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(Network World)   "I taught Drew Curtis everything he knows"   ( networkworld.com) divider line
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5462 clicks; posted to Geek » on 10 Jun 2012 at 11:18 AM (6 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

47 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
2012-06-10 09:34:03 AM  
My cousin once met Enos from Dukes of Hazzard.
2012-06-10 10:04:38 AM  
My first taste of single malt whisky (at age 15), was poured by a Field-Marshal of the British Army.
2012-06-10 10:07:39 AM  
My dog tried to hump President Bush's (the original) leg. He thought it was funny.
2012-06-10 10:12:58 AM  
I lived across the street from Michael Stipe for two years in Athens.
2012-06-10 10:30:45 AM  
Wonderful gem:

"Been shat on by 12 birds and 1 bat since April 1, 2008."
2012-06-10 11:01:35 AM  
"My cat can eat a whole watermelon. I am the king of the echo people."
2012-06-10 11:26:42 AM  
Really? How embarrassing. :-|
2012-06-10 11:27:43 AM  
"Found a dead body when I was 12, saved the Enterprise a few times, Ran the Axis of Anarchy, broke up Penny and Leonard. Currently running the non-lethal weapons lab at Global Dynamics."

Well played, Wheaton. Well played....
2012-06-10 11:29:06 AM  
The first guitar I played was Buddy Guy's... in his house

/he was down and out at the time, living a block from me

//was friends with his son and daughter when I was about 10

///Then the Rolling Stones took him on tour, and he moved into a mansion in Flossmoor, IL (I think).

////None of his guitar skills rubbed off on me
2012-06-10 11:29:39 AM  
I am smart enough to know that Google+ is a huge fail, and that no matter how many gimmicks like this you come up with to promote it, it isn't going to fly.

[sad trombone.wav]
2012-06-10 11:30:06 AM  
I look like Nabeshin in real life.

encrypted-tbn3.google.comView Full Size
2012-06-10 11:35:23 AM  
"I have the death sentence on twelve systems."
2012-06-10 11:42:02 AM  
"I'm qualified for absolutely nothing I do. I majored in marketing & music theory and wound up doing broadcasting & computer science. Go me."
Jason Salas

Co-anchor KUAM News, Guam

How many people actually wind up doing what they majored in? I majored in Photography and Film. Never spent a day doing either professionally.
2012-06-10 11:42:34 AM  
Well "Started using Google+ while I was living in space." is pretty hard to top :-)
2012-06-10 11:44:41 AM  
I can...uh....I used to....no. Fark. I've got nothing.
2012-06-10 12:00:43 PM  
That farker Al Gore stole credit for my invention.
2012-06-10 12:07:15 PM  
I farted in a crowded elevator and blamed it on an old guy.
2012-06-10 12:10:38 PM  
"I was one of the first to use video on the web to promote horses for sale. I have one of the oldest, largest Quarter Horses email communities, est. 1999."

Whoa. That's impressive.
2012-06-10 12:11:54 PM  
I've been in the entertainment/ hospitality industry on and off for 30 years.

Have met Richard Pryor.
Have taken liquor and strippers to Sam Kinison's hotel room.
Have had Jack Buck and Al Hraboski guest host a wet t-shirt contest.
Have gotten loaded with Doug Stanhope.
Have had a late night steak dinner with Brian Posehn.
Have played poker with Norm Macdonald.
Have pissed off The Amazing Kreskin

/I'll stop there
//Have had the good fortune to meet a lot of cool people
2012-06-10 12:13:53 PM  
img.photobucket.comView Full Size

2012-06-10 12:17:22 PM  
I was waiting for ride to baseball practice. I swung my bat and hit a falling bird poop.

I'm sure I could do better, but that's the gem that popped into my head when I was reading that stuff.
2012-06-10 12:24:50 PM  
I've broken the little finger of my right hand twice.
2012-06-10 12:46:38 PM  
Caught a fly using chopsticks.
/seriously; first try
2012-06-10 01:13:52 PM  
Once shared an elevator with Steve Forbes and 2 secret service agents.

