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(Shutterstock)   If you ever did win the lottery, would you give it away or surprise people with it in fun ways?   ( divider line
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4320 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Jun 2012 at 5:37 AM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2012-06-03 01:25:49 AM  
4 votes:
two chicks at the same time.
2012-06-03 08:13:56 AM  
3 votes:

angrymacface: I'd buy a major sports team and shut it down.

Who knew Mitt Romney had a Fark handle?
2012-06-02 11:24:20 PM  
3 votes:
I'd buy a major sports team and shut it down.
2012-06-02 11:21:56 PM  
3 votes:
It depends if people would be surprised when I hire a yacht and a bunch of hookers.

img002.lazygirls.infoView Full Size
2012-06-03 09:20:51 AM  
2 votes:

spentmiles: I'd get my penis enlarged, over and over again.

You already did when you acquired the money.
2012-06-03 07:32:13 AM  
2 votes:
I'd buy homes in rich Republican neighborhoods, the snootier the better. Then move a poor family into that home. The bigger the family the better, and of course minorities preferred.

The inner city black mom with 9 kids, or the huge Asian family just off the boat, or of course the extended family of Mexican migrant workers.

Just for the lulz

/of course I'd also help support each family and set up scholarships for the kids
2012-06-03 07:26:37 AM  
2 votes:
I would buy some rare stamps and use them to mail a letter to some unscrupulous lawyers.
2012-06-03 06:21:34 AM  
2 votes:

atlfarkette: Hook up my family on the low down.

You're going to hook your family up with secret black gay sex?
2012-06-03 05:41:31 AM  
2 votes:
I would invest half of it in low-risk mutual funds and take the rest to my cousin Abdullah who works in an investment bank
2012-06-02 11:29:56 PM  
2 votes:
I'd give it away to strippers, one dollar coin at a time.

/and find out about that champagne room thing........
2012-06-03 01:56:07 PM  
1 vote:

ursomniac: 1) Set up trust funds for all the nieces/nephews for education (with a liberal definition of "education", i.e., "I want to wander around Europe for a year" is IMHO likely to be educational);

2) Get parents into a nice retirement condo where they don't have to worry about a THING;

3) Start working on a design for the perfect (for us) house (will include a greenhouse, observatory, bowling alley);

4) Set up a foundation to do cool things;

5) Totally make life absolutely MISERABLE for every person associated with NOM: first, hire a team who will very visibly and thoroughly refute anything any of them says; second, match $ for $ every donation they get and use the aforementioned team to actively promote whoever is running against their preferred candidates with complete media blitzes. Basically any time that Maggie Srivastav (nee Gallagher) or Brian Brown open their mouths there WILL be a fact-checking team and refutation press release.

If I won the lottery, I'd help you make #5 happen.
I'd also buy all the land that Westboro Baptist Church owns, kick all those assholes off, and turn the church into a Planned Parenthood by day/ Gay disco at night.
2012-06-03 11:14:22 AM  
1 vote:
You know when you're eating pistachios and you get one where the shell hasn't opened? I'd throw those away.
2012-06-03 09:33:03 AM  
1 vote:
Have you ever seen Indecent Proposal?

I'd sign back up for netflix and rent that movie.
2012-06-03 08:50:52 AM  
1 vote:
I'd get my penis enlarged, over and over again.
2012-06-03 08:16:08 AM  
1 vote:

Deacon Blue: I'd have Van Halen play at my birthday party

I think all you need is a hundred bucks and some hot dogs and Van Halen would play your birthday party. No lottery winnings needed.
2012-06-03 06:39:56 AM  
1 vote:
I think I'd buy a few senators and have them push legislation that would require everyone to go barefoot on Thursdays, or something equally odd. Mostly to show how broken the system is and hopefully change things for the better.
And for the lulz.
2012-06-03 06:36:06 AM  
1 vote:
I would while away my days throwing canned food at pigeons in the park.

just like now
2012-06-03 06:20:04 AM  
1 vote:
would you give it away

I would give it away in small to medium sized increments, at random locations around the world, in exchange for goods and services.
2012-06-03 05:50:14 AM  
1 vote:
stevenhumour.comView Full Size
2012-06-03 02:04:28 AM  
1 vote:
I wouldn't give a dime to charity or to any of my family. I'm spend it all lavishly and post threads about it.
2012-06-03 12:42:38 AM  
1 vote:

cptjeff: Maybe a little. But that's how lottery winners go broke, so I wouldn't be paying off people's houses, I would be buying them ice cream. I would take the lump sum, throw it in a high yield account and use only the interest. Boring and responsible.

i.imgur.comView Full Size
2012-06-02 11:24:15 PM  
1 vote:
Yes, but the five dollars from the scratch-off probably wouldn't go all that far.
2012-06-02 11:21:08 PM  
1 vote:

eyehate: Why the f*ck would I give it away or surprise other people with it?

Because you are a nice person. A real sweetheart.
2012-06-02 11:16:05 PM  
1 vote:
I'd take over the world!
2012-06-02 11:16:04 PM  
1 vote:
I would buy my wife a minor league baseball team.
2012-06-02 11:12:41 PM  
1 vote:

Definitely C.
2012-06-02 11:08:12 PM  
1 vote:
I'd buy Drew more beer... as well as whoever's insta-greening weird shiat.
2012-06-02 11:05:46 PM  
1 vote:
I know Roook would love to walk up and hand me a $10,000 check
2012-06-02 11:05:30 PM  
1 vote:
ok if I had assloads of cash, yah, I can think of a few folks to throw some money at and let them enjoy it.

and take a band or two I know out on tour - just would hope no one chokes on vomit or explodes behind the drums....again...
2012-06-02 11:01:22 PM  
1 vote:
UFIA counts as a surprise, right?
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