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(Quad Cities Online)   The oldest man in the United States, Shelby Harris, celebrates his 111th birthday today. Hopefully the nursing home doesn't throw him a surprise party   ( qconline.com) divider line
    More: Sappy, Shelby Harris, United States, oldest man, collard greens, 7th Street, Rhode Island, Quad Cities, coal mines  
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1873 clicks; posted to Main » on 31 Mar 2012 at 2:54 AM (6 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

23 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
2012-03-31 12:36:03 AM  
Now he can change his name to Bilbo Baggins.
2012-03-31 01:12:08 AM  
Eleventy-one years is fa--

Indolent: Now he can change his name to Bilbo Baggins.


2012-03-31 02:55:46 AM  
Hopefully the nursing home hasn't heard of second breakfast.
2012-03-31 02:57:50 AM  
It'd be the candles I'd be worrying abt
2012-03-31 03:01:28 AM  
And keep that one cat away from him. You know the one.

The one who knows when death is near (new window).
2012-03-31 03:02:57 AM  
uh..I flew 12 missions during WWII.
uh..uh.. my son got polio.
That biatch Betty cheats at Bingo.
uh...uh...uh... Get me out of this nursing home.

Things a 111 year old says?
2012-03-31 03:07:33 AM  
worked in a coal mine and still made it past 100. Must be a Cyborg.
2012-03-31 03:08:43 AM  
I hope it's not a pickle surprise party Link (new window)
2012-03-31 03:13:50 AM  
♫An old man, turns one-eleven
He won the lottery
and then went to heaven♫

/and isn't it ironic♫
2012-03-31 03:15:26 AM  
photos.qconline.comView Full Size

Where's the runner up? In the ground, that's where. Hail to the king, baby!
2012-03-31 03:17:20 AM  
That dude looks pretty damn good for 111. Hell, he looks better than most people 20 years younger.
2012-03-31 03:28:32 AM  
Mr. Harris' day will begin with a birthday lunch of his favorite foods - catfish and collard greens, hush puppies, coleslaw, corn-on-the-cob and sweet potato pie.

Hmm, sounds like an "Everything the doctors say is wrong"

"bucket list" ... he throws out the first pitch

Ha, I bet the YouTube video goes viral!
2012-03-31 03:41:59 AM  
I have an old people joke.

An elderly man at the end of his life is in bed upstairs. He smells the cookies his wife is baking, and his mouth waters. "Wouldn't it be wonderful," he thinks, "to have one last cookie. I always loved my wife's cookies."

With agonizing slowness, he makes his way down the stairs to the kitchen, where he sees a tray of cookies cooling on the table. Too weak to walk, he crawls to the table and reaches his hand up to the tabletop, and he finds a warm, moist cookie. As his fingers close around it, his wife smacks his hand with a spatula.

"But...but...why?" cries the old man.

His wife says, "They're for the funeral."
2012-03-31 04:04:52 AM  
Jesus, who the hell wants to live to 111. I mean, that's a reasonable age that your grandchildren start dying.
2012-03-31 04:13:30 AM  
That dude is a badass. Look as good at his age I will not.

/should i be so lucky
//shooting for 120
2012-03-31 04:29:07 AM  
Introduce your kids to the iPaddle instead.

i565.photobucket.comView Full Size
2012-03-31 04:32:04 AM  

Serpoltas: Introduce your kids to the iPaddle instead.

[i565.photobucket.com image 376x448]

Oops. Wrong thread.
2012-03-31 08:28:30 AM  
Bilbo's Speech (new window)
2012-03-31 08:47:09 AM  

user68: That dude looks pretty damn good for 111. Hell, he looks better than most people 20 years younger.

Doesn't look a day over 80.

Somewhat resembles Bill cosby.
2012-03-31 09:24:51 AM  
This is totally cool! One hundred and eleven years old! WOW!

And wanting to marry again! Sounds like he's still going strong! ;-D

To bad he doesn't live in Detroit cause we could introduce him to Texana (see below).

Wanted to share this below - cause I just found out and figured folks viewing this thread are inclined to be "Pro" Centenarians (Looking up how to spell that I found out once ya pass 110 years old you are a Super Centenarian - Who knew?) so maybe wouldn't mind.

(So . . .not an actual, FULL "threadjack" but merely a brief "thread detour" as it pertains to another happy news report re: an oldster!)

Don't know if any of ya have been following the Texana Hollis story (she turns 102 in May) but if ya have . . .

Just announced:

She gets to move back in her home THIS Wednesday!!!!!!

This first link below states her stuff was put on lawn:
ACTUALLY all her belongings were THROWN into 3 construction dumpsters
THEN the wheelchair-bound 101 year old great grandmother was carried outside - chair and all -
and sat NEXT to the dumpsters.
Did I mention it was raining?
Then they drove off and left her there sobbing in the rain.
She was rushed to the hospital by ambulance a few hours later.

Link (new window)

Link (new window)

Link (new window)


/doing my happy dance ) (tappa-tappa-tappa (new window))
2012-03-31 09:59:35 AM  
They better get him a shelby 'stang.
2012-03-31 10:35:30 AM  
I've got a few bottles of the Old Winyard left.
2012-03-31 10:56:43 AM  
Get that man the Mother of all Blowjobs.
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