FARK.com: (7130227) Police state that naked man eating another naked man's face is certainly a rare occurrence. "Other theories abounded, of course, sometimes leading to comparisons to one horror-movie staple, zombies"

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		Police state that naked man eating another naked man's face is certainly a rare occurrence. "Other theories abounded, of course, sometimes leading to comparisons to one horror-movie staple, zombies" ( miamiherald.com)		78
		More: Followup, Miami, police tape, cycles, memorial hospital, MacArthur Causeway, trauma center, Biscayne Boulevard, MacArthur

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5918 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 May 2012 at 11:55 AM (5 years ago) | Favorite | share:

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Lando Lincoln

2012-05-28 09:54:47 AM

Well, obviously the zombie apocalypse has begun. Some Cuban zombies walked over to Miami and have started to feast on our flesh. Good luck to us all.

Lone Stranger

2012-05-28 11:59:01 AM

Lando Lincoln: Good luck to us all.

PsychoLaurie

2012-05-28 12:01:49 PM

Cocaine. It's a helluva drug.

Face-off, in the corner!!

/window seat.

dj_spanmaster

2012-05-28 12:04:27 PM

AND SO IT BEGINS

LeroyBourne

2012-05-28 12:05:00 PM

FTA: "It's one of the most gruesome things I've ever seen in my life in person," he told the station.

You think? Enjoy years and years of therapy.

Brick-House

2012-05-28 12:06:35 PM

I guess we need to start brushing up on these...

1. Cardio
2. The Double Tap
3. Beware of Bathrooms
4. Wear Seat Belts
5. No Attachments
6. The "Skillet"
7. Travel Light
8. Get a Kick Ass Partner
9. With your Bare Hands
10. Don't Swing Low
11. Use Your Foot
12. Bounty Paper Towels
13. Shake it Off
14. Always carry a change of underwear
15. Bowling Ball
16. Opportunity Knocks
17. Don't be a hero (later crossed out to be a hero)
18. Limber Up
19. Break it Up
20. It's a marathon, not a sprint, unless it's a sprint, then sprint
21. Avoid Strip Clubs
22. When in doubt Know your way out
23. Zipplock
24. Use your thumbs
25. Shoot First
26. A little sun screen never hurt anybody
27. Incoming!
28. Double-Knot your Shoes
29. The Buddy System
30. Pack your stain stick
31. Check the back seat
32. Enjoy the little things
33. Swiss army Knife

detroitdoesntsuckthatbad

2012-05-28 12:09:01 PM

What a coincidence - I'm heading to the pub right now. Not as cool as the Winchester but a safe place nonetheless.

baronbloodbath

2012-05-28 12:10:54 PM

I liked the last line...."This kind of crazy only happens in Florida."

So true.

offmymeds

2012-05-28 12:12:17 PM

Brick-House: I guess we need to start brushing up on these...

1. Cardio
2. The Double Tap

I always follow the rules.

Coelacanth

2012-05-28 12:18:43 PM

Tatterdemalian

2012-05-28 12:23:07 PM

/they're trying to cover it up, but we know the TRUUUUUUUTH
//it's GOBLINS! we should be stocking up on double-decker bologna sandwiches, not guns and ammo!

TheZorker

2012-05-28 12:26:40 PM

Husk!

chopit

2012-05-28 12:30:14 PM

PsychoLaurie: Cocaine. It's a helluva drug.

Face-off, in the corner!!

/window seat.

Cocaine doesn't make you want to eat faces. Only pcp or plain old crazy can do that.

Salmon

2012-05-28 12:31:36 PM

He probably meant feces, not faces

Saberus Terras

2012-05-28 12:37:14 PM

I've got my .22 rifle at the door with my crowbar and bug-out bag ready. As soon as I lose internet access or run out of food, I'm rolling out.

dfacto

2012-05-28 12:38:04 PM

chopit: Cocaine doesn't make you want to eat faces. Only pcp or plain old crazy can do that.

Oh yeah, this has PCP written all over it.

Zombie PCP!

Stinkyy

2012-05-28 12:56:14 PM

Most horrific crime in recent memory. Demonic shiat right here. WTF is going on in this country...

Saberus Terras

2012-05-28 12:59:25 PM

Stinkyy: Most horrific crime in recent memory. Demonic shiat right here. WTF is going on in this country...

Zombie apocalypse.

wippit

2012-05-28 12:59:29 PM

danielscissorhands

2012-05-28 01:03:03 PM

If only the suspect had asked for a doggie bag, to go....

