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(   Costa Concordia captain claims a "divine hand" guided him. God was all like "Hey, don't bring me into this"   ( divider line
    More: Dumbass, Costa Concordia, Capt Schettino, flight risk, Isola del Giglio, partially ordered set  
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3662 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Jul 2012 at 11:13 AM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

39 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
2012-07-06 11:14:27 AM  
Given everything that's come out about what the capain was doing right before the crash, I'm going to assume this a mis-translation of an Itallian euphemism that better translates to "divine hand-JOB"
2012-07-06 11:14:50 AM  

Costa Concordia captain claims a "divine hand" guided him.

Apparently by holding up a single finger.

Was it Loki?
2012-07-06 11:15:10 AM  
God is the one saying "Get back to the boat and save those people."
2012-07-06 11:15:59 AM  
God didn't see fit to prevent the collision in the first place, and only decided to "slightly" damage the ship instead of sinking it outright. He felt Heaven and/or Hell needed only a dozen or so souls, not hundreds or thousands.
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2012-07-06 11:16:10 AM  
If you read the Old Testament you'll find God can be a bit of a jerk sometimes.
2012-07-06 11:17:04 AM  
I totally remember that part when Jesus ran screaming when the Roman's came.

/Sorry but I don't know enough about other religions to make similar comparisons. I'm sure they exist though.
2012-07-06 11:17:29 AM  
You know what a great captain would have done? Not hit the rocks. That's what I do every day. Not hit the rocks. Where's my ticket to the Grammys?
2012-07-06 11:19:16 AM  
Apparently, that was the same hand that pushed him into the lifeboat ahead of almost everyone.
2012-07-06 11:19:29 AM  
So God told him to woo some lady instead of being on the bridge, then to jump in a lifeboat and save his own ass when the ship sank? I'm not certain that was God. Maybe someone else got ahold of God's prayermail account password.
2012-07-06 11:28:48 AM  
What's more amazing is this guy is somehow still alive.
2012-07-06 11:30:19 AM  
Your God is imaginary. The rocks are not. Full Size
2012-07-06 11:31:53 AM  
God's moving up, first he scores a goal in the world cup, now he wrecks a cruise ship. Planet pool with a comet is next.
2012-07-06 11:32:33 AM  
Hey, I was busy!

i291.photobucket.comView Full Size
2012-07-06 11:35:19 AM  
24tee.comView Full Size

Was this God's reaction?
2012-07-06 11:37:49 AM  
andare in prigione, cazzo.
2012-07-06 11:43:09 AM  
God said, women and children last.
2012-07-06 11:48:38 AM  
God demanded a blood sacrifice.
2012-07-06 11:53:51 AM  
Wish they would just Keel-Haul him on his own/former ship.

Then he can thank God in person.

I know God, he would say WTF Dumb Dumb, I had to do something to save the folks You were trying to kill with Your stupid course inCorection.
2012-07-06 11:59:43 AM  
Imagine the smell from the rotted food and other :stuff".....
2012-07-06 12:09:00 PM  
Costa Concordia? is that thing still in the news?
2012-07-06 12:29:09 PM  

Thanks for the Meme-ries: Hey, I was busy!

[ image 420x300]

2012-07-06 12:40:02 PM  

Private_Citizen: God demanded a blood sacrifice.

See Abraham
2012-07-06 12:42:48 PM  
Was it the hand of god that knocked him overboard, only to miraculously fall into a lifeboat?
2012-07-06 12:44:06 PM  
He was touched by a dead, overweight American transvestite actor?
2012-07-06 12:55:03 PM  

Franko: Costa Concordia? is that thing still in the news?

Yeah, unfortunately for Carnival, a 1000 foot long ship laying on its side 100 feet off the coast tends to stay in the news.
2012-07-06 12:59:57 PM  
Wrong divinity, dumbass.
2012-07-06 01:17:50 PM  
So your infallible god steered your ship onto rocks. What a douche bag!

FTFA: As the ship was about to hit rocks off the Italian coast "a divine hand surely touched my head," Captain Francesco Schettino said in a letter to his lawyers

Or maybe he was slapping you upside the head for being an idiot and costing people their lives.
2012-07-06 01:34:51 PM  
HOW is this D-Bag still walking around and not in prison? I can understand due process of the law but still .. you would think he would want to be there for his own safety.
2012-07-06 01:35:41 PM  
Love exciting and neeeeeeew come aboard were expecting .........FARK ROCKS!!!!
2012-07-06 01:36:19 PM  
Uh, yeah... if it weren't for God guiding his hand, this could have been a huge disaster.

Seriously, Frankie? You're going with "I meant to do that, lucky thing for everyone that I was there"? That takes some pretty huge balls, especially coming from a guy who seemingly didn't have any on the day in question.
2012-07-06 01:57:07 PM  
2012-07-06 02:19:10 PM  
Whatever divine being this hand is attached to is kind of an a-hole.
2012-07-06 02:31:05 PM  
Costa Concordia captain claims a "divine hand" guided him. God was all like "Hey, don't bring me into this Vada a bordo, cazzo!"

L'ho corretto per voi...
2012-07-06 05:38:52 PM  
I'm choosing to assume this must be a variant on the old expression "touched in the head" and he's saying God did it to him.
2012-07-06 07:46:17 PM  

P.S. ...hand was connected to a guy named Jack.
2012-07-06 08:24:14 PM  
See the problem is here you're thinking of the god of Jews, Christians and Muslims. What he really meant is he was guided by the hand of Bacchus.
farm3.staticflickr.comView Full Size
2012-07-06 08:26:17 PM  
I'd say it was more of a dutch rudder...
2012-07-07 10:30:15 AM
2012-07-07 04:13:49 PM  

scrumpox: He was touched by a dead, overweight American transvestite actor?

Dead? Oh, I thought you were talking about John Travolta, but he was just an angel.

If you wanted to talk to another dead God, there is George Burns... Morgan Freeman if you want a live one.
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