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(USA Today)   Powerball jackpot rises to $305 million. What would YOU do with the cash?   ( usatoday.com) divider line
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4765 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Aug 2012 at 7:04 PM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

339 Comments     (+0 »)
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2012-08-12 04:02:11 PM  
610 chicks at the same time.
2012-08-12 04:05:18 PM  
Buy a congressman.
2012-08-12 04:05:51 PM  
Take it all out in $1 coins.
2012-08-12 04:11:22 PM  
Pay off my Blockbuster late fees.
2012-08-12 04:12:58 PM  
Two submitter's moms at the same time, duh!
2012-08-12 04:23:52 PM  
Charitable trust. Honestly.
2012-08-12 04:31:21 PM  
Are we doing this again?
2012-08-12 04:46:23 PM  
Endow the shiat out of an animal rescue.
2012-08-12 04:52:38 PM  
Finally pay off your mom, subby!
2012-08-12 04:57:13 PM  
I sure as shiat wouldn't buy any of you people TotalFark.
2012-08-12 05:08:24 PM  
I have a couple of ideas:

1. buy a chinese junk, hire a crew and sail down the east coast and around the Caribbean for a while.
2. put $100k into a bank account, and hire a local law firm to go down to traffic court and represent each and everyone there to the best of their ability...until they account runs dry.
3. try and buy WoTC and convert Torg to d20. hey - it cant be anymore fail than 4th edition.
4. go to the SCA ruling council and put $2 million on the table. the society can take the cash...but only if they name me a knight AND grant me the right to make 6 other people of my choice fellow knights. lets put those principals to the test, shall we?
5. donate $2 million to the local Democratic party. donate $4 million to the local libertarians...then sit back and watch the local GOP flail around and complain about how unfair it all is...
6. buy my sister a house on the Chesapeake bay. I'll need a home berth for my ship anyway.
7. buy 50 iPad threes. hand them out to everyone I know.
8. build the ULTIMATE PC game machine. make console players cry in left4dead 2 matches.
9. build a castle for myself. anyone who wishes to do so may move in with me free of rent...but they have to donate time to helping maintain the grounds and house. I hate dusting. there will be a pool and a jacuzzi tho.
2012-08-12 05:12:39 PM  

Vodka Zombie: Buy a congressman.

With only $305 million? You'll be lucky to get a Governor at that price.
2012-08-12 05:18:11 PM  
I would invest half of it in low risk mutual funds and then take the other half over to my friend Asadulah who works in securities...
2012-08-12 05:21:00 PM  
I think I would buy...

i263.photobucket.comView Full Size

... a new suit.
2012-08-12 05:23:24 PM  
Pay off most of my student loans.
2012-08-12 05:24:13 PM  

Gwendolyn: Pay off most of my student loans.

i'm not sure $305 million will cover it.
2012-08-12 05:32:01 PM  
I'd buy a whole bunch of land on Hawaii, start growing sugar cane and then open my own premium rum distillery, bringing much needed employment and capital to the Big Island. I'd use the unprocessed cane for fuel for the stills. I'd also get involved with the recycling folks, and start melting down glass and plastic to make the bottles, to relieve the pressure on the island's landfills.

Then I'd hire a few really competent people to run the place so that I could lounge in a hammock reading, or sitting in the volcanic hot springs all day, because I could.
2012-08-12 05:33:08 PM  
Buy houses for myself, my son, my sister and my niece. Set aside money for future property taxes and bank the rest.

I'd probably take a cruise to Alaska as well.
2012-08-12 05:34:48 PM  

Bathia_Mapes: Buy houses for myself, my son, my sister and my niece. Set aside money for future property taxes and bank the rest.

I'd probably take a cruise to Alaska as well.

Forgot to mention that I'd also be making donations to Greenhill Humane Society, Food for Lane County (local food bank) and Friends of the Eugene Library.
2012-08-12 05:37:13 PM  
Launch a 304 million dollar campaign to legalize marijuana. Hold the other million for if it works.
2012-08-12 05:43:44 PM  
Want an actual answer? Run for the Senate.

Yes I'm serious. I'd run for President but I'm not old enough.
2012-08-12 05:50:01 PM  
1. Completely renovate house. Rent very nice apartment while renovations go on, cause I do not want to be in the middle of that nonsense. Hire lots of people to keep both house and apartment nice.
2. Two beach houses. One for me, one that my friends can use.
3. Some animal welfare agencies would get a lot of money.
4. Some friends who have had some rough times are going to get some real help.
5. Drinks on the house!
6. Stop worrying about whether or not I'll be able to retire.
2012-08-12 05:59:04 PM  

Cyno01: 610 chicks at the same time.

