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(Creative Loafing Charlotte)   Top 10 things that are good for you now but will kill you in 20 years. Yes, hot yoga and raw foods are in there   ( divider line
    More: Obvious, raw foods, political conventions, Next Big Thing, Big Whoop, Jerry Springer, Emilio Estevez, Chesterfield, Razr  
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19346 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Aug 2012 at 11:31 AM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

81 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

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2012-08-08 09:26:05 AM  
God, that was inane.
2012-08-08 10:30:35 AM  
11) Quickly tossed together blog lists.

I'm pretty sure they're giving me ass cancer.
2012-08-08 10:31:46 AM  
You said yoga
2012-08-08 10:34:14 AM  
Wow that was bad.

Someone actually received money for writing that, I presume?
2012-08-08 10:41:32 AM  
ChickFilA? I am feeling so out of the loop because the one time I was there when visiting my sister years ago I had no idea it would turn up in so many FARK threads. I just went where my sister's friend wanted us to meet for lunch and I had a chicken sandwich and it was OK. No ChickFilA's for a hundred miles from my isolated hicktown.
2012-08-08 10:43:52 AM  
Really? This article gets greened?
2012-08-08 11:15:20 AM  

RichieLaw: Really? This article gets greened?

2012-08-08 11:31:56 AM  
What the fark am I reading?
2012-08-08 11:36:18 AM  
Your blog sucks.
2012-08-08 11:36:28 AM  
I think that article just gave me Tourettes. What the farking god damn shiatfark hellshiat assrape turdeating biatchlick was that?
2012-08-08 11:38:50 AM  
Read like a painfully long post in a Fark thread rife with forced "clever, edgy" humor.
2012-08-08 11:40:14 AM  
There are some really shiatty bloggers making green today. We need to up our standards a bit here, fark.
2012-08-08 11:40:38 AM  
Read TFA they said. "Hot Yoga" they said.
2012-08-08 11:44:01 AM  
Everything my Mother said was good for us when we were kids is a deadly poison. Sometimes I suspect that she was trying to kill us. Conversely, everything that was bad for us then is good for us now.

Milk and dairy products
Fruits and vegetables

pretty much all food is deadly. You just have to eat as much as you can and hope that it is slow enough poison to keep you alive until you die.

Water is not safe,.

Air is not safe.

Nothing in our households or work places is safe.

Soil is necessary for a healthy immune system so you can eat as much mud as you like until the age of five, at which point people will begin to worry.

Worms are not only not going to kill you, they are very high in protein and low in fat.

Fortunately I refused to eat Grandmother Brantgoose's goulash and ate more chocolate cake than any human has a right too.

My brother was a push-over for the dog and gave him chocolate cake. Contrary to claims that dogs can not digest chocolate cake and will be sick if you feed them too much chocolate, our dog loved the stuff. I used to be mean to the dog and not give him any. In fact, I'd make yum-yum signs just to taunt him for begging. I was probably wasting my time, although not the cake.

I often wonder how the human race has survived eating precisely the wrong things in the wrong amounts since the beginning of time. Sheer perversity, I assume.

There are some things that are still deadly, even though my Mother warned me against them. Carbon monoxide, for example, is bad for you in even minute quantitities. Too much Sun damages the skin even though we all suffer from vitamin D shortages North of the Mason Dixon line. You shouldn't bogart the uranium--leave some for other people.

But you'd have to be a chemist to know the names of the stuff hasn't changed sides a dozen times in the last week. You can't trust tea, coffee, tobacco or any other product that is advertised. In fact, the lethality of a product is directly proportional to the amount of marketing and advertising involved. Carrots are almost never advertized, except in grocery store fliers, and are safe. Baked goods are everywhere promoted--deadly.
2012-08-08 11:44:02 AM  
dondueck.files.wordpress.comView Full Size

2012-08-08 11:45:35 AM  
What is this I don't even.
2012-08-08 11:46:04 AM  
This blog makes me long for the days when fark just linked to Cracked.
2012-08-08 11:46:08 AM  
The quality shiat I've submitted in the past, and this shiat makes the front page?

Subby must be related to Drew.
2012-08-08 11:47:27 AM  

SlothB77: This blog makes me long for the days when fark just linked to Cracked

2012-08-08 11:48:58 AM  
Ah well - the list started with a fart joke. It kinda petered out after that (like a lackluster fart).
2012-08-08 11:51:20 AM  
I'll never get those precious moments back *facepalm*
2012-08-08 11:53:45 AM  
What the? Where?... I can't even...

It's like someone can just put whatever they want on the internet.... Anarchy.... Who authorized this?
2012-08-08 11:54:29 AM  
Subby: there is such a thing as a "SATIRE" tag.

