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(Fark)   Write some headlines that would have been posted when Columbus found the Americas. You know. If Fark had been around back then   ( fark.com) divider line
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2969 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Oct 2012 at 3:59 PM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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2012-10-02 10:57:47 PM  

HighOnCraic: Italian immigrant shows up without papers.

I'm going to be banned for this:

[clears throat]

{not news} Injuns spot far off distant ship, squint thee eyes; {news} help FOB WOP onto free land, are only offered nubianrdly beads for it in return. {Fark} Redfaced. {TF} No, reservations are the way to go through life, Son.
2012-10-02 10:59:21 PM  
Royal Commission Finds Crackpot Theories of Mysterious Con Artist Colomb Impracticable.

Four reasons given: World diameter 3x larger than Colomb thinks. World round, not pear-shaped. The other side of the Earth is known to be a gigantic tractless ocean. If there are any lands between Europe and Asia they must be inhabited by now.

Promise of Riches of the Indies Overides Common Sense. Queen Isabella Hocks the Jewels.


Discovery of America is Liberal Media Hoax, says Eminent Protestant Divine. Not Mentioned in Bible.
Obama Held Responsible for Black Death, Sour Milk, Climate Change

Prominent Economist Warns Gold and Silver of the Americas will Ruin Spanish Economy, cause Inflation on unprecendented scale. Bullion surplus may force fiat currency on world.
2012-10-02 11:06:35 PM  
[Follow-up] Italians arrive way too late to save lost Viking explorers.......

[Ironic] ....... leave Roanoke settlement just in case Vikings return.
2012-10-02 11:08:50 PM  

Tony_Pepperoni: GungFu: In 1942, Columbus sails the ocean blue...

a) Gets lost
b) Farks some natives
c) Profit!


The war had just begun.
2012-10-02 11:12:01 PM  

Science_Guy_3.14159: North America seeing an increasing rate of Hispanic Immigration, locals worried.

Everyone can stop now. Winner found.
2012-10-03 06:33:47 AM  
No one expects a Spanish immigration
2012-10-03 10:21:28 AM  

Kangaroo_Ralph: poe_zlaw: People who look like Indians found in new land. They aren't Indians, but we'll call them Indians for hundreds of years anyways.

Louie C. K. actually did a bit on this.

Ahhh, you're Indians!
2012-10-03 12:12:46 PM  
Spanish sailors find land, lose noses.
2012-10-03 12:37:28 PM  
Columbus discovers scantily clad natives in new--you already clicked, didn't you?
2012-10-03 01:35:53 PM  
"All your maise are belong to us"

/late, like that goddamn Pinta.
2012-10-03 05:27:37 PM  
[Aztec] The secret ingredient to this sacred meal Posole is... People! Guess who eats this dish...
2012-10-03 07:29:55 PM  
So many good tag lines! should have enabled voting!
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