If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Sheboygan Press)   "If inappropriate behavior were to continue, the lights would stay on, the chicken dance song would be played for the rest of the night"   ( sheboyganpress.com) divider line
    More: Amusing  
•       •       •

7678 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Oct 2012 at 8:17 AM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2012-10-02 09:09:56 AM  
3 votes:
Well, what a 25th high school reunion this has been. No one could have guessed that I would have spiked the punch bowl with a powerful sedative. Then, I moved everyone to this remote farm where I buried you all up to your necks. So the question I ask of you - are you all having fun?

Relax jock Henderson. I will have my revenge for what you did to me soon enough. But right now, you will all be witness to my greatest act of revenge. Here is Principal Wartburg. He's eighty two, confined to a wheel chair and suffers from Alzheimer. But beneath that blank lifeless stare, he knows where he is and why he's here.

Remember Principal Wartburg? Remember me from the junior prom? Do you remember seeing me and Stacy dancing? And you dared stop me because you said I was, and I quote you, sir: "Obviously excited?" You took my dance bracelet away from me and told me to go outside.

Poor Stacy. She was never the same after that. She went full lesbian afraid that she might shame another man! And she stayed a lesbian right up until she married Gary and had three children with him! And I, I never touched another living woman sexually again - though I have touched many a woman sexually. Let that sink in for a moment.

Now, Mr. Wartburg. I will be taking back my bracelet. The one you took from me so many years ago. I'm sure you have it on your person. Give it to me. Well, he seems to have fallen asleep. I'll ask him again after he's had suitable rest. This torture must have drained him so.

When he awakens and gives me my bracelet, I will then finish my dance with Stacy. Sadly she is recently deceased and will not really enjoy the moment. Also, she's pretty stiff so cut her a break. Her dancing won't be very smooth nor graceful. Please try not to laugh.

So he's still asleep, huh? I could just search him. I'm sure he's kept the bracelet on his person all these years as a trophy. But that would rob me of my moment when he submits to me! Let's wait a little while longer, shall we. Man, the guy can snore. Drools a lot too. Yuck.

What to do in the interim. You guys are all buried up to your necks. You aren't going anywhere. I know. I shall entertain you with my many victories at the game of Dungeon and Dragons. They're on my blog but just in case you missed them. Here goes. December 4th 1987. I was in the Lair of Elderborn Elf Warrior with but a Lamp of Truth and a Wilkinson Sword of Medium Sharpness. Now, here is where it gets interesting. I rolled a...
2012-10-02 01:00:50 PM  
1 vote:
i.imgur.comView Full Size

Looks like most of the girls figured out that fark me pumps aren't too practical if you have to move in them instead of having them next to your ears.
2012-10-02 12:27:37 PM  
1 vote:
Kids today should emulate the fine example of their elders, who knew how to dance appropriately and still have a good time.
2012-10-02 10:31:48 AM  
1 vote:
bangstyle.comView Full Size
2012-10-02 09:24:11 AM  
1 vote:
FTFA : A police liaison officer at the dance contacted the police department to alert them to a potential earlier release and allow police to patrol the area as part of their normal routine.

Yea... after all, we need to keep the teens safe... from.. well themselves. And a few dozen DUI and Public Intoxication tickets and arrests... I can sleep well knowing they are safe. The city and county coffers have nothing to do with this. It is all about keeping the kids safe.

// there was a freaking gauntlet of police cars to go thru once you left our prom. In my small town, that meant every cop in a three town area was sitting one half mile down from the only road leading from the school to town. If I had a better grasp of reality, I should have skipped the prom and looted the three towns. No one to stop me. But, that darn sense of goodness and fair play stopped yet another money making enterprise...no wonder I am broke all the time... too darn nice...
2012-10-02 09:05:08 AM  
1 vote:

Cyno01: To be fair, daggering isnt really appropriate for anywhere....

/i sound old
//yeah yeah, all dancing is about simulating sex, but have some subtly about it, jeez
///for those not in the know (pnsfw)

When did Negroes forget how to dance? Hell, pasty little white boys could do better than that.
2012-10-02 08:31:37 AM  
1 vote:
You just can't have the kind of grinding that goes on in a club at a high school dance.

That said, when a girl squats down doing the chicken dance in front of me, it's game on.
Displayed 7 of 7 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

On Twitter

Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.