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(Washington Post)   "This guy is the Taliban equivalent of the 'Home Alone' burglars"   (washingtonpost.com) divider line
    More: Fail, home alone, Taliban, Paktika, Afghan National Security Forces, lack of resources, security checkpoint, burglary, Taliban equivalent  
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17582 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Apr 2012 at 6:11 PM (10 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2012-04-17 3:06:10 PM  
He was here...and he was smoochin' with my brother! He's been smoochin' with everybody! Snuffy, Al, Leo, Little Mohammad with the gimpy leg...
 
2012-04-17 3:10:05 PM  
It probably more illustrates that they are desolate and willing to do anything for a buck. Well, a hundred bucks, anyway.
 
2012-04-17 3:13:03 PM  
But remember: these people are so bad, so incredibly, powerfully evil, that grown politicians shiat their pants at the mere thought of trying them in the US
 
2012-04-17 3:13:16 PM  
FTFA:

"Clearly," one U.S. official said, "the man is an imbecile."

LOL

What is that plant material pic on the wanted poster?
 
2012-04-17 3:40:08 PM  
"The Wet Terrorists."

/sounds grosser than I intended
 
2012-04-17 4:13:08 PM  

AdolfOliverPanties: FTFA:

"Clearly," one U.S. official said, "the man is an imbecile."

LOL

What is that plant material pic on the wanted poster?


Actual grass he has walked on and killed? That bastard.
 
2012-04-17 4:18:32 PM  
Yeah this is some of the farkiest shiat I've ever seen. I wonder if that used to happen in the Wild West... or if this guy is just historically special.
 
2012-04-17 4:57:58 PM  
Jeez, I was expecting it to be like £10m and he had an plan to sacrifice himself and get the money to a relative or something to fund more insurgency or whatever but... wow.

Most importantly, however, how does a blithering imbecile manage to even become wanted for insurgency? Shouldn't he have blown himself up because he lit a match to get a better look at a gunpowder barrel?

He's going to really regret that decision.
 
2012-04-17 6:13:50 PM  
So... did they pay him?
 
2012-04-17 6:14:40 PM  
Or maybe the dude, unlike everyone in the US military apparently, has heard of a trojan horse.
 
2012-04-17 6:16:57 PM  
Terrorists are criminals, and criminals are stupid.

It's just not rocket surgery, people.
 
2012-04-17 6:17:19 PM  
Nice too know we've killed off all the smart ones.
 
2012-04-17 6:18:01 PM  

elk-tamer: Or maybe the dude, unlike everyone in the US military apparently, has heard of a trojan camel.


FTFY
 
2012-04-17 6:18:34 PM  
Mohammad Ashan, a mid-level Taliban commander in Paktika province, strolled toward a police checkpoint in the district of Sar Howza with a wanted poster bearing his own face. He demanded the finder's fee referenced on the poster: $100.

i3.kym-cdn.comView Full Size
 
2012-04-17 6:20:50 PM  
Starting to think they just flip a coin to decide if someone is 'taliban' or an 'insurgent'.
 
2012-04-17 6:21:15 PM  
Maybe if we offered everyone in the Taliban $100 to turn themselves in ?????
 
2012-04-17 6:22:27 PM  

elk-tamer: Or maybe the dude, unlike everyone in the US military apparently, has heard of a trojan horse.


squidmobile.comView Full Size


The inevitable results will be terrifying, I'm sure.
 
2012-04-17 6:22:46 PM  
Actually, he could be a genius.

A: He's making friends around the world with a charming guise of stupidity. You can't hang someone that dumb.

B: He's not being perforated by .30 caliber DU shells from a C-130. They don't shoot POWs.

The desire for $100 is just a tool to influence us not to kill him. It's a good move and hey, I'd spare the guy the gallows. He's charming.
 
2012-04-17 6:23:57 PM  

elchip: It's a trap! Like when The Joker got arrested in "The Dark Knight"!


He just wants his phone call.
 
2012-04-17 6:24:25 PM  
Uncle Sam: "I'm up here, you morons!"
 
2012-04-17 6:26:35 PM  

Slaxl: Jeez, I was expecting it to be like £10m and he had an plan to sacrifice himself and get the money to a relative or something to fund more insurgency or whatever but... wow.

Most importantly, however, how does a blithering imbecile manage to even become wanted for insurgency? Shouldn't he have blown himself up because he lit a match to get a better look at a gunpowder barrel?

He's going to really regret that decision.



Unfortunately you don't have to be that smart to load a gun, point it at someone and pull the trigger.
 
2012-04-17 6:28:17 PM  
if you couldn't read and only saw $$$$ and your picture, what would you surmise ?
 
2012-04-17 6:29:53 PM  

Kanemano: if you couldn't read and only saw $$$$ and your picture, what would you surmise ?


Well, he asked for his "award"
I guess he should have read the destructions.
 
2012-04-17 6:30:14 PM  
That's an insult to the Home Alone burglars, subby.
 
2012-04-17 6:30:51 PM  
I checked three times to make sure this wasn't The Onion. Wow. How did he not die in a stupid accident years ago?
 
