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(Slashdot)   GeekNet sells Slashdot, SourceForge, and FreeCode to Dice Holdings, will focus more on novelty sleeping bags   ( news.slashdot.org) divider line
    More: Interesting, dice, Dice Holdings, sourceforge, RTFM, ThinkGeek  
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2481 clicks; posted to Business » on 18 Sep 2012 at 4:13 PM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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2012-09-18 05:58:00 PM  
7 votes:
It is official; Netcraft now confirms: Slashdot is dying

One more crippling bombshell hit the already beleaguered fat nerds talking about Linux community when IDC confirmed that Slashdot's market share has dropped yet again, now down to less than a fraction of 1 percent of all message boards that normal people don't care about. Coming on the heels of a recent Netcraft survey which plainly states that Slashdot has lost more market share, this news serves to reinforce what we've known all along. Slashdot is collapsing in complete disarray, as fittingly exemplified by failing dead last ]in the recent Richard Stallman-lookalike contest.

You don't need to be a Kreskin to predict Slashdot's future. The hand writing is on the wall: Slashdot faces a bleak future. In fact there won't be any future at all for Sashdot because Slashdot is dying. Things are looking very bad for Slashdot. As many of us are already aware, Slashdot continues to lose market share. Red ink flows like a river of blood.

Cowboy Neal is the most endangered of them all, having lost 93% of recent polls. The sudden and unpleasant departures of long time article developers CmdrTaco and Jon Katz only serve to underscore the point more clearly. There can no longer be any doubt: Slashdot is dying.

Let's keep to the facts and look at the numbers.

Kuro5shin leader Rusty states that there are 7000 users of his crappy site. How many users of Ars Technica are there? Let's see. The number of fat losers at comic book shops versus people using the expression "Micro$oft" on Usenet is roughly in ratio of 5 to 1. Therefore, there are about 7000/5 = 1400 Ars Technica users. Open Source posts on Usenet are
about half of the volume of posts about people eating diswasher soap. Therefore there are about 700 users of Bitcoin. A recent article put Tolkein fans at about 80 percent of the
Slashdot market. Therefore there are (7000+1400+700)*4 = 36400 Slashdot users. This is consistent with the number of people buying Real Dolls.

Due to the troubles out of Andover, abysmal sales and so on, NewsForge went out of business and was taken over by OSDI who sell another troubled software development model. Now Feed.com is also dead, its corpse turned over to yet another charnel house.

All major surveys show that Slashdothas steadily declined in market share. Slashdot is very sick and its long term survival prospects are very dim. If Slashdot is to survive at all it will be among Cheeto-staind t-shirt wearers. Slashdot continues to decay. Nothing short of a miracle could save it at this point in time. For all practical purposes, Slashdot is dead.

Fact: Slashdot is dying
2012-09-19 08:58:24 AM  
4 votes:

A long, long time ago
I can still remember
How the trollers used to make me smile
And I knew if I had to boast
That I could try to get Boobies
And maybe I'd be happy for a while

But moderators made me shiver
With every minus they'd deliver

DoS scripts couldn't stop it
They scored them all "Offtopic"

I know that it's cheap crack they smoke
And meta-moderation's broke
At first I thought it was a joke
The day that trolltalk died

-- Chorus --
Bye, bye, MEEPTy, OOG, and Grits guy
Drove the Cruiser like some loser who starts posts with a *sigh*
Those Steve Woston posts that we all knew were a lie
Wonder what became of girls petrified?
What became of girls petrified?

Did you write a bunch of Perl?
And did it make you want to hurl
Feces at the Wall?

Can you believe these lame-ass polls?
Do you post big stretched-out assholes?
Can you make the goatse.cx link not show?

Well I know you think that Siggy sucked
Will the real Bruce Perens please stand up?

The bots don't have a clue.
Man, I dig those trolls from Shoe!

I was a rabid Free Speech advocate
With a Red Hat T-shirt and a Free Beer gut
Bought my Sony laptop working Pizza Hut
The day that trolltalk died

-- Chorus --

It's been two years since the IPO
And LNUX sinks to all-time lows
But that's not how it used to be

When Spiral showed how it was done
Trolling as Jon Erikson
Who worked for NPO Technologies

Oh and while they tried to filter posts
Somebody rooted Slashdot's host

"Crack Slashdot? That's absurd!"
Better go change your password

While JonKatz wrote a Hellmouth book
By using posts he simply took
And we flamed him till he was cooked
The day that trolltalk died

And we were singin....

-- Chorus --

10 grams. Inchfan. Didn't log out. Goddamn
The mods will find the sid real soon, man
You can't hide if you aren't AC

Your bud (George here) tried BSD
A dead Streetlawyer's tips were free
And WIPO helped letsriot turn Nazi

70 made his percents up
While 80md warned "liberals suck"

The moon does not exist
It's just a liberal myth

Oh and as Taco tried to take a nap
We forced him to invoke biatchslaps
Do you recall the flood of crap
The day that trolltalk died?

