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(CNN)   The man single-handedly responsible for clogging Walmart aisles with scooters occupied by obese smokers who eat nothing but pastries celebrates the 40th anniversary of his invention   (thechart.blogs.cnn.com) divider line
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7388 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Aug 2012 at 1:11 PM (7 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2012-08-22 9:44:57 AM  
and has been invited to be the keynote speaker at the RNC?
 
2012-08-22 9:49:43 AM  
Subby, if you're complaining about obese scooter-bound smokers clogging Wal-Mart aisles, that already means you're shopping in Wal-Mart. So...yeah.
 
2012-08-22 9:59:21 AM  
Colonel Sanders? And if that's too racist: Ray Kroc?
 
2012-08-22 10:13:03 AM  
scooters occupied by obese smokers who eat nothing but pastries

Fat French Daleks?

Exterminer! Exterminer!
 
2012-08-22 10:41:38 AM  

dittybopper: scooters occupied by obese smokers who eat nothing but pastries

Fat French Daleks?

Exterminer! Exterminer!


I was looking for a picture of a fat Dalek, but this drew my attention away from the search

doctorwhotoys.netView Full Size
 
2012-08-22 11:37:31 AM  

FirstNationalBastard: I was looking for a picture of a fat Dalek, but this drew my attention away from the search


Thank you, internet.
 
2012-08-22 11:39:19 AM  

FirstNationalBastard: dittybopper: scooters occupied by obese smokers who eat nothing but pastries

Fat French Daleks?

Exterminer! Exterminer!

I was looking for a picture of a fat Dalek, but this drew my attention away from the search

[doctorwhotoys.net image 850x732]



Heh! "I pitty da fool who tries to exterminate!!"
 
2012-08-22 12:30:08 PM  
He invented cigarettes and pastries?
 
2012-08-22 1:14:32 PM  
Wait- you can get pastries at Wal-Mart?

/On oxygen, but never smoked. Trying hard to stay out of a scooter....
 
2012-08-22 1:15:44 PM  
Dean Kamen?
 
2012-08-22 1:17:40 PM  
Why exactly do fat people smoke? I mean, come on!

I can see why one would smoke to keep from getting fat, but once you're already there, what's the point?

I find that to be far more disgusting than some fatty mawing down on 4 Big Macs.
 
2012-08-22 1:20:29 PM  
Eh, the last time I was at Walmart, it was clogged with families (particularly people with giant strollers), not fatties on a Hoverround-type vehicle.

There were a lot of fatties walking around, though. They don't bother me. Some people are fat. Get over it.
 
2012-08-22 1:22:35 PM  
Skip Walmart.

I remember taking my mom to Disney World. She's a large woman with bad knees, she needed some "help" to get around.

I refer to that trip as "Granny Theft Auto."
 
2012-08-22 1:23:31 PM  
There are those disabled that actually need a scooter then there are the rest of the Wal-Mart community that are just too lazy to get off their fat arses.
 
2012-08-22 1:23:56 PM  
Hey! You dented my ride.

What ya got there? The 6 volt? I did you a favor.
 
2012-08-22 1:24:33 PM  

URAPNIS: Why exactly do fat people smoke? I mean, come on!

I can see why one would smoke to keep from getting fat, but once you're already there, what's the point?

I find that to be far more disgusting than some fatty mawing down on 4 Big Macs.


Why wouldn't they? It's not like smoking is going to affect their life expectancy... they've already seen to that.
 
2012-08-22 1:26:02 PM  
Also, the WalMartz near me has recently purchased all new jumbo sized carts. Which hold much more cheap crap from China. And are too big to pass eachother in the narrow aisles without banging together.
 
2012-08-22 1:27:32 PM  
Good for him. His life history suggests that his energies were directed toward solving a legitimate problem.

Meanwhile, the life histories of some of his customers should be directed toward avoiding the Burger King drive-thru lane.
 
2012-08-22 1:28:52 PM  

Snargi: There are those disabled that actually need a scooter then there are the rest of the Wal-Mart community that are just too lazy to get off their fat arses.


I just recently saw my first person (woman) walk into a Wal-mart, then start looking around for "her" scooter to take her around the store. When she couldn't find one, she was pissed off and tried to get one of the ones that was charging. But it was too dead. I left before I could observe more of the hilarity.
 
2012-08-22 1:29:18 PM  
I was in a US Walmart recently and, I have to admit, I was shocked by the fleet of electric scooters at the front door.

Then I was shocked even more to see able-bodied, 40-something, slightly overweight women riding them in droves with their kids running around them like a little cloud. There is no way most of these people needed a scooter.

Don't get me wrong, we have a couple of scooters available at the Walmart near me. And the shoppers are still the most annoying, inconsiderate types out there ... just like the US. But but we don't have fleets of scooters available and I have never noticed someone using one that clearly did not need to (although I admit that could be hard to tell).
 
