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(Buzzfeed)   The complete guide on how to insult people the Shakespearean way   ( buzzfeed.com) divider line
    More: PSA, Shakespeare, TxBlackLabel, DaniMarie  
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10075 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Aug 2012 at 12:11 PM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

63 Comments     (+0 »)
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2012-08-26 04:16:28 PM  
What's wrong with "piss off, you git"?
2012-08-26 04:16:30 PM  
img844.imageshack.usView Full Size
2012-08-26 04:16:51 PM  
"Frailty, thy name is woman"

"Get thee to a nunnery"

...I'd love to hang out with The Shakes. There was also that CNN story about a weed pipe...
2012-08-26 04:32:50 PM  
Yeasty milk-livered maggot-pie
2012-08-26 04:55:42 PM  
Old list is old (at least 20 years). Also, it was Edward de Vere. "William Shakespeare" never wrote more than his name on some contracts.
2012-08-26 05:06:13 PM  
Therefore, you
clown, abandon,--which is in the vulgar leave,--the
society,--which in the boorish is company,--of this
female,--which in the common is woman; which
together is, abandon the society of this female, or,
clown, thou perishest; or, to thy better
understanding, diest; or, to wit I kill thee, make
thee away, translate thy life into death, thy
liberty into bondage: I will deal in poison with
thee, or in bastinado, or in steel; I will bandy
with thee in faction; I will o'errun thee with
policy; I will kill thee a hundred and fifty ways:
therefore tremble and depart.

(As You Like It)
2012-08-26 09:03:17 PM  

jasonvatch: A text version of the list for those who want to automate the process: Link

I want to sample Samuel L Jackson reading each of those words and build an app around it.
2012-08-26 10:50:06 PM  
So weird, I was just thinking about this the other day.
2012-08-27 12:08:16 AM  
Twelfth Night:

Go, write it in a martial hand; be curst and brief;
it is no matter how witty, so it be eloquent and fun
of invention: taunt him with the licence of ink:
if thou thou'st him some thrice, it shall not be
amiss; and as many lies as will lie in thy sheet of
paper, although the sheet were big enough for the
bed of Ware in England, set 'em down: go, about it.
Let there be gall enough in thy ink, though thou
write with a goose-pen, no matter: about it.
2012-08-27 01:25:59 AM  

CygnusDarius: I preffer Cyrano de Bergerac, especially for my nose retorts:

"My nose is Gargantuan! You little Pig-snout, you tiny Monkey-Nostrils, you virtually invisible Pekinese-Puss, don't you realize that a nose like mine is both scepter and orb, a monument to me superiority? A great nose is the banner of a great man, a generous heart, a towering spirit, an expansive soul--such as I unmistakably am, and such as you dare not to dream of being, with your bilious weasel's eyes and no nose to keep them apart! With your face as lacking in all distinction--as lacking, I say, in interest, as lacking in pride, in imagination, in honesty, in lyricism--in a word, as lacking in nose as that other offensively bland expanse at the opposite end of your cringing spine--which I now remove from my sight by stringent application of my boot!"

This is actually the first time I read the english translation. Good, very good, but, as is usual of such things, the original is much better.

My favourite English insult:
"I put it to you, sir, that you are more than adequately versed in the sin of Onan, sir !"
-James May trying to provoke his producer into being impertinent with him so that he may challenge him to a duel.
2012-08-27 01:34:56 AM  
Came here for whoreson, beetle-headed, flap-ear'd knaves.

Leaving satisfied.
2012-08-27 04:26:49 AM  
2012-08-27 09:15:47 AM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: I remember our English lit teacher passing out sheets of this in... 95? 96?

I remember it from 84 or 85. We had a darn good time with that list.
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