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(Alobama)   Is it Tuesday again already? Fine, then, let's have another set of Republican primaries. Alabama and Mississippi close at 8pm ET, insomniacs can stick around for Hawaii (closes at 2am ET)   ( alabamavotes.gov) divider line
    More: Silly, Republican, Alabama, Mississippi, ballot access, insomniacs, primaries, Hawaii, elections in 2012  
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1081 clicks; posted to Politics » on 13 Mar 2012 at 8:24 PM (6 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2012-03-13 11:16:35 PM  
4 votes:
i.imgur.comView Full Size
2012-03-14 01:45:49 AM  
3 votes:

TheWhoppah: SnakeLee: TheWhoppah: Texas will be majority Hispanic by 2028 which really makes me wonder why the GOP crazy train is so hell-bent on bad mouthing immigrants. If Texas goes blue the GOP is permafarked.

Which one of their "policies" makes you think they consider a year into the future at most?

Good question. Do you suppose they actually BELIEVE that we are living at the end of time? That would go a long way to explain the fact that Republicans don't seem to care about long-term investments in the nation's future.

sonic.netView Full Size
2012-03-13 11:12:30 PM  
3 votes:
bagnewsnotes.comView Full Size

I did not think Pluto was still a planet.
2012-03-13 11:02:58 PM  
3 votes:

apoptotic: In a few weeks there's going to be a charity boxing match up here where a Liberal House rep fights a Conservative Senator. I think the GOP should wrap up this race the same way.

I want to cockpunch Paul Ryan.

with my car
2012-03-13 08:44:57 PM  
3 votes:
dtdstudios.comView Full Size
2012-03-13 02:35:17 PM  
3 votes:

Dusk-You-n-Me: If Republican men had their way, Romney would be toast. It's Republican women who are keeping him afloat, and it's an enormous gender gap. Given that Southern men make up the cultural heart and soul of modern Republicanism, the fact that the GOP is about to nominate a candidate despised by Southern men should be a gigantic flashing red sign that something is out of kilter for them. Link (new window)

Don't forget rich republicans. He KILLS among those making high six-figures.

Honestly, I'm amazed I'm saying it, but I think all of the Republicans voting in the primaries are actually getting a candidate that represents their interests.

Rich Republicans vote Romney. Because he will definitely take care of them.
Fundamentalist Republicans vote Santorum. Because he will definitely take care of them.
And Republicans that stand around in a seething pile of hatred vote Gingrich. Because HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE. (insert Kefka picture here)
2012-03-14 01:18:29 AM  
2 votes:

Omahawg: In march 2008, McCain had captured the GOP nomination while we got Reverend Wright all over the screen shouting "goddamn America" this and that and Tony Rezko on trial.

A lot can happen between now and November here's a photograph of Obama in Portland, Or from May 2008 with 75,000 people watching

[upload.wikimedia.org image 640x480]

Does anyone think 75,000 people will turn out in May to listen to Mittens the magic mormon? anyone? anyone? bueller?

No. Republicans are not idiots.
2012-03-13 11:18:27 PM  
2 votes:
i.chzbgr.comView Full Size
2012-03-13 11:08:37 PM  
2 votes:
Hey I think RMoney could get the black vote because he could use the same pitch he did for NASCAR and football teams. "I have lots of friends who own black people."
2012-03-13 11:05:00 PM  
2 votes:

Corvus: 2wolves: Alabama still has 11 counties showing less than 1% reporting.

Is this normal?

It's Alabama they have 2 guys who can do math in the whole state.

It used to be three but I moved back to TN.
2012-03-13 10:29:46 PM  
2 votes:
i42.tinypic.comView Full Size
2012-03-13 10:26:44 PM  
2 votes:
myfoodlooksfunny.files.wordpress.comView Full Size

Looks like a big push for Santorum with the Samoas.
2012-03-13 10:18:00 PM  
2 votes:

dletter: NBC just called Alabama.

Did they get through okay on the party line?
2012-03-13 10:02:02 PM  
2 votes:
i.imgur.comView Full Size
2012-03-13 09:37:22 PM  
2 votes:
How is the religious right voting?
hondaatvforums.netView Full Size

I hear they follow the fundamentalist's dogma.
2012-03-13 06:54:01 PM  
2 votes:
wwe.comView Full Size

I love the Samoans, but how do the Girl Scouts fit them into those tiny boxes. I'll bet it has something to do with lesbians.
westchesterbuzz.comView Full Size

Mmmmmm, Samoans
x39.xanga.comView Full Size
x39.xanga.comView Full Size
x39.xanga.comView Full Size
2012-03-13 04:11:02 PM  
2 votes:
Up tonight...