/scared out of my 12 year old mind
2012-06-10 01:34:06 PM  

sn0wblind: Caught a fly using chopsticks.
/seriously; first try

Cut a fly in half with scissors.
2012-06-10 01:48:03 PM  
Once lost five pounds in one minute.

/you don't bother wiping after that, you just hop in the shower and hose it off
2012-06-10 02:25:41 PM  
"I have never watched 'Titanic' in its entirety, played World of Warcraft, played Angry Birds, read a Harlequin romance novel, watched Jersey Shore, killed a human being, or broken a bone."

Drat - 6/7. You win, Thomas Edmonds Jr.

/I'm not confessing which one
2012-06-10 02:28:28 PM  

casual disregard: Once lost five pounds in one minute.

/you don't bother wiping after that, you just hop in the shower and hose it off

Philistine. Correct etiquette requires heeling it down the drain, so you'd already be in the shower.
2012-06-10 02:40:47 PM  
"4 speeding tickets in one week, 2 of them in less than 12 hours by the same cop"
Lance Burkhardt

Verizon Wireless, Area Manager for Cellular Sales

That cop is my hero of the week ... and I hate traffic cops.
2012-06-10 03:09:43 PM  
I almost punched Dan O'Brien in the face at about 6:30AM
2012-06-10 03:51:11 PM  
All you have to do to piss off the Amazing Kreskin is to quote W.C. Field's maxim "Never give a sucker an even break." He shamelessly takes even breaks all the time--and half of the time he loses.

I'm just saying.

Fifty-fifty proves nothing, my son.
2012-06-10 03:58:44 PM  
I read the list.

2012-06-10 04:00:08 PM  
- Once really had a Pizza Boy Porno scenario IRL
- Accidently/on-purpose crushed hundreds of rats migrating across Cabo with my car.
- Figured out how to make a Twin ring magnet circuit into a Mass Spectrometer
- Invented a new modular/mobile relative gravimeter more accurate than a superconducting gravimeter.
- Created a new design for a web search engine to compete or partner with Google.
- Figured out how to make String Theory work. (using established experimental confirmation)

/in negotiations and/or validating with peers
2012-06-10 04:10:26 PM  
met Shooter McGavin
2012-06-10 04:57:35 PM  

moistD: met Shooter McGavin

He eats pieces of shiat like you for breakfast.
2012-06-10 05:21:03 PM  
Made the Kessel run in less that 12 parsecs.
2012-06-10 09:06:18 PM  
i figured out how to divide by zero one night when I was very drunk.
2012-06-10 09:19:59 PM  
What a bunch of self-important douchbags.

/Not you Wil
2012-06-10 10:50:26 PM  
saw this thread some days ago on Fark.
2012-06-10 11:22:13 PM  
maniacworld.comView Full Size
2012-06-10 11:26:20 PM  
I like how Phil Plait is on there and they misspelled Astronomer.

2012-06-11 01:26:41 AM  

Cottage Cheesecake: I am smart enough to know that Google+ is a huge fail, and that no matter how many gimmicks like this you come up with to promote it, it isn't going to fly.

I like how about 60% of the people on the list work at Google. I think we've discovered Google+'s key demographic. Waiting for a claim to fame that says "I only use Google+ because Larry says I have to"
2012-06-11 02:13:53 AM  
A major journalist made me breakfast. IfyaknowwhatImean.
2012-06-11 05:45:01 AM  
I figured out that Bobby Fischer was in Japan before the Feds did.
2012-06-11 05:46:18 AM  

DjangoStonereaver: A major journalist made me breakfast. IfyaknowwhatImean.

Christane Amanpour?
2012-06-11 09:38:13 AM  

Joe The Plumber: DjangoStonereaver: A major journalist made me breakfast. IfyaknowwhatImean.

Christane Amanpour?

No comment, though I do wonder how long you've been able to read my mind, as I have long found Ms. Amanpour
quite alluring (probably the accent, and her predilection for khakis with lots of pockets).
2012-06-11 10:57:52 PM  
I am the queen of France!

i.imgur.comView Full Size
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