Evil Twin Skippy: Yah, we'd simply remember Freddie Kahn instead. While there is a certain amount to be said for individual initiative, history is made by being the right person in the right place, at the right time. And there are always a lot of candidates for the right person. Particularly conquerors.
PacManDreaming: namatad: Kill Abraham and end the 3 religions before they even start.TADANo more genocides.Thank you, Mario, but your fallacy is in another castle.
PunGent: PacManDreaming: namatad: Kill Abraham and end the 3 religions before they even start.TADANo more genocides.Oops, try again.Eh, he might still be on to something. Communism flourished in Russia due to the feudal circumstances propped up by the Orthodox Church, and then spread to a China that had been kept in a similar condition with the help of good Christian opium cartels. Read up on the Opium Wars sometime.
hng: middleoftheday: Undo the Louisiana Purchase for the lulzand think of the money we would've saved on Katrina.
we'refromthesamestory: So they didn't force everyone to be farmers while they gained from their work using the fear of god to keep things the way they were for around one thousand years?Good to know.
Shmopee: 3:30 a.m. where I R @. Drunky big-big so whole thread tl;dr so might be repeating, but that won't stop me from sharing my two cents:Stop the library in Alexandria from being torched.One and done. G'night bishes.
Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo: I'd go back to around 100 A.D. and give the Romans steam power. It would spark an industrial revolution that would hopefully turn back the dark ages.
Great Janitor: C-3PO: A golden, 24' tall robotic dinosaur covered in laser cannons, missile launchers, not gay or annoyingR2-D2: Female android, mostly naked, rides on top of C-3PO, chained around her neck to the neck of C-3PO.Darth Vader: WAS NEVER called Annie in his life. Originally, before Darth Vader, he was named William.
doglover: we'refromthesamestory: doglover: wizden: we'refromthesamestory: wizden: xanadian: wizden: Oddly it also preserved the written word and eventually.. BAM. Thomas Aquinas.I get the feeling the written word would've survived just fine without the bible and the church...The monasteries of the time represented the vast majority of people who could actually read and write. It was pretty rare.Oppression does that...Goddammit learn to history.Leave him wizen. The irony of how he clutches at his ignorance with an vice like grip and yet claims to be enlightened is making chuckle. I need a good chuckle.Basically the Dark Ages are a myth. The order brought by stable government changed, economics rose and fell, but overall there's steady progress in the sciences and arts throughout history. The "Renaissance" wasn't actually much of a leap in anything. It was just the rose bud finally opening after years of the roots and branches growing slow and steady.And as for literature and literacy, that was an aristocratic art and the main guardians were in fact the monks at monasteries, who spent their lives preserving fragile books by faithfully copying them again and again and again. Without such people, entire epochs would be lost to us.
Harry_Seldon: Go back in time, and play with Annette Funicello's breasts.
we'refromthesamestory: Genocide, all of them. Ever./I'm including the Armenian Genocide too///Go ahead, hate.
JakeStone: Abort Purelilac's mom.Seriously though, I like some of my U.S. of A. culture, and wouldn't want to wake up in a 21st century where the heretics who don't believe in the Great Slobbering Yam are left in the desert covered in honey mustard for the scorpions to nosh on. Go read The Man Who Folded Himself for some additional insight.Since I can only change one thing, I'm seriously pondering dropping a shiat ton of mines (self destructing after X years - X to be determined by people smarter than me who can figure out the consequences) all along the south Atlantic covering the slave trade route of the trade triangle.It's going to cost innocent lives, but if we can somehow remove the taint of human slavery from U.S. history, I'd like to think there would be some positive consequences.At the very least: No farking Civil War. Yeah, ok, Calhoun might still have been born, but it's kind of hard to get people that excited over a tariff versus getting them excited about losing their slaves or sources of new slaves.I've had about 4 hours of sleep, so not going to be brilliant here, or even very linear. At one point though, I came up with a decent chain of events which went as follows. Smarter people can fill in the blanks or laugh at me, as desired.No Civil War ::= No Great Depression (Big leap there, I know) ::= Reduced WWI ::= No Versailles ::= No WWII ::= No Hiroshima/NagasakiAdditionally, somewhere in there, some bright boys would have eventually figured out how to make atomic power plants, and maybe held off on figuring out how to make an A-Bomb for a few more decades.Anyway, I'm blathering, and I'm not sure how stable this house of cards I'm building is, so instead:Abort Purelilac's mom.