2012-08-22 1:30:07 PM  
It's the two young, skinny people who are too lazy to walk and think it would be fun to ride the carts around that irritate the hell out of me. They always seem to run in pairs too. Either a guy and girl, or two girls.

Yeah, I'm fat.

Yeah, I walk. (Except when I had a broken ankle. Then I rode, and felt like everyone was looking at me making judgments about me being fat and riding a cart.)
 
2012-08-22 1:31:05 PM  
Those things are awesome. As a young rapscallion, I once raced a friend through Wal-Mart on scooters. I had a commanding lead when security arrived to declare a winner, or whatever it was they were trying to do as we ran away from them.
 
2012-08-22 1:31:41 PM  

FirstNationalBastard: dittybopper: scooters occupied by obese smokers who eat nothing but pastries

Fat French Daleks?

Exterminer! Exterminer!

I was looking for a picture of a fat Dalek, but this drew my attention away from the search

[doctorwhotoys.net image 850x732]


Possible 13th doctor?

/still not a ginger
 
2012-08-22 1:34:06 PM  

Farking Canuck: I was in a US Walmart recently and, I have to admit, I was shocked by the fleet of electric scooters at the front door.


Primary reason you see them are the Americans with Disabilities Act, which requires all businesses to make "reasonable accomodations" to persons with disabilities. There's probably some mandate somewhere from the Department of Commerce or such that specifies that for x thousand square foot of store, you need y scooters or wheelchairs available to your customers.
 
2012-08-22 1:34:21 PM  
It is ok as long as they wear their Three Wolf T Shirt.
 
2012-08-22 1:37:02 PM  

Farking Canuck: Then I was shocked even more to see able-bodied, 40-something, slightly overweight women riding them in droves with their kids running around them like a little cloud. There is no way most of these people needed a scooter.
.


That describes me. I was called a lazy biatch by someone when I got dropped off at the door of a grocery store to make it to the scooters. If I walk more than 50 feet or so-even on a tank-my blood oxygen drops and-depending on what drugs I'm on- I hit the floor. I see a rare disease specialist whose primary patient group has LAM. These are 20-30 year old women who are healthy looking, usually have kids (it seems to like to strike new moms) and are going to be dead in 10 years.
Most people with these sorts of lung diseases (and there are many of them) don't look anything but healthy...until their O2 bottoms out and they hit the floor.
 
2012-08-22 1:39:20 PM  

Smelly Pirate Hooker: Eh, the last time I was at Walmart, it was clogged with families (particularly people with giant strollers), not fatties on a Hoverround-type vehicle.

There were a lot of fatties walking around, though. They don't bother me. Some people are fat. Get over it.


too high to get over 'em, too dangerous to go under 'em and I don't have time to go around 'em.
 
2012-08-22 1:40:05 PM  
It's good to see the comments stay on topic for once.
 
2012-08-22 1:40:27 PM  

joeshill: It's the two young, skinny people who are too lazy to walk and think it would be fun to ride the carts around that irritate the hell out of me. They always seem to run in pairs too. Either a guy and girl, or two girls.

Yeah, I'm fat.

Yeah, I walk. (Except when I had a broken ankle. Then I rode, and felt like everyone was looking at me making judgments about me being fat and riding a cart.)


imontheinternet: Those things are awesome. As a young rapscallion, I once raced a friend through Wal-Mart on scooters. I had a commanding lead when security arrived to declare a winner, or whatever it was they were trying to do as we ran away from them.


Hey imontheinternet, joeshill hates you.

/Runs
 
2012-08-22 1:43:07 PM  
joeshill: "There's probably some mandate"

There isn't.
 
2012-08-22 1:43:59 PM  
My grandmother used to need one of those carts when we went to Sam's Club and things like that, so thanks bold inventor guy.
 
2012-08-22 1:45:24 PM  

Farking Canuck: I was in a US Walmart recently and, I have to admit, I was shocked by the fleet of electric scooters at the front door.

Then I was shocked even more to see able-bodied, 40-something, slightly overweight women riding them in droves with their kids running around them like a little cloud. There is no way most of these people needed a scooter.

Don't get me wrong, we have a couple of scooters available at the Walmart near me. And the shoppers are still the most annoying, inconsiderate types out there ... just like the US. But but we don't have fleets of scooters available and I have never noticed someone using one that clearly did not need to (although I admit that could be hard to tell).


What no one understands is that there is only one WalMart. Ever wonder why no matter what WalMart you visit the people there are all the same? If you go to the WalMart in Cousinlove Georgia and then immediately fly to the Walmart in Shenzhen China, you'll likely see the exactly the same atrocities walking around. The reason for this is that they're literally the same people.

The trick is that the door/foyer area is actually an inter-dimensional gate (the fabric of space-time was ripped due to the sheer total mass of the original Wal-Mart customers). And that's why you always see so many morbos there... they need to be there in order to keep the gate open.

Think about it... it makes perfect sense...
 