Then he could have saved face.

YEAAAAAAAAAH!

Flaming Yawn

2012-05-28 01:04:42 PM

Weeners: "Tell me again that we should call off the war on drugs."

Yeah, that's the first thing I thought of too. If only we had been spending more money on the war on drugs, this never would have happened.

But of course, the liberals want all those drugs legalized. Thank god I don't have any children.

/that talk to me

danielscissorhands

2012-05-28 01:06:22 PM

Also, from the article:

Sean Newell wrote on the popular sports blog, Deadspin: "This kind of crazy only happens in Florida."

Perhaps he has forgotten about another such incident...

Igor Jakovsky

2012-05-28 01:09:27 PM

Stinkyy: Most horrific crime in recent memory. Demonic shiat right here. WTF is going on in this country...

The one I remember was even worse. A guy riding the bus decided it would be a good idea to cut the passenger in the seat next to him's head off and munch on it. At least the guy in Miami lived. BTW the incident I mentioned happened in Canada.

danielscissorhands

2012-05-28 01:11:16 PM

Igor Jakovsky: Stinkyy: Most horrific crime in recent memory. Demonic shiat right here. WTF is going on in this country...

The one I remember was even worse. A guy riding the bus decided it would be a good idea to cut the passenger in the seat next to him's head off and munch on it. At least the guy in Miami lived. BTW the incident I mentioned happened in Canada.

Yes, and the guy who did it just got out on a day pass.

He cut his head off because he thought he was an alien. He's a paranoid schizophrenic. But now he's on medication, and apparently a lot less crazy.

LostInTO

2012-05-28 01:14:53 PM

danielscissorhands: Igor Jakovsky: Stinkyy: Most horrific crime in recent memory. Demonic shiat right here. WTF is going on in this country...

The one I remember was even worse. A guy riding the bus decided it would be a good idea to cut the passenger in the seat next to him's head off and munch on it. At least the guy in Miami lived. BTW the incident I mentioned happened in Canada.

Yes, and the guy who did it just got out on a day pass.

He cut his head off because he thought he was an alien. He's a paranoid schizophrenic. But now he's on medication, and apparently a lot less crazy.

Yeah? You take the bus with him.

Mister Peejay

2012-05-28 01:19:10 PM

I think I swallowed a bug.

A Terrible Human

2012-05-28 01:21:59 PM

The big thing to take from that is them mentioning psychosis. Whether caused by drugs or just innate crazy psychosis is highly farked up and I guess leads you to eating a guy's face and growling at the people who tell you to get off.

/Still why was the other guy naked? It's obvious in the video I saw on the Daily Mail that Face Muncher and Face Munchee were both naked.

danielscissorhands

2012-05-28 01:23:19 PM

LostInTO: danielscissorhands: Igor Jakovsky: Stinkyy: Most horrific crime in recent memory. Demonic shiat right here. WTF is going on in this country...

The one I remember was even worse. A guy riding the bus decided it would be a good idea to cut the passenger in the seat next to him's head off and munch on it. At least the guy in Miami lived. BTW the incident I mentioned happened in Canada.

Yes, and the guy who did it just got out on a day pass.

He cut his head off because he thought he was an alien. He's a paranoid schizophrenic. But now he's on medication, and apparently a lot less crazy.

Yeah? You take the bus with him.

No, silly. I value my head.

I just read the news.

Deacon Blue

2012-05-28 01:25:57 PM

I've been getting ready for this day for two years. At last, it comes.

danielscissorhands

2012-05-28 01:29:49 PM

A Terrible Human: The big thing to take from that is them mentioning psychosis. Whether caused by drugs or just innate crazy psychosis is highly farked up and I guess leads you to eating a guy's face and growling at the people who tell you to get off.

/Still why was the other guy naked? It's obvious in the video I saw on the Daily Mail that Face Muncher and Face Munchee were both naked.

The obvious answer is that this was caused by gayness. If we don't stop the gays, they will eat our faces off. Gay marriage is merely a plot to de-face us.

bluehubcap

2012-05-28 01:43:14 PM

Stinkyy: Most horrific crime in recent memory. Demonic shiat right here. WTF is going on in this country...

I made the gross error of reading CNN while having lunch today. WTF IS going on in your country?

The justice page is filled with insanity. People microwaving babies, some lunatic skinned a dog alive, and people getting shot over a parking space (although...I can kinda understand that one, parking is really expensive here). Florida does not have the crazy market corner.

