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(Alobama)   Is it Tuesday again already? Fine, then, let's have another set of Republican primaries. Alabama and Mississippi close at 8pm ET, insomniacs can stick around for Hawaii (closes at 2am ET)   ( alabamavotes.gov) divider line
    More: Silly, Republican, Alabama, Mississippi, ballot access, insomniacs, primaries, Hawaii, elections in 2012  
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1081 clicks; posted to Politics » on 13 Mar 2012 at 8:24 PM (6 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2012-03-13 11:16:35 PM  
2 votes:
i.imgur.comView Full Size
2012-03-13 11:03:32 PM  
2 votes:
Newt Gingrich is what stupid people think a smart person sounds like.

Can't be repeated enough.
2012-03-13 04:11:02 PM  
2 votes:
Up tonight...

Alabama: 47 delegates, open primary [Results by county]
- 21 delegates (3 per district) will be bound on a "winner take most" basis. Candidate with more than 50% of the vote gets all 3. If nobody reaches 50%, the leading candidate gets 2 and the second-place candidate gets 1 (assuming leading candidate has over 20% of the vote; if not, the delegates are split proportionally.)
- 26 delegates assigned based on statewide results, also "winner take most". If a candidate gets over 50% of the vote, he gets them all. If no candidate has 50% or higher, the delegates are allocated proportionally among the candidates with over 20% of the vote.

Latest poll: PPP March 12 Romney 31%, Gingrich 30%, Santorum 29%, Paul 8%. I have not broken this poll substantially but I did notice that 60% of respondents said they didn't believe in evolution. OKAY
538: Political Geography: Alabama
County/Congressional District map

Mississippi: 37 delegates, open primary [Results by county]
- 12 delegates will be bound to candidates based on the results in 4 congressional districts. If a candidate gets over 50% of the vote, they are allocated all 3 delegates. If no candidate reaches 50%, the vote is proportionally allocated between the candidates who receive more than 15% of the vote.
- 25 delegates will be bound based on the statewide vote. If a candidate receives over 50%, they get all 25. Otherwise, the vote is split proportionally between those who receive more than 15%.

Latest poll: PPP March 12 Gringrich 33%, Romney 31%, Santorum 27%, Paul 7%.
538: Political Geography: Mississippi
County/Congressional District map

Hawaii: 17 delegates, closed caucus [Results]
Delegates will be allocated proportionally to delegates based on votes for slates of candidates. Closed caucus but people can register as Republicans day-of and vote. Delegates are bound through the first ballot.

Nobody polls Hawaii. However, it was +16 Romney in October.

American Samoa
American Samoa will choose 6 delegates. They will apparently "reflect the presidential preference of the Caucus/Convention participants." They will hold a straw poll, maybe with actual straws since their caucus is in a bar. Then someone will drunk dial the mainland to tell us they all voted for Romney.
2012-03-14 03:39:41 AM  
1 vote:


"We did it without million of dollars in TV ads ..."

"We are aiming to raise 1 million dollars in the next 24 hours...We must if we are going to counter the new wave of negative attacks from the Romney campaign."

Good job, flip-flopping your message in the same speech.
2012-03-14 03:39:10 AM  
1 vote:

Omahawg: Mitt isn't like the rest of us...his hair is perfect.

He tried a pina colada once, as a wayward teenager.
2012-03-14 02:17:18 AM  
1 vote:

[www.sonic.net image 640x517]

For those in pattern-legislation states and don't like it:
i540.photobucket.comView Full Size
2012-03-14 01:31:18 AM  
1 vote:

Omahawg: i don't even know who the fark the decemberists are

/old and unhip

Seemed like no one heard of them until 75,000 showed up to one of their concerts, that Obama decided to hijack for his own photo opportunity. Nothing is too low for that guy. WTF is his problem?

md.tgpsitecentral.comView Full Size
2012-03-14 01:18:49 AM  
1 vote:

rynthetyn: I went to college in northwest Georgia. I went through so much culture shock because it's a completely different world than I was used to, and that even though I lived in the part of Florida that's part of the South for 5 years in elementary/middle school. Found out after I graduated that I'd been buying gas from a KKK grand dragon for 3 years. I had this black friend who didn't have a car so I'd give him rides places, and in the back of my mind I always worried about what might happen if my car broke down in certain areas that still don't cotton to the idea of black men associating with white women.

That's probably worse than my own experiences with coal country (WV/NE Kentucky). Not so much racial issues as much as insular ones; your survival at odd hours in the backcountry would depend on a favorable perception of you.
2012-03-14 12:30:47 AM  
1 vote:

PScooter63: Krymson Tyde: Reap the shiatpile you've sewn republicans. Reap it and farking choke on it you bastards.


/Alabamian, checking in
//Independent, voted for Romney today to try to hold the crazies at bay

You voted for Romney to try to keep the crazies at bay.

You defeated your own cause there.
2012-03-14 12:01:59 AM  
1 vote:

Somacandra: Holy crap. I leave for an hour dip in the hotel pool and farking Santorum takes MS too? Damn. Gingrich is right---Romney just cannot close the deal with the base. They'll fall in line--they have to, but Mitt is taking a serious pounding here at the hands of the Dominionist Theocrat. This was fun back in 2008 with Hillary and Barack. Now this is just a farce. Romney pulled out in 2008 like the good guy to help McCain. It must really piss him off that Adulterous Doughboy and Dominionist Theocrat don't know when to quit.