Alabama: 47 delegates, open primary [Results by county]
- 21 delegates (3 per district) will be bound on a "winner take most" basis. Candidate with more than 50% of the vote gets all 3. If nobody reaches 50%, the leading candidate gets 2 and the second-place candidate gets 1 (assuming leading candidate has over 20% of the vote; if not, the delegates are split proportionally.)
- 26 delegates assigned based on statewide results, also "winner take most". If a candidate gets over 50% of the vote, he gets them all. If no candidate has 50% or higher, the delegates are allocated proportionally among the candidates with over 20% of the vote.

Latest poll: PPP March 12 Romney 31%, Gingrich 30%, Santorum 29%, Paul 8%. I have not broken this poll substantially but I did notice that 60% of respondents said they didn't believe in evolution. OKAY
538: Political Geography: Alabama
County/Congressional District map

Mississippi: 37 delegates, open primary [Results by county]
- 12 delegates will be bound to candidates based on the results in 4 congressional districts. If a candidate gets over 50% of the vote, they are allocated all 3 delegates. If no candidate reaches 50%, the vote is proportionally allocated between the candidates who receive more than 15% of the vote.
- 25 delegates will be bound based on the statewide vote. If a candidate receives over 50%, they get all 25. Otherwise, the vote is split proportionally between those who receive more than 15%.

Latest poll: PPP March 12 Gringrich 33%, Romney 31%, Santorum 27%, Paul 7%.
538: Political Geography: Mississippi
County/Congressional District map

Hawaii: 17 delegates, closed caucus [Results]
Delegates will be allocated proportionally to delegates based on votes for slates of candidates. Closed caucus but people can register as Republicans day-of and vote. Delegates are bound through the first ballot.

Nobody polls Hawaii. However, it was +16 Romney in October.

American Samoa
American Samoa will choose 6 delegates. They will apparently "reflect the presidential preference of the Caucus/Convention participants." They will hold a straw poll, maybe with actual straws since their caucus is in a bar. Then someone will drunk dial the mainland to tell us they all voted for Romney.
2012-03-13 02:57:18 PM  
2 votes:
i1089.photobucket.comView Full Size

2012-03-13 02:49:46 PM  
2 votes:
I want Gingrich to win Alabama and Mississippi so that this farktarded contest can go on just that much longer. As a liberal, this shiat is entertaining in a way I didn't know a political primary contest could be entertaining. It's like watching three drunk chicks try and slap fight each other in the parking lot of the most reputable tattoo parlor you can find in the back of your city/town's 3rd best newspaper.
2012-03-13 11:22:59 AM  
2 votes:
threadbombing.comView Full Size

2012-03-14 05:13:38 AM  
1 vote:

bobbette: Well, you'd better tell him that. He's been doing this faux-self-deprecation media tour for the past few months complete with all kinds of "I just don't think I'm likely to be asked, ha ha, I'm not saying no though" interviews. He's also been the most high profile political figure Mitt Romney's put on the campaign trail for him.

He knows it. He has to cede power every time he leaves the state to give a GOP fundraising speech (or for any other reason).

I don't think he's running for VP. I think he's running for the GOP presidential nod in 2016.
2012-03-14 03:29:39 AM  
1 vote:

The Bestest: you people are getting old results

What do you mean "you people"?
2012-03-14 02:28:51 AM  
1 vote:

TheWhoppah: choosing Carly Fiorina and running on a "The Business of America is Business" platform.

Fiorina is considered pro-business for the same reasons that many prostitutes are considered independent contractors.
2012-03-14 01:32:59 AM  
1 vote:
that noodle is upset about something
2012-03-14 12:32:02 AM  
1 vote:

RminusQ: bobbette: paj: Alabama looks to have (re?)elected Roy Moore - Link (new window) as their Supreme Court Chief Justice. Yes, the same guy who refused a federal order to remove a 10 commandments monument from the courthouse and then was himself removed from office.

That's... I have no words

What is this, Saudi Alabama?

Yeah... the Southeast is full of assholes. I'm perfectly OK with cutting off my "states visited" count somewhere around 44, with Alabama, Mississippi, Texas, the Dakotas, and Alaska states I feel no urge to ever actually visit.
Hawaii I'll want to get to.

