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(Gawker)   Olympics conspiracy theories that could only be dreamed up by Dan Brown   ( gawker.com) divider line
    More: Amusing, London Olympics, British Royal Family, illuminati, secrets, New Jerusalem, Olympic Stadium  
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15407 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Aug 2012 at 2:28 PM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2012-08-07 02:48:34 PM  
2 votes:
vitamin-ha.comView Full Size
2012-08-07 02:37:00 PM  
2 votes:
"Is Prince William the antichrist? Yes he is."
I can only imagine the other gems in that FAQ section.
2012-08-07 02:35:39 PM  
2 votes:
celebitchy.comView Full Size
2012-08-07 12:50:02 PM  
2 votes:
I'm pretty sure the rest of the Illuminati would have let me know if we were having a Satanic occult ritual.
2012-08-08 08:40:46 AM  
1 vote:
The Illuminati are the arch enemies of the Dumbinati.
2012-08-07 05:21:07 PM  
1 vote:
Still waiting for them to evacuate London.

2012-08-07 04:16:05 PM  
1 vote:

Jester6641: TrainingWheelsNeeded: This one was pretty good, "If you were paying attention last night, you would have recognised that the Olympic Stadium floodlights are, in fact, depictions of the All-Seeing Eye (as indeed are the Olympic mascots). And of course, if you count them...there are 13!! The ceremony itself in large parts was a narrative on the development of modern human history [...] all overseen by the 13 All-Seeing Eyes, representing the 13 ruling bloodliness of the Illuminati. In other words, they were telling us that they have been the controlling force behind the development of our history."

Bonus: there are 14 towers.

pinkie.ponychan.netView Full Size
2012-08-07 03:47:09 PM  
1 vote:
I'd rather my Olympic conspiracy theories were dreamed up by Robert Anton Wilson, they'd be better-written and at least they'd give me a laugh.
2012-08-07 03:30:46 PM  
1 vote:
weknowmemes.comView Full Size
2012-08-07 03:22:19 PM  
1 vote:

HawgWild: Dan Brown doesn't have an original thought in his body ...

Agreed. And he sucks as a writer, even a writer of pulp fiction. I arrived a work one morning to find a copy of The Da Vinci Code on my desk. Our CEO had read the book and thought it fantastic. For some reason, he felt compelled to buy everyone their own copy. I threw it into a book case and summarily forgot it. A few years later, I was perusing for a light read and took it down. I figured I was in for a bad read, when he had Frenchmen using American idioms and cliches. It went down hill from that. I finished the book, but then asked myself why I wasted my time.
2012-08-07 03:16:31 PM  
1 vote:
I lol'd at the guy who used the Steve Jackson Illuminati card game as evidence of an Illuminati conspiracy.

I guess it's Steve Jackson for the win. They make a card game lampooning nutcases, and the nutcases go buy it because they think it's like a false-flag Tarot deck designed to warn them of impending conspiracies.
2012-08-07 03:02:48 PM  
1 vote:
They left out the one where badminton players collude to throw matches. I guess it was too crazy.
2012-08-07 02:44:47 PM  
1 vote:
Oh my god. You know what? The next one of you farkers that says "Oh, but humanity has evolved past the paranoia and violence, thus there is no need for guns anymore...", I'm pointing right back to this, the freepers, and every other left-wing and right-wing nutjob collection.

It comes down to this: it's not the average criminal that I fear, most of those guys are stupid and easily avoided through behavioral analysis, situational awareness, and generally not putting yourself in places that look hinky (ultra-trashed neighborhood with gang signs painted on everything at 2 AM? probably not where the Jonses are having their graduation party...and did I mention it was in downtown Detroit?); It's these lunatic wingnuts that just scare the shiat out of me because they walk into some crowded area all normal-like, hear/see something, and know that THIS is the day/time/place where SATAN will return to earth and the "Demons" in that place must be cleansed. Because the Illuminati told him so.

I for one want to be able to kill myself on my own terms quickly rather than have some nutjob cut my heart out and make me eat it before I die...
2012-08-07 02:38:11 PM  
1 vote:

theorellior: Fark Dan Brown in the ear.

Rule 34 rears its ugly head......
2012-08-07 02:31:22 PM  
1 vote:
conspiracy or not, that logo still looks like lisa simpson . . . . giving oral pleasure. Someone pointed it out to me while I was in London and now I can't unsee it.
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