2012-04-17 6:31:22 PM  
i107.photobucket.comView Full Size


*warbling whistle*
 
2012-04-17 6:31:40 PM  
I hear he wants to move
mjcorderdesigns.comView Full Size

to FLORIDA.
 
2012-04-17 6:33:00 PM  

doglover: B: He's not being perforated by .30 caliber DU shells from a C-130. They don't shoot POWs.


1. AC-130s can have cannons in 20mm, 25mm, 40mm, and 105mm. .30 caliber would be ridiculously tiny to put on something like that.
2. There's no such thing as a .30 caliber DU shell.
3. POWs can certainly be exectuted, just not summarily.
4. Captured insurgents/Taliban/whatever aren't POWs and don't qualify for any protections as such.
 
2012-04-17 6:33:04 PM  
"We asked him, 'Is this you?' Mohammad Ashan answered with an incredible amount of enthusiasm, 'Yes, yes, that's me! Can I get my award now?'" recalled SPC Matthew Baker.

LOL. should have given him the reward of a bullet in the head. Much cheaper. And i can't believe he was ANY kinda commander if the reward was a measly 100 bucks. Really? could get 5 lap dances for that.

/amateur
 
2012-04-17 6:33:54 PM  
I guess making IED's don't pay so well..
 
2012-04-17 6:35:25 PM  
Cue yakkity sax?

/got nothin....
 
2012-04-17 6:37:32 PM  
whats sadder, that the supposed taliban "commander" was this stupid?

or that the taliban is winning?
 
2012-04-17 6:37:59 PM  
Let's see, two to three month's pay, get to live in the Detetention Facility in Parwan for a couple of years in air conditioning with three meals a day, receive job training, learn to read and write, imam services, occasionally play soccer and get ice cream and showers two times a week, and free face-to-face visits with your family every six months.
...
Or continue to climb around the Hindu-Kush mountains while starving and waiting for an A-10 to hamburgerize you.

This guy isn't an imbecile, he's probably the smartest one from his cell.
 
2012-04-17 6:38:37 PM  
On one end, I see that he's an idiot. On the other, I bet he had a family and was getting the money for them. He should have had a son or wife or other relative turn him in and collect the money. Either end, he's quite stupid.
 
2012-04-17 6:39:22 PM  

NobleHam: I checked three times to make sure this wasn't The Onion. Wow. How did he not die in a stupid accident years ago?


It's better to be lucky than good.
 
2012-04-17 6:40:38 PM  
send him to the farm, and put him in the goat insemination section.
 
2012-04-17 6:43:10 PM  
Wouldn't he be the Home Alone equivalent of the Taliban, subby?
I clicked that link expecting decapitated children.


Keep the change you filfthy infidel.
 
2012-04-17 6:43:42 PM  
I was laughing so hard I had a nosebleed.
 
2012-04-17 6:44:42 PM  

tlchwi02: whats sadder, that the supposed taliban "commander" was this stupid?

or that the taliban is winning?


That we're actually worried enough about these mooks to be still in Afghanistan.
 
2012-04-17 6:46:08 PM  
He just wants the 100 bucks put in his prison canteen so he can eat big macs, drink gatorages, and wear crocs. He secretly loves America.
 
2012-04-17 6:47:16 PM  
One
Hundred
Dollars?

 
2012-04-17 6:47:18 PM  
Thats some full on stupid you expect from someone in the civlized Western World. I can see why they want to keep us out.
 
2012-04-17 6:47:22 PM  
Karzai wants $2billion and year, *and* control of Bagram prison. So this guy won't be in there for long.

Pakistan just "accidentally" let about 400 Taliban escape. Yemen can't keep 'em for long either.
 
2012-04-17 6:50:31 PM  
Kinda like these guys....
posters.wsView Full Size
 
2012-04-17 6:54:47 PM  

JesseL: doglover: B: He's not being perforated by .30 caliber DU shells from a C-130. They don't shoot POWs.

1. AC-130s can have cannons in 20mm, 25mm, 40mm, and 105mm. .30 caliber would be ridiculously tiny to put on something like that.
2. There's no such thing as a .30 caliber DU shell.
3. POWs can certainly be exectuted, just not summarily.
4. Captured insurgents/Taliban/whatever aren't POWs and don't qualify for any protections as such.


Whatever. He's not being killed in the night. If he helps enough, might even live.
 
2012-04-17 6:57:58 PM  
cbc.caView Full Size

Which one of these guys was it?
 
2012-04-17 6:59:37 PM  
Done in one!
 
2012-04-17 7:01:04 PM  
He even looks a tad like Daniel Stern.

/ http://wfiles.brothersoft.com/d/daniel_stern_68041-1280x800.jpg
// who has a picture of daniel stern as their desktop wallpaper?
/// besides daniel stern
 
2012-04-17 7:03:30 PM  
And still, somehow, they keep the US tied into knots.

How do they do it?
 
2012-04-17 7:05:10 PM  
Or he's not actually a commander at all, just some guy who got fingered by a neighbor and now plans to get his cash and rely on the local justice system to free him. Ha. Ha ha.
 
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