If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(The Gazette)   So, 40 pounds of liquid mercury walk into a bar   ( thegazette.com) divider line
    More: Dumbass, Iowa, emergency managers, CRP, respiratory failure, construction workers, kidney diseases, liquid mercury  
•       •       •

16500 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Jul 2012 at 1:20 PM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2012-07-25 10:58:53 AM  
6 votes:
And so the bartender says, "Why the Hg dog expression?"

/got nuthin'
2012-07-25 02:30:57 PM  
4 votes:
i.qkme.meView Full Size

/Times where simpler back then

An EPA team will clean up the mercury in the sandbox and at the bar.
WTF, last time I was at NTC there was no farking bar. Just a shiat load of sand and people dressed like Hajis.

Cool Environmental Story Bro:
When I was in Iraq , I was changing the oil on a humvee. I looked at the pan of old, dirty oil, looked over 3 feet to my right, grabbed a shovel dug a 1 ft pit, and hucked in the oil. My platoon SGT saw this and started biatching. Who cares? I said. It's farking Iraq. This place is lousy with oil anyway. He then said how it was bad for the environment. I explained that it would simply soak into the ground and rejoin the natural oil table. My scientific knowledge must have really impressed him, because he just walked away, pinching the bridge of his nose.
2012-07-25 01:35:38 PM  
4 votes:

Dreyelle: How big would the bottle have to be to hold 40 pounds of liquid mercury?

Probably not that big. 40 pounds of mercury is a lot heavier than 40 pounds of feathers.
2012-07-25 01:24:48 PM  
3 votes:

HailRobonia: What sort of moron hides anything in a sandbox?

are you calling cats morans?
2012-07-25 11:46:03 AM  
3 votes:
....and the Mercury accidentally brushes up against an attractive woman at the bar, and she exclaims, "You have some nerve deadening properties!"
2012-07-25 03:59:26 PM  
2 votes:

show me: JudgeItoBox: Just a reminder that only one generation ago, your parents regularly played with mercury in their science classes. Like held it in their cupped hands and jiggled it around.

You're welcome.

Hell, I did that when I was a kid. Got it out of a chemistry set.

/Get off my lawn

My grandmother was a doctor and she would bring small bottles of mercury from the hospital for me to play with. I have no lli stceffe morf ti rehto than the occasional backwards typing thing
2012-07-25 02:14:55 PM  
2 votes:

angry_scientist: onlookers described the scene as "Oooh shiney"

t0.gstatic.comView Full Size

/shakes tiny fist
2012-07-25 01:32:59 PM  
2 votes:
prospect.rsc.orgView Full Size

Have you seen this boy?
2012-07-25 01:23:48 PM  
2 votes:
Walks into a millibar, surely.

/write your own Mad Hatter joke here.
2012-07-25 01:23:29 PM  
2 votes:
If I were that stupid, I'd want to be referred to as "the worker" too.
2012-07-25 11:01:59 AM  
2 votes:
Hey, hold my beer and check this out..........
2012-07-25 09:57:07 AM  
2 votes:
Wait I think I've heard this one... So, 40 pounds of liquid mercury walk into a bar, walks up to the bartender and says "Are you the legal guardian of John Connor?" then proceeds to form into a policeman and blow everybody's heads off.

There may have been some priests and a rabbi in there somewhere the details are a little blurry.
2012-07-25 05:21:11 PM  
1 vote:

HailRobonia: What sort of moron hides anything in a sandbox?

2012-07-25 04:43:48 PM  
1 vote:
So a dyslexic walks into a bra
2012-07-25 02:44:20 PM  
1 vote:
So a seal walks into a club
2012-07-25 02:18:31 PM  
1 vote:
The bartender says "Holy crap, that looks like Uranus!"
2012-07-25 01:57:00 PM  
1 vote:

xl5150: Rich Cream: Can we even assume he knew it was mercury? Probably thought he found an alien nucular fuel.

That's actually a good point. With a job as a workman I think it's safe to assume that he's probably not that knowledgeable about the periodic table (or really anything at all, for that matter). He likely didn't know what it was.

Is workman a job title.
Having trouble finding,,,
2012-07-25 01:39:48 PM  
1 vote:
Still not as bad as dropping a CFL bulb in the house, right?
2012-07-25 01:37:21 PM  
1 vote:
As opposed to what? Solid mercury?
2012-07-25 01:36:43 PM  
1 vote:

gopher321: Guy just doesn't know when to stop the asshattery. I'm surprised he didn't take the bottle of mercury out dancing later and mixed a few cocktails with it.

Actually, if you assume he found 50 pounds of it, and drank a fifth of the bottle thinking it was moonshine, then the rest of his actions make a lot more sense.
2012-07-25 01:31:50 PM  
1 vote:

Dreyelle: How big would the bottle have to be to hold 40 pounds of liquid mercury?

[40 lb box.jpg]
2012-07-25 01:26:25 PM  
1 vote:
images.askmen.comView Full Size
2012-07-25 11:15:06 AM  
1 vote:
...and say "Sorry, I gotta run."
2012-07-25 10:38:11 AM  
1 vote:
img7.imageshack.usView Full Size
2012-07-25 10:32:57 AM  
1 vote:
Freddy, circa late 1993?
Displayed 25 of 25 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

On Twitter

Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.