Done in one
2012-08-12 06:07:18 PM  
I wouldn't do anything because I wouldn't win because I would never buy Powerball because it's a tax on stupid.

/just sayin'
2012-08-12 06:25:08 PM  
Buy a Totalfark subscription for every single Farking one of you.
2012-08-12 06:30:33 PM  

notmtwain: Buy a Totalfark subscription for every single Farking one of you.

I'm still not going to sleep with you!
2012-08-12 06:36:50 PM  

notmtwain: Buy a Totalfark subscription for every single Farking one of you.

Drew might even be able to buy a color TV!
2012-08-12 06:48:30 PM  
Hunt Ted Nugent.
2012-08-12 06:53:47 PM  
Lobby for tax increases on the lower and middle classes
2012-08-12 06:54:02 PM  
Buy a small salmon river in the north west. Raise llamas and beefalo on the hill sides.
2012-08-12 07:02:53 PM  
I would buy a farm and raise yaks and rabbits and chickens and pay someone else to take care of and process them because I"ll be traveling a LOT with my husband.
2012-08-12 07:05:27 PM  
My first dream - fund military coup d'etats against Subsaharan African despots.
2012-08-12 07:08:52 PM  
step one: win lottery
step two: buy fark.com
step three:??????
step four: Profit
2012-08-12 07:09:53 PM  
Ban all the fark accounts I don't like.
2012-08-12 07:10:04 PM  
Buy 152,500,000 Powerball tickets
2012-08-12 07:10:48 PM  
I'd get a larger shark tank for my volcano lair, and maybe a space station with a giant laser.
2012-08-12 07:11:02 PM  
Pay Drew's tab at the Chase.
2012-08-12 07:11:51 PM  
I would buy myself a town, and write my own laws.

Worked for Hondo Crouch.
2012-08-12 07:12:12 PM  
Travel. Learn. Never work ever again.
2012-08-12 07:12:43 PM  

Vodka Zombie: Buy a congressman.

thought that just took 10$ and a cheap bottle of wine....

At least that what all the big businesses say...

BalugaJoe: Pay Drew's tab at the Chase.

fark man, that's national debt lightening change...
2012-08-12 07:13:02 PM  
1/3 would be for parties for me and my friends
1/3 would be for houses and fast cars and stuff
the last 1/3 I'd just blow frivolously
2012-08-12 07:13:04 PM  
Ha. Every time the lottery goes above $X we get this thread. I can sum up the responses this will see:

1) I'd spend it in ridiculously nerdy ways.
2) I wouldn't change and put most of it in the bank for my progeny.
4) Buy fark or everyone fark or 50000000 fark accounts or some such retardedness
2012-08-12 07:13:12 PM  
After I take it all out in cash and roll naked in it for a full day?
Put half in a trust to take care of my and my husbands siblings for the rest of their lives. Give a chunk to charities that are important to us. Buy a house and a little piece of land and never see or speak to another living soul who is not related to me.
2012-08-12 07:13:19 PM  

Ambivalence: I would buy a farm and raise yaks and rabbits and chickens and pay someone else to take care of and process them because I"ll be traveling a LOT with my husband.

You wouldn't process your husband first?
2012-08-12 07:13:23 PM  
Buy warehouse space downtown. Convert it to an Olympic style swimming venue. Invite inner city children to come and learn how to swim.
2012-08-12 07:13:38 PM  
Put it in the bank for a rainy day. Or I guess at that amount, a rainy century.
2012-08-12 07:13:52 PM  
Pay Mitt Romney's taxes this year for him.

/and still have 304,999,999 left over
2012-08-12 07:14:21 PM  
Buy my father a red Corvette. He made me promise him that when I was little.

Go back to college. Get a PhD in computer science. Sit around and play video games all day. Whenever anyone asks why I don't do something more productive, I'd say, "Hey, that's DOCTOR do something productive!"
2012-08-12 07:14:40 PM  
I would quit my job in such a way that would require several city permits, a lot of clean-up and probably one hell of a lawyer.
2012-08-12 07:15:19 PM  

Cyno01: 610 chicks at the same time.

That's 305 mill, not 122 thou. Most gals in the biz will do doubles for about 200 each. Especially since you're unlike to "do" more than a half-dozen or so, even with viagra and speed keeping you going. The rest will just cuddle each other, make moaning noises, check the clock regularly, then take the cash and say "so long, sucker, please call again."
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