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(Ars Technica)   "Dungeons & Dragons Next"...begun, the Nerd Wars have   ( divider line
    More: Interesting, Dungeons & Dragons, classic games, Wizards of the Coast, Gary Gygax, cohesiveness, Mike Mearls, PAX  
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7246 clicks; posted to Geek » on 17 Sep 2012 at 2:12 AM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2012-09-17 01:19:36 PM  
1 vote: Full Size
2012-09-17 01:11:12 PM  
1 vote:
ED: You see a well groomed garden. In the middle, on a small hill, you see a gazebo.
ERIC: A gazebo? What color is it?
ED: (Pause) It's white, Eric.
ERIC: How far away is it?
ED: About fifty yards.
ERIC: How big is it?
ED: (Pause) It's about thirty feet across, fifteen feet high, with a pointed top.
ERIC: I use my sword to detect good on it.
ED: It's not good, Eric. It's a gazebo!
ERIC: (Pause) I call out to it.
ED: It won't answer. It's a gazebo!
ERIC: (Pause) I sheathe my sword and draw my bow and arrows. Does it respond in any way?
ED: No, Eric, it's a gazebo!
ERIC: I shoot it with my bow (roll to hit). What happened?
ED: There is now a gazebo with an arrow sticking out of it.
ERIC: (Pause) Wasn't it wounded?
ED: Of course not, Eric! It's a gazebo!
ERIC: (Whimper) But that was a plus three arrow!
ED: It's a gazebo, Eric, a gazebo! If you really want to try to destroy it, you could try to chop it with an axe, I suppose, or you could try to burn it, but I don't know why anybody would even try. It's a *)@#! gazebo!
ERIC: (Long pause. He has no axe or fire spells.) I run away.
ED: (Thoroughly frustrated) It's too late. You've woken up the gazebo, and it catches you and eats you.
ERIC: (Reaching for his dice) Maybe I'll roll up a fire-using mage so I can avenge my Paladin.
2012-09-17 06:23:16 AM  
1 vote:

RoyFokker'sGhost: I'm a long-time Realms lover, from back in 1st ed and before the novels came out.I would say that the Pathfinder Campign setting is just as rich and vibrant as the Realms were back in 1st/2nd edition. The difference is the horde of novels that have come out set in the Realms, basically adding another couple dozen world designers to flesh things out. One of the big advantages Pathfinder has is that they avoid a lot of the stock tropes (especially in regards to race) that the Realms has. The history in particular is well done, integrating a lot of themes together. Humans were raised up by the Aboleth, giving a very Lovecraftian theme.

You called?

Although I am an Aboleth, the game I still run from the 80s til now is:

img.photobucket.comView Full Size
2012-09-17 06:14:54 AM  
1 vote:
Me: Wanna play DND?

Friend: Sure. Roll a D20.

Me: uhh... ok. I got a five.

Friend: Your head explodes.
2012-09-17 04:31:07 AM  
1 vote:
Ah, but MERP (and it's parent, Rolemaster) had the most entertaining critical hit tables of ALL TIME.

Ahhh, to roll the dice and kick a man in the crotch so hard his lower body explodes and showers a 10 foot diameter circle in gore. And... man bits. Ewwwwww.

/Pardon me, Bubbariel, you've got some wang hanging from your eartip.
2012-09-17 12:42:03 AM  
1 vote:
FTFA: Four years later, we still have yet to reach level 11.

Now you know how the elves feel. I mean seriously, you are 400 years old and you are still level 1? Are you farking slow in the head?
2012-09-16 09:57:18 PM  
1 vote:

doglover: Our local group's been playing Next since it was released two months ago, subs.

Did I say "begun, the Nerd Wars will"? I think not.

/still use 2nd edition
//I attack the darkness
2012-09-16 09:25:10 PM  
1 vote:
I agree with the author 4e sucks.

Attack the gazebo!!!
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