From what I hear though, you definitely need to get out to Michigan. I have good word that the trees are just the right height.
2012-03-14 12:14:07 AM  
1 vote:

Clowns are a Ten: Krymson Tyde: Somacandra: Holy crap. I leave for an hour dip in the hotel pool and farking Santorum takes MS too? Damn. Gingrich is right---Romney just cannot close the deal with the base. They'll fall in line--they have to, but Mitt is taking a serious pounding here at the hands of the Dominionist Theocrat. This was fun back in 2008 with Hillary and Barack. Now this is just a farce. Romney pulled out in 2008 like the good guy to help McCain. It must really piss him off that Adulterous Doughboy and Dominionist Theocrat don't know when to quit.

Jesusland will not vote for a Mormon.

Reap the shiatpile you've sewn republicans. Reap it and farking choke on it you bastards.

Don't be so sure. farking Virginia voted for a black guy, remember.

People down here don't consider that "The South"

Yes, it really is, but the south includes NC, SC, GA, FL, AL, MS, TN, AK, LA, and TX. MO might be accepted since they joined the SEC.
2012-03-13 11:53:09 PM  
1 vote:
Holy crap. I leave for an hour dip in the hotel pool and farking Santorum takes MS too? Damn. Gingrich is right---Romney just cannot close the deal with the base. They'll fall in line--they have to, but Mitt is taking a serious pounding here at the hands of the Dominionist Theocrat. This was fun back in 2008 with Hillary and Barack. Now this is just a farce. Romney pulled out in 2008 like the good guy to help McCain. It must really piss him off that Adulterous Doughboy and Dominionist Theocrat don't know when to quit.
2012-03-13 11:26:41 PM  
1 vote:
There are four counties unreported in Mississippi...

2012-03-13 11:24:04 PM  
1 vote:

RminusQ: I don't think there's a breakdown-by-CD anywhere, but here's what the at-large delegates look like:

Alabama: Santorum 10, Gingrich 8, Romney 8; 21 district delegates unknown
Mississippi: Santorum 9, Gingrich 8, Romney 8; 12 district delegates unknown

Really sensational victory for ol' Ricky Bobby tonight. He may close TWO PERCENT of his delegate deficit to Mittens.

Optics baby. It's ALL about the optics now. Tomorrow will be the absolute worse day of press Romney's ever seen. I'm sure THAT will fire up his supporters. The only way the day could go worse for him is if Gingrich drops and supports Frothy. At that point I expect Romney just to hold a presser and say, "Look, I'm just going to give every American that votes for me in the primary a thousand bucks. Who's with me?"
2012-03-13 11:19:49 PM  
1 vote:

Clowns are a Ten: Nate Silver showing some good news for Romney tonight:

"There's still Hawaii"

... Lulz.

I didn't know they held a primary in that part of Kenya.
2012-03-13 11:16:58 PM  
1 vote:
i1089.photobucket.comView Full Size

2012-03-13 11:16:26 PM  
1 vote:
Go the fark away Newt. Drop out tomorrow and support Frothy!

Let's kick the GOP Panic Level to 11.
2012-03-13 11:15:34 PM  
1 vote:
i4m.comView Full Size

What would Mormon Jesus do?
2012-03-13 11:12:50 PM  
1 vote:
Let's be honest. The only reason Romney wants to be president is to help in his mission to *kill Sarah Connor*!
2012-03-13 11:11:30 PM  
1 vote:
One of the CNN pundits just said Newt "has always had a...not very close personal relationship with reality". I guess that pundit won't be getting his share of $2.50/gal gas on the moon.
2012-03-13 11:09:25 PM  
1 vote:

bulok: Guess you hit 30 and you get all mature and shiat, you start expecting some level of maturity in a politics thread.

Hi, welcome to the Internet. Would you like your bag of dicks now or later?
2012-03-13 11:07:25 PM  
1 vote:
My god they are coming to Illinois next, I hope the dead come out and vote like they always do.
2012-03-13 11:07:02 PM  
1 vote:

apoptotic: Newt: "Everything Obama knows is wrong".


Could Newt be a Weird Al fan?

2012-03-13 11:06:10 PM  
1 vote:

Corvus: 2wolves: Alabama still has 11 counties showing less than 1% reporting.

Is this normal?

It's Alabama they have 2 guys who can do math in the whole state.

And they're both in Huntsville at the NASA facility.
2012-03-13 11:04:19 PM  
1 vote:

2wolves: Alabama still has 11 counties showing less than 1% reporting.

Is this normal?