GentlemanJ

2012-05-28 01:43:38 PM

"Who's always last to know, who fills the air with cries, whose sanity is blasted, and then who usually dies?--the Victims, the Victims--TENTACLES!" From "A Shoggoth On The Roof."

DicksWii

2012-05-28 01:52:14 PM

I hope the victim in the hospital is under armed guard. And I hope those guards have the policy of shooting him in the head if he bites a nurse.

/and then shooting the nurse
//to be safe

DORMAMU

2012-05-28 01:58:55 PM

DicksWii: I hope the victim in the hospital is under armed guard. And I hope those guards have the policy of shooting him in the head if he bites a nurse.

/and then shooting the nurse
//to be safe

What if it is air born?

Ala t virus

LostInTO

2012-05-28 02:00:43 PM

DORMAMU: DicksWii: I hope the victim in the hospital is under armed guard. And I hope those guards have the policy of shooting him in the head if he bites a nurse.

/and then shooting the nurse
//to be safe

What if it is air born?

Ala t virus

Then shoot himself in the head.

NutznGum

2012-05-28 02:01:22 PM

Of all the possible disasters I think a zombie apocalypse would be the most fun. As long as you stay mobile and don't get cornered, it could be a lot of fun.

Beat 'em or burn 'em.

Deep Contact

2012-05-28 02:04:18 PM

Damn Zombies, the cop had to keep shooting till he got a head shot.

danielscissorhands

2012-05-28 02:07:29 PM

The only thing that could be worse than this is the remake of Day of the Dead.

Tatterdemalian

2012-05-28 02:17:16 PM

NutznGum: Of all the possible disasters I think a zombie apocalypse would be the most fun. As long as you stay mobile and don't get cornered, it could be a lot of fun.

Beat 'em or burn 'em.

It's not politically correct to say it, but preparing for a "zombie apocalypse" is a really good way to prepare for a disaster that has a much better chance of occurring without raising undue suspicion.

/it's called "civil war"
//and the only alternative to it will be an even worse disaster, "genocide," thanks to the authoritarian good intentions of leaders that will never stop voting to give themselves other peoples' money, even after it runs out

Fark You I'm Drunk

2012-05-28 02:34:07 PM

Tatterdemalian: NutznGum: Of all the possible disasters I think a zombie apocalypse would be the most fun. As long as you stay mobile and don't get cornered, it could be a lot of fun.

Beat 'em or burn 'em.

It's not politically correct to say it, but preparing for a "zombie apocalypse" is a really good way to prepare for a disaster that has a much better chance of occurring without raising undue suspicion.

/it's called "civil war"
//and the only alternative to it will be an even worse disaster, "genocide," thanks to the authoritarian good intentions of leaders that will never stop voting to give themselves other peoples' money, even after it runs out

You forgot to mention the impending Race War.

Coelacanth

2012-05-28 02:34:12 PM

Tatterdemalian: It's not politically correct to say it, but preparing for a "zombie apocalypse" is a really good way to prepare for a disaster that has a much better chance of occurring without raising undue suspicion.

The 'Zombie Plan' is probably the best thing to have come out of this zombie nonsense.

Amos Quito

2012-05-28 02:47:49 PM

dfacto: chopit: Cocaine doesn't make you want to eat faces. Only pcp or plain old crazy can do that.

Oh yeah, this has PCP written all over it.

Zombie PCP!

/Hope the face-eating guy was white
//Zombie riots!
///OM NOM NOM!!!

trendkill

2012-05-28 02:56:17 PM

Mister Peejay

2012-05-28 03:05:10 PM

NutznGum: Of all the possible disasters I think a zombie apocalypse would be the most fun. As long as you stay mobile and don't get cornered, it could be a lot of fun.

Yuri thinks so.

(Read the mouseover text)

studebaker hoch

2012-05-28 03:05:13 PM

Eating someone's face isn't normal.

But on meth it is.

offmymeds

2012-05-28 03:16:16 PM

"Yeah, they're dead. They're all messed up."

OtherLittleGuy

2012-05-28 03:17:29 PM

I call dibs!

/Lori can Die In Hershel's Barn

Confusean

2012-05-28 03:29:59 PM

Tatterdemalian

2012-05-28 03:41:16 PM

Amos Quito: Hope the face-eating guy was white

The "daddy ate my eyes" guy was a white hispanic.

/or will be after NBC rewrites the article

gerbilpox

2012-05-28 03:46:13 PM

Wait, the victim was naked too? Maybe this was consensual, like that S&M pair in Germany.

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