Modmins: there is such a thing as "red-lighting CRAP."
2012-08-08 11:55:35 AM  
That article was written by the suckiest bunch of sucks who ever sucked.
2012-08-08 11:55:47 AM  
2012-08-08 11:58:35 AM  
Can you just fark the fark off? What crippled twat greenlit this mess?
2012-08-08 11:58:37 AM  
I do not see any professional medical data to support for shiatty bloggers claims.
2012-08-08 12:00:48 PM  
For most of the items, they don't even tell you how they're going to kill you. Lame.
2012-08-08 12:06:28 PM  
I'll add reading retarded poorly researched and pointless articles to that list.
2012-08-08 12:06:53 PM  
1) Write some stupid shiat. Put in on a site with ads.
2) Get people to clink on a link to your stupid shiat.
3) Profit.
2012-08-08 12:07:25 PM  
That was HI-larious and insightful.
2012-08-08 12:07:25 PM  
That got so stupid so fast that I just gave up. No doubt the community college-trained communications major author thought he was quite pithy and edgy. Creative Loafing has always been bullshiat aimed at "hip" basement-dwellers.
2012-08-08 12:07:47 PM  
I found the article enlightening. I book marked it for future reference.
2012-08-08 12:08:21 PM  

Your post reminds me of a Back in Black segment years ago when Atkins was all the rage. Something like:

"According to Atkins, the things to avoid are carbohydrates like in bread. Oh, so apparently we've been eating the wrong thing... SINCE THE DAWN OF TIME"
2012-08-08 12:09:54 PM  
You know what they call hot yoga in India?

2012-08-08 12:10:19 PM  
clclt.comView Full Size



Invisible surprize buttsekz.
2012-08-08 12:10:30 PM  
I thoroughly enjoyed reading this. Thanks subby and greenlighter.

If you can't laugh at "the thought that my ER nurse may have changed her life with one phone call [to an online technical college] keeps me in the gym with a seatbelt on daily", then you're probably one of those people who "can't look the pizza delivery guy in the eyes when he hands over your stuffed-crust, extra-supreme pie topped with 17 meats, nacho-bacon asiago and crushed cigarettes."
2012-08-08 12:13:59 PM  
Frozen yogurt isn't actually good for you; it's just a low calorie alternative to ice cream. It has little protein, little calcium, and a lot of sugar. And when you add all of those toppings, you just jack up the calories.
2012-08-08 12:15:52 PM  
That was so bad you would think I wrote it.
2012-08-08 12:16:17 PM  

DeltaPunch: Wow that was bad.

Someone actually received money for writing that, I presume?

That was the single most useless thing I have ever read. Subby is awarded no points and may God have mercy on his soul.
2012-08-08 12:16:34 PM  

OscarTamerz: Invisible surprize buttsekz.

img820.imageshack.usView Full Size
2012-08-08 12:17:52 PM  
makes you think. Ya know?
2012-08-08 12:18:07 PM  
They lost me at Creative Loafing. Those assholes have been stupid since before the internet. Fark em.
2012-08-08 12:22:46 PM  

thornhill: Frozen yogurt isn't actually good for you; it's just a low calorie alternative to ice cream. It has little protein, little calcium, and a lot of sugar. And when you add all of those toppings, you just jack up the calories.

I eat it because ice cream typically contains even more lactose than milk, and holy fark does it give me explosive diarrhea.
2012-08-08 12:24:20 PM  
Thanks, I always wondered who wrote the sketches that never made it onto Saturday Night Live.
2012-08-08 12:28:37 PM  
"I'm nerdy! And a rapper!" LOL yet? No? The one-note joke gets stale faster than day-old cornbread.

Shut up, biatch!

wired.comView Full Size

2012-08-08 12:29:53 PM  
What kind of stupid article is that, and what kind of stupid person would greenlight it? It's nonsensical.

I sometimes think the mods here have monetary connections to some of these off the wall blog posts.
2012-08-08 12:36:34 PM  
Stopped at item 1. "Studies have shown - and by studies, we mean scenarios produced in CL editorial meetings..."

Not even sure why I got that far down the page, really. Farkmodmin, why do you hate Fark so much? Why are you trying so hard to water down my Farking experience? Fark you, man - fark you. Do you want me to not click your farking links? Who is it that you're re-adjusting to for your target audience...Texas death row inmates?
2012-08-08 12:38:32 PM  
I have read funnier and more well thought out "humor" lists on Cracked.
And I feel dirty saying that Cracked was funny. Twice.
2012-08-08 12:41:30 PM  
that shouldn't be on a creative loafing blog... it should be on a mindless rambling rant blog of stupidity.
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