We started singin....

-- Chorus --

Oh and then we were wearing out "All your base"
And started posting monospace
The better for our penis birds

So come on, be a zealot, be a dick
You don't think Anne Marie's a chick?
Because lying's all we do about HURD

So go and push for BSD
And say GPL isn't free

Slow down, cowboy! The limit
Is one post every minute

Now tell the right wing facist slime
Infringing on Your Rights Online
That they can't censor all the time
The day that trolltalk died

-- Chorus --

I met a troll they called The Rev
And asked him if CD BREAK HEAD
He said, "That's old. Get over it."

And with all the courage I could muster
"Imagine what a Beowulf cluster...."
But it wasn't worth the trouble to submit

The karma caps are just plain jive
And everyone's moved to K5

The steelcage has grown rusted
And Geekizoid is busted

The three sites I don't see for weeks
Segfault, kernel, Comp-u-geek
Code is not art. This ain't Freshmeat
The day that trolltalk died

/ 20721 4ever!
2012-09-19 01:19:11 PM  
2 votes:

MithrandirBooga: Happy Hours: Slashdot used to be cool.

I really do like their moderation system, but if I had mod points, I'd vote this shiat down.

Their moderation system is crap. It allows one of the worst cases of groupthink to flounder on the net. Any single comment pointing out how their article bashing MS might not be entirely true gets you downmodded into oblivion, then trolls follow every single post you make for weeks afterwards and spitefully downmod those too. Those people are animals who have pushed all the sane commenters away a long time ago.

I just voted every other post in this thread smart and funny, because I can't downvote you.
2012-09-19 10:43:12 AM  
1 vote:

Vegan Meat Popsicle:
The day that trolltalk died

When I saw that classic on /. yesterday, I was ready to offer my left nut for mod points.

 ( \

...except the only thing interested in my nuts was a damn penis bird.

A couple of other old-timers with mod points noticed it. (The post, I mean, not the bird. The posting to the internet bulletin board, I mean, not the rod on which the bird is sitting.)
2012-09-18 09:59:40 PM  
1 vote:
The "Moon": A Ridiculous Liberal Myth

It amazes me that so many allegedly "educated" people have fallen so quickly and so hard for a fraudulent fabrication of such laughable proportions. The very idea that a gigantic ball of rock happens to orbit our planet, showing itself in neat, four-week cycles -- with the same side facing us all the time -- is ludicrous. Furthermore, it is an insult to common sense and a damnable affront to intellectual honesty and integrity. That people actually believe it is evidence that the liberals have wrested the last vestiges of control of our public school system from decent, God-fearing Americans (as if any further evidence was needed! Daddy's Roommate? God Almighty!)

Documentaries such as Enemy of the State have accurately portrayed the elaborate, byzantine network of surveillance satellites that the liberals have sent into space to spy on law-abiding Americans. Equipped with technology developed by Handgun Control, Inc., these satellites have the ability to detect firearms from hundreds of kilometers up. That's right, neighbors .. the next time you're out in the backyard exercising your Second Amendment rights, the liberals will see it! These satellites are sensitive enough to tell the difference between a Colt .45 and a .38 Special! And when they detect you with a firearm, their computers cross-reference the address to figure out your name, and then an enormous database housed at Berkeley is updated with information about you.

Of course, this all works fine during the day, but what about at night? Even the liberals can't control the rotation of the Earth to prevent nightfall from setting in (only Joshua was able to ask for that particular favor!) That's where the "moon" comes in. Powered by nuclear reactors, the "moon" is nothing more than an enormous balloon, emitting trillions of candlepower of gun-revealing light. Piloted by key members of the liberal community, the "moon" is strategically moved across the country, pointing out those who dare to make use of their God-given rights at night!

Yes, I know this probably sounds paranoid and preposterous, but consider this. Despite what the revisionist historians tell you, there is no mention of the "moon" anywhere in literature or historical documents -- anywhere -- before 1950. That is when it was initially launched. When President Josef Kennedy, at the State of the Union address, proclaimed "We choose to go to the moon", he may as well have said "We choose to go to the weather balloon." The subsequent faking of a "moon" landing on national TV was the first step in a long history of the erosion of our constitutional rights by leftists in this country. No longer can we hide from our government when the sun goes down.
2012-09-18 05:38:57 PM  
1 vote:
Slashdot, website, dead at 55

I just heard some sad news on talk radio - Geek/tech website Slashdot was found dead in its Maine home this morning. There weren't any more details. I'm sure everyone in the Slashdot community will miss Slashdot - even if you didn't enjoy its work, there's no denying its contributions to popular culture. Truly an American icon.
2012-09-18 04:34:43 PM  
1 vote:

RexTalionis: Oh, meh. Dice is going to cock it up.

Is there really anything left to cock? Slashdot is mostly now just a collection of 2-day-old stories and ~100 comments that range from "Meh, I guess" to "Wow that was a great troll on Adequacy.org 9 years ago."
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