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(Huffington Post)   18 year-old hottie slips out of cuffs, steals police SUV, and leads cops on a 100 mph chase before hitting a spike strip and rolling the vehicle. Well, she's probably hot. It's hard to tell with all the blood   ( huffingtonpost.com) divider line
    More: Dumbass, Shelby Figueroa, SUV, Shelby Township, motor vehicle theft, Ray Woods, Seattle Police, spike strip, WHP-TV  
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28521 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Sep 2012 at 2:37 PM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2012-09-27 02:38:33 PM  
4 votes:
OR she was dating Chris Brown. One of the two.
2012-09-27 02:53:17 PM  
2 votes:

walkerhound: ProfessorOhki: Did she at least hit the lights and siren?

The answer is "yes." Dunno if it was in TFA, but it was in another I read earlier this week.

Excellent. The only thing could have made it better is if, after she rolled it, she got out and started calmly walking towards the police as the SUV exploded.
2012-09-28 01:19:29 PM  
1 vote:

walkerhound: How the HELL do you not wind up in a threesome with your gf whose daughter looks and behaves like that?

Working on it...sheesh! These things take time and planning...

/Last time I had a threesome, there were a couple of no-shows
//I still had a good time, though.
2012-09-27 09:18:25 PM  
1 vote:
More like... Disfigueroa.

Really, nobody got this one yet? Really?
2012-09-27 04:10:05 PM  
1 vote:
Hard to seperate the "injuries sustained in the MVA" from the "resisted arrest" that may or may not be in the report.
2012-09-27 03:47:03 PM  
1 vote:
Shelby Figueroa, Teen Girl

I guess that's a better title than Martha Raye, Denture Wearer
2012-09-27 03:37:15 PM  
1 vote:
I got away from the cops once. That state patrolwoman learned that if you are going to stand by your car radar gunning cars right before an exit, LEAVE THE PATROL CAR RUNNING.
2012-09-27 03:28:00 PM  
1 vote:
We could blame GTA for making kids do this but it's been over 4 years since the last one. Maybe we should blame the lack of GTA for making kids do this.
2012-09-27 03:26:26 PM  
1 vote:
One time I got caught up on the periphery of a "I ain't going to stop for you cops" chase, The cops had flattened all four of the guys tires with nail strips and surrounded him in a rolling barricade and yet the driver refused to stop until they finally forced him to the curb. They pulled him out and he was obviously drunk and had a smug attitude in that he had just "stuck it to the man." Shortly after, traffic was cleared and I went home. I saw a news item later that night and that poor man must have been a lot drunker than I thought because he had fallen down and hit his face a number of times between when the cops got him out of the car and he got his mug shot taken. It's a wonder he could have driven at all....
2012-09-27 03:18:17 PM  
1 vote:
she had a long way to go, and a short time to get there.
2012-09-27 02:57:46 PM  
1 vote:

BigBooper: Looks like she cleans up nice. To bad she's facing so much time.

Hey, to paraphrase the words of George Costanza, you'll have a great opportunity to discover something even better than conjugal visit sex... *fugitive sex*.
2012-09-27 02:56:02 PM  
1 vote:
I'd hit it. But it looks like she's been hit. By a train.
2012-09-27 02:51:25 PM  
1 vote:
i.huffpost.comView Full Size

Friction burns ... on her face.
2012-09-27 02:51:21 PM  
1 vote:
CORRECTION: A previous version of this story incorrectly stated, "Authorities say they first encouraged Figueroa on Sunday morning..." The sentence has been updated to say, "Authorities say they first encountered Figueroa on Sunday morning."
2012-09-27 02:47:38 PM  
1 vote:
Did she at least hit the lights and siren?
2012-09-27 02:47:05 PM  
1 vote:
That reminds me... I haven't hit the teen section of RedTube in a while.
2012-09-27 02:39:08 PM  
1 vote:

The Stealth Hippopotamus: hummmm nimble, flexible co-ed that doesn't mind getting her hands dirty.

A little young for me but I can work with that.

Sorry but the anti-handcuff thing is a deal breaker
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2012-09-27 11:46:44 AM  
1 vote:
Kinda want because she's a good driver. I admit the initial crash was bad, but she held off pursuing police for a half hour of high speed mountain driving as they tried to run her off the road. And that's while she was under the influence. Imagine what she could do sober. Probably spend all her time yapping on the cell phone causing wrecks as she swerves between lanes. Oh well, a dream dashed.
2012-09-27 11:00:51 AM  
1 vote:

Sybarite: [localtvkdvr.files.wordpress.com image 370x226]

The Marrage of Figueroa

2012-09-27 10:50:57 AM  
1 vote:
localtvkdvr.files.wordpress.comView Full Size
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