2012-08-22 1:45:52 PM  
Going on the bike path side-by-side since 1972 as well? What kills me are the little rear-view mirrors on the ends of the handlebars. They never use them.
 
kg
2012-08-22 1:46:11 PM  
qph.cf.quoracdn.netView Full Size
 
2012-08-22 1:47:26 PM  
img834.imageshack.usView Full Size


Coo! Coo! Hot pursuit!

/at 2mph
 
2012-08-22 1:48:16 PM  
I was going to post a couple of pics from this site, but I couldn't decide which one. So I'll just let everyone browse instead.

/NSF Lunch
 
2012-08-22 1:54:12 PM  
/is getting a kick out of....
//yeah right
 
2012-08-22 1:56:34 PM  
img.youtube.comView Full Size
 
2012-08-22 1:56:46 PM  

funk_soul_bubby: joeshill: It's the two young, skinny people who are too lazy to walk and think it would be fun to ride the carts around that irritate the hell out of me. They always seem to run in pairs too. Either a guy and girl, or two girls.

Yeah, I'm fat.

Yeah, I walk. (Except when I had a broken ankle. Then I rode, and felt like everyone was looking at me making judgments about me being fat and riding a cart.)

imontheinternet: Those things are awesome. As a young rapscallion, I once raced a friend through Wal-Mart on scooters. I had a commanding lead when security arrived to declare a winner, or whatever it was they were trying to do as we ran away from them.

Hey imontheinternet, joeshill hates you.

/Runs


Yep. Shaking my fat fist now. To no effect...
 
2012-08-22 1:58:23 PM  
bannedinhollywood.comView Full Size



One does not get to be THIS much of a fatass without a total lack of self control.
 
2012-08-22 2:01:00 PM  
I don't have a problem with motorized scooters in stores, but whoever invented this is an asshole:

whoeverdesignedthisisanahole.files.wordpress.comView Full Size
 
2012-08-22 2:02:42 PM  
Why can't those people just stay home?
Ernestine

Is what I think of every time federal help is on the chopping block
 
2012-08-22 2:02:42 PM  
No picture of Costanza?

Fark, I am disapoint
 
2012-08-22 2:03:22 PM  

stonicus: [img.youtube.com image 480x360]


Of course as soon as I post, there it is.
 
2012-08-22 2:03:38 PM  
cue the Trombone Fat Person Swagger
 
2012-08-22 2:04:46 PM  

Jon iz teh kewl: cue the Trombone Fat Person Swagger


Hey, stop that. Cut it out!
 
2012-08-22 2:17:03 PM  

Farking Canuck: I was in a US Walmart recently and, I have to admit, I was shocked by the fleet of electric scooters at the front door.

Then I was shocked even more to see able-bodied, 40-something, slightly overweight women riding them in droves with their kids running around them like a little cloud. There is no way most of these people needed a scooter.

Don't get me wrong, we have a couple of scooters available at the Walmart near me. And the shoppers are still the most annoying, inconsiderate types out there ... just like the US. But but we don't have fleets of scooters available and I have never noticed someone using one that clearly did not need to (although I admit that could be hard to tell).


A fellow farker dared me to ride around in Walmart on one of the scooters, wearing my FARK shirt with my first ever greenlit headline on it, while breastfeeding my kid. He wants to send the pic into peopleofwalmart.com

/I had better get on that soon before the kid is weaned
//but I guess a better pic would be if I did that with my 9 year-old! I might even be the "feature creature" on their site if I did that!
 
2012-08-22 2:23:04 PM  

blatz514: Jon iz teh kewl: cue the Trombone Fat Person Swagger

Hey, stop that. Cut it out!


He has a glandular problem!
 
2012-08-22 2:38:20 PM  

The more you eat the more you fart: [www.bannedinhollywood.com image 500x375]


One does not get to be THIS much of a fatass without a total lack of self control.


Or sickness, or injury.

However, given the soda in front of him, I'm willing to side with you on this one.
 
2012-08-22 2:46:02 PM  

LabGrrl: Farking Canuck: Then I was shocked even more to see able-bodied, 40-something, slightly overweight women riding them in droves with their kids running around them like a little cloud. There is no way most of these people needed a scooter.

That describes me. I was called a lazy biatch by someone when I got dropped off at the door of a grocery store to make it to the scooters. If I walk more than 50 feet or so-even on a tank-my blood oxygen drops and-depending on what drugs I'm on- I hit the floor. I see a rare disease specialist whose primary patient group has LAM. These are 20-30 year old women who are healthy looking, usually have kids (it seems to like to strike new moms) and are going to be dead in 10 years.
Most people with these sorts of lung diseases (and there are many of them) don't look anything but healthy...until their O2 bottoms out and they hit the floor.


I did say 'most' because I recognize that not all movement issues are visible.

My mother has plaque build-up in her veins in her legs so she has really bad circulation. If she walks more than 50 feet her oxygen starved leg muscles feel like she's running a marathon. She would certainly be justified riding one of these things but you wouldn't guess by looking at her ... especially when she walked in without assistance or a cane.
 
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