wildcardjack: Introduce the idea of movable type at the Library of Alexandria 100BC. And coptic binding.
la_cyberchicana: I have no idea how I'd accomplish this, so a time machine wouldn't do me much good, but ... I'd go back to about 1900, and try to get all humans da fuq out of central Africa. Just leave it to the apes and monkeys. Leave that fetid incubator of viruses like Ebola and HIV to fester in peace. Build no highways into it, develop no farms, mine no minerals. Leave it alone. I'd even suggest napalming and/or Agent Orange'ing it into oblivion, except that would probably do evil things to the world's oxygen supply, as well as Africa's environment. No AIDS, no interesting little puzzles for epidemiologists to solve that simultaneously kill millions, including two close friends of mine. Honestly, I'm not sure if barring humans from central/equatorial Africa would work as a disease suppressant, but I'd be willing to try.And yes, I realize that half of Africa's problems are the result of outsiders attempting to impose their will on its inhabitants, through the slave trade, through colonization, and through the manipulation of governments. I don't claim to be a genius. I'm sure that anything I could attempt would have some terrible unforeseen consequence. But is there any way, any way at all, to nip HIV/AIDS in the bud before it comes roaring through humanity?
WhyteRaven74: 3rotor: ), you just had to go back far enough into time to stop him from getting into a situation with a Shop-owner,Even better, keep the Allies from imposing the insanely draconian sanctions on Germany after WW1. Without them, Germany doesn't get hyper inflation and an economy in the shiatter and a bunch of other problems, that Hitler came to power on by promising to fix them and blaming the Jews for them. Sure if you change the path of Hitler's life you stop what he did, but you don't stop Germany from being utterly buttfarked after WW1 which was itself a huge problem. And given how bad things were and previous German history there's little reason to think someone else wouldn't have shown up who'd have been no more desirable than Hitler. One could argue that if Germany hadn't be so screwed by sanctions there'd never be any way for Hitler to have come to power since the conditions he relied on to come to power wouldn't have existed.
FriarReb98: Find the person most responsible for the tattoo craze and stop them.
Tyranicle: PunGent: PacManDreaming: namatad: Kill Abraham and end the 3 religions before they even start.TADANo more genocides.Oops, try again.Eh, he might still be on to something. Communism flourished in Russia due to the feudal circumstances propped up by the Orthodox Church, and then spread to a China that had been kept in a similar condition with the help of good Christian opium cartels. Read up on the Opium Wars sometime.Communism 'flourished' in Russia was not due to feuadalism. The Czar and his entire family were captured and then slaughtered by communists. Communism and feudalism are two completely different things.
Hermione_Granger: Slavery. In all forms The first person who thought of it would die.I wouldn't exist (thanks white people) but that's ok. It would be worth it so no child would ever have to be a sex worker, the Hebrews would have been just another people chilling and black folks could just be another skin color.yeah, I'd end the motherfarker who came up with slavery
PunGent: Tyranicle: PunGent: PacManDreaming: namatad: Kill Abraham and end the 3 religions before they even start.TADANo more genocides.Oops, try again.Eh, he might still be on to something. Communism flourished in Russia due to the feudal circumstances propped up by the Orthodox Church, and then spread to a China that had been kept in a similar condition with the help of good Christian opium cartels. Read up on the Opium Wars sometime.Communism 'flourished' in Russia was not due to feuadalism. The Czar and his entire family were captured and then slaughtered by communists. Communism and feudalism are two completely different things.My point, I think you missed it. Yes, they ARE quite different. Communism only flourishes where the alternatives are worse...like in a feudal state where the overlords have the support of the Church. You know...like the Czar did.
Ooba Tooba: The one single solitary night i said i wouldn't go out, he took too much and died, leaving a wife, and 2yr old twin girls, and a distraught best friend. Had i went, i would have told him to slow down, and he would still be here. Had plans to raise our girls together. Beers, barbeque. Shot to shiat. Pills alcohol and coke do not a good mix make.
If you like these links, you'll love
Total accessTotal knowledgeTotal Fark
Sign up for the Fark NotNewsletter!
Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.
When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.
Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.
You need to create an account to submit links or post comments.
Click here to submit a link.
Also on Fark
Submit a Link »
Copyright © 1999 - 2018 Fark, Inc | Last updated: Mar 24 2018 02:41:39
Runtime: 0.666 sec (666 ms)