  
3 votes:

thelordofcheese: And that's why Mythbusters is stupid.

"Boy, we have an extremely small sample size, and arbitrary conditions. Let's roll with it and masquerade it as science."

No way someone could ever be sick or not wash their hands.

thelordofcheese: No. That is terrible advice. Most people - almost all - would get frustrated and give up. You just have no willpower nor commitment. You should never give advice again.

I'm not sure if I saw what I think I saw. Did you just argue with yourself?
2012-10-04 02:27:54 AM  
3 votes:
phdcomics.comView Full Size
2012-10-04 06:43:13 AM  
2 votes:

Shadow Blasko: Clintoned in the boobies... Right there.

Score 1 for the filter.
imageshack.usView Full Size
2012-10-04 02:30:25 AM  
2 votes:
Clintoned in the boobies... Right there.
2012-10-04 07:16:22 PM  
1 vote:

ben_reddy: This is the most insanely idiotic sudo-science babble that I've read in quite a while... Thumbs up Subby!!

/sudo learn to spell pseudo
2012-10-04 10:24:34 AM  
1 vote:

Spad31: I love my dog kisses. I have the coolest, smartest most awesomest giant yellow Lab ever. He's way more fun than most people I know and he has a herd of pink stuffed-animal sheep that he carries around. He's the smilingist dog ever and he's my goofy boy. MURPHY! Or, Mr. Murffles if you're not into the whole brevity thing. Plus, he sleeps in my spot on the bed and keeps it warm for me if I'm not around.

I'm sure he loves going to town on his balls, butthole and dick right before licking your face, too.
2012-10-04 08:31:29 AM  
1 vote:

lewismarktwo: Louisiana_Sitar_Club: several pet owners contracted disease when their mouth or an open sore was lovingly licked by their animals.

What in the ever loving fark?!?! Is this the sort of shiat pet owners do? WTF is wrong with you people?

My dog used to french kiss me when I was sleeping and ever since I can eat just about anything without getting sick. Proof dogs make you immune to food poisoning!

Helps with the week-old roadkill.

Reminds me of a month ago. Stranger, bends over to hug or inspect or adjust the settings on her golden retriever as I'm walking by and exclaims, "It's gone!" in a tragic voice. Hey, she's pretty. "What?" "My dog licked off my contact lens!"
2012-10-04 08:27:01 AM  
1 vote:

Slaxl: fusillade762: I only do two of those things (8 & 9).

It's finally been confirmed: Sugary drinks make you fat.

I drink soda daily, probably about a liter or so. 6'2", 180lbs, 38 inch waist. Am I fat?

Yeah probably. I'm 6'2", I got up to 190lbs before I decided I was far too fat and needed to lose weight. I'm down to 170lbs at the moment but I'm still fat. It doesn't help that all my excess weight is stored in a rotund belly which exacerbates the appearance of being fat, but while technically my bmi is normal weight, there's no way i'm normal, unless we redefine it to spare the feelings of fat people, I'm definitely fat. Just not as fat as 400lbs tubsy over there.

I'm beginning to think there is a height requirement for Fark. Every time some guy posts his height it's always 6 "2.
Mr.S is also that height, ya really.
2012-10-04 08:00:57 AM  
1 vote:
several pet owners contracted disease when their mouth or an open sore was lovingly licked by their animals.

What in the ever loving fark?!?! Is this the sort of shiat pet owners do? WTF is wrong with you people?
2012-10-04 07:40:39 AM  
1 vote:

markfara: 11. If you swallow your gum instead of spitting it out, it will stay in your stomach for seven years.

Actually, scientists have since determined that the "7 Year" myth was a lie. Sadly, the anti-gum companies made this up and perpetuated the untruth for generations. Seven years? More like, seven cycles.

See, gum is like rain. It is always around but, sometimes, cloud-like.

For instance:

The last chair you sat upon may or may not have had gum-function. You don't know because you never thought of it. You just sat down. You selfish bastard.

The chair you are on now has gum-ties. Yes. It is tied to the Gum world. Sure, it would like to get away from the table but, the Gum is there. It prohibits your action of removing the chair from its presence. And, you want to lick that under-table Gum, don't you?

You see, cycles.
2012-10-04 06:43:22 AM  
1 vote:

Cloudchaser Sakonige the Red Wolf: I'm calling bullshiat on #3 because although eating less got me down to 210 from 255, I was stuck at 210 for years until I started exercising daily and dropped 30 pounds in 6 months.

anecdata: more fun than real science!
2012-10-04 06:20:18 AM  
1 vote:

SnakeLee: Yes, you can drink too much coffee.

Setting aside the acidic effect on your stomach lining, drinking too much coffee is risky for your health. How much coffee is too much? Studies say seven cups a day can cause anxiety, irritability, sleeplessness and even hallucinations. Drinking 10 or 11 cups daily slightly raises your risk of heart failure. Yet some people carry genetic mutations that increase their metabolism of caffeine. Others have a genetic quirk that slows the breakdown of the drug. Thus, how quickly you metabolize coffee determines your health risk.

Is there a test to find out if I have a mutation officially? I want to know if I can just mainline coffee all day or not once and for all

I wish that was a test we could pick up at the Rite Aid or Walgreens or something. I drink coffee nonstop. If I'm awake, I'm drinking coffee, with a big glass of ice water when I finish one pot and am waiting for the next one to brew. This is probably why I do not sleep, just take a few naps.

/got so excited when my favorite pumpkin spice coffee was available again, I bought two cases
//been drinking it since 1:00 am, when I woke up from my latest nap
///wanna race?
2012-10-04 06:18:35 AM  
1 vote:
3. Exercise won't help you lose weight.

There ya go fatties. Add that to your bingo card.
2012-10-04 06:16:30 AM  
1 vote:

AbbeySomeone: Dear People-
Life will eventually kill you. Enjoy your time here.

i471.photobucket.comView Full Size
2012-10-04 03:09:16 AM  
1 vote:
Ha! The jokes on Subby. I don't have my own dog.

/if anyone needs me, I'll be in my lab
2012-10-04 02:42:24 AM  
1 vote:
Fark that. I've been eating raw cookie dough all my life and I'm GARGA!RK#ELJ;$LKD&JF@EWK!JV!LBM;U?HG@#GNB%NAK fine.
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