It's Alabama they have 2 guys who can do math in the whole state.
2012-03-13 11:03:32 PM  
1 vote:
Newt Gingrich is what stupid people think a smart person sounds like.

Can't be repeated enough.
2012-03-13 10:57:00 PM  
1 vote:
cdnimg.visualizeus.comView Full Size
2012-03-13 10:48:22 PM  
1 vote:
And what about Santorum in Texas?
img.photobucket.comView Full Size

All hat. No chattel?
thirtysomethingsingledotcom.files.wordpress.comView Full Size
2012-03-13 10:41:09 PM  
1 vote:


27.media.tumblr.comView Full Size

What the fark do you want? I'm tryin' to get drunk and stoned here and you keep shouting my name and it makes my brain get all messed up inside.
2012-03-13 10:36:23 PM  
1 vote:

Earguy: Red necktie = power
Blue tie = trust
Yellow tie = grounded
Pink tie = ????

Little pink sock?
2012-03-13 10:27:38 PM  
1 vote:

Carth: Santorum wins both states in the South. Enough to knock out Gingrich?

I hope not. I was looking forward to hearing his plan for lowering gas prices down to $1.40 in his first month in office.
2012-03-13 10:20:33 PM  
1 vote:
Guess poor Mitt ate all those grits for nothing. It's all the trees' fault, if they were the right height he would have won.
2012-03-13 10:10:59 PM  
1 vote:
"There's nothing more uncomfortable for Rick Santorum than to be in a three-way with two men."
"Two very handsome men."
"No, one handsome man."
"Which one?"
"Mitt Romney's the handsome one."
"Taste. I'm no expert"

Lulz on MSNBC
2012-03-13 10:10:44 PM  
1 vote:
Meanwhile, in Alabama ...
i166.photobucket.comView Full Size
2012-03-13 09:54:19 PM  
1 vote:
surging from behind

occultview.comView Full Size
2012-03-13 09:40:11 PM  
1 vote:

2wolves: Omahawg: newt let me down, man

the silver haired tortoise is no more


i want to watch them tear each other apart like rabid chickens on a red rock meth binge. my gut told me newtie would play better down south than santorum. I was wrong. so it goes.
2012-03-13 09:19:11 PM  
1 vote:
Mississippi don't need no fancy vote counting.
They've got "Hanging Chad" The world's oldest stripper.
soundportraits.orgView Full Size
2012-03-13 08:45:12 PM  
1 vote:
Sarah Palin challenged Obama to a debate today?

Uh...okay. I challenge Mitt Romney to a debate. If Mitt doesn't accept, then I HAVE WON THE DEBATE.
2012-03-13 08:25:21 PM  
1 vote:

Delay: It seems to me that Mr. Romney desperately needs to go fire somebody.

It's the only form of pleasure that his religion allows
2012-03-13 05:42:48 PM  
1 vote:

bobbette: Nobody polls Hawaii.

Because it's not a part of the US! It's in KENYA!

2012-03-13 04:15:39 PM  
1 vote:
come on Newt get those states so the comedy can continue
2012-03-13 03:24:37 PM  
1 vote:

Infernalist: Gingrich has a very rich sponsor in his pocket. He'll continue his run until it's numerically impossible for him to win, delegate-wise. And then he'll suicide-bomb the convention and try to run it off the rails.

I am firmly of the opinion that if the GOP decides they want Newt to stop shiatting in the punch bowl at their Romney Nomination Party, they're going to have to kill him. I'm not kidding. They'll have to shoot him dead. He's like the Terminator of modern politics. He absolutely will not stop.
2012-03-13 03:02:14 PM  
1 vote:
Just got done voting.

2012-03-13 02:59:32 PM  
1 vote:
This is the most amazing piece of video I think I've ever seen. These people vote. Mississippi Conservatives Talk About Their Hatred Of Obama (new window)

Favorite bits:

1. The guy who says the President should be American, not Muslim, as if Muslims can't be Americans
2. The toothless dude who says he gets nothing from the government, but he's on foodstamps
3. The guy who calls Obama a "half-breed"
4. The guy who says that Obamacare is retarded and pointless, but then says a lot of people in Mississippi need health care
5. All of it, actually
2012-03-13 02:19:07 PM  
1 vote:
I voted for Newty. Just to keep the GOP clusterfark going as long as possible.
2012-03-13 01:07:03 PM  
1 vote:
25.media.tumblr.comView Full Size
2012-03-13 12:01:34 PM  
1 vote:
i172.photobucket.comView Full Size
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