Jesusland will not vote for a Mormon.

Reap the shiatpile you've sewn republicans. Reap it and farking choke on it you bastards.
2012-03-13 11:36:31 PM  
1 vote:

vygramul: Fireproof: So Progressive insurance is giving you a discount to let you spy on them? No thanks.

I think you meant the other way around.

Uh, yeah. Time for me to go to bed.

/Though I WOULD totally take a discount for the privilege of being allowed to spy on Flo
2012-03-13 11:26:38 PM  
1 vote:

dahmers love zombie: Gingrich is talking about an unemployed dude with cancer, who took $2.50 out of his savings account to donate to him.

If Mitt had a clue, you know what he'd do? He'd find that man and write him a blank check to cover his medical expenses. Then trash Newt of being an epic narcissist.
2012-03-13 11:24:04 PM  
1 vote:

RminusQ: I don't think there's a breakdown-by-CD anywhere, but here's what the at-large delegates look like:

Alabama: Santorum 10, Gingrich 8, Romney 8; 21 district delegates unknown
Mississippi: Santorum 9, Gingrich 8, Romney 8; 12 district delegates unknown

Really sensational victory for ol' Ricky Bobby tonight. He may close TWO PERCENT of his delegate deficit to Mittens.

Optics baby. It's ALL about the optics now. Tomorrow will be the absolute worse day of press Romney's ever seen. I'm sure THAT will fire up his supporters. The only way the day could go worse for him is if Gingrich drops and supports Frothy. At that point I expect Romney just to hold a presser and say, "Look, I'm just going to give every American that votes for me in the primary a thousand bucks. Who's with me?"
2012-03-13 11:16:26 PM  
1 vote:
Go the fark away Newt. Drop out tomorrow and support Frothy!

Let's kick the GOP Panic Level to 11.
2012-03-13 11:09:25 PM  
1 vote:

bulok: Guess you hit 30 and you get all mature and shiat, you start expecting some level of maturity in a politics thread.

Hi, welcome to the Internet. Would you like your bag of dicks now or later?
2012-03-13 11:08:37 PM  
1 vote:
Hey I think RMoney could get the black vote because he could use the same pitch he did for NASCAR and football teams. "I have lots of friends who own black people."
2012-03-13 11:05:29 PM  
1 vote:
affordablehousinginstitute.orgView Full Size

The Aztecs invented the vacation! Men and women are the same sex! Our forefathers took drugs! Your brain is not the boss!
2012-03-13 10:57:05 PM  
1 vote:
Okay, time for The Daily Show. Night all.
2012-03-13 10:42:08 PM  
1 vote:

Sabyen91: Huhrynthetyn: Is the Santorum daughter standing behind him the one who was holding the creepy doll in the infamous picture?

Sure looks like it.

I wouldn't mind creating more Santorum with her.
2012-03-13 10:18:26 PM  
1 vote:
Let's count the ways Romney's campaign farked themselves tonight:

1. Opting to compete at all. He should have stayed out and let Santorum and Gingrich beat the shiat out of each other.

2. Predicting he'd win tonight.

3. The amount of cash his campaign or Super PAC spent.

4. The high degree of visibility he pursued in these two states over the past week.

These led to the following:
1. Possible 3rd place finish in both contests.

2. Choosing to avoid a speech of any sort or to be available to the press with the horrible excuse he has to travel.

The optics simply couldn't be worse. Will he still get the nomination? Probably. But this guy has been running for President for 7 farking years, and but his campaign is still running like it's amateur hour.
2012-03-13 10:13:52 PM  
1 vote:

phritz: Meanwhile, in Alabama ...
[i166.photobucket.com image 450x289]

That is absolutely disgusting. I don't know what it is, but it's disgusting.
2012-03-13 10:09:27 PM  
1 vote:
If Newt drops out, his supporters will go to Santorum. If it's a Romney/Santorum horserace all the way to the convention, with neither person getting to 1149......it's going to be glorious, my friends. Glorious.
2012-03-13 10:08:16 PM  
1 vote:
Anyone else frustrated by how the media portrays these election-night spectacles as horse-races? Candidates can't "catch up" or "make up ground" because all the votes have already been cast. We're just waiting for the numbers to be reported.
2012-03-13 09:44:08 PM  
1 vote:

rynthetyn: What baffles me is that the exit polls show that 50% of working women in Alabama voted for Santorum. Why?

God said.

2012-03-13 08:25:21 PM  
1 vote:

Delay: It seems to me that Mr. Romney desperately needs to go fire somebody.

It's the only form of pleasure that his religion allows
2012-03-13 07:51:10 PM  
1 vote:

themindiswatching: Come on GOP, give us the farking brokered convention. For the lulz.

I would never stop laughing if this happened. It would quite literally be the greatest piece of political theater ever played out, even better than the great Hanging Chad Debate '00.
2012-03-13 07:38:56 PM  
1 vote:
Come on GOP, give us the farking brokered convention. For the lulz.
2012-03-13 03:24:37 PM  
1 vote:

Infernalist: Gingrich has a very rich sponsor in his pocket. He'll continue his run until it's numerically impossible for him to win, delegate-wise. And then he'll suicide-bomb the convention and try to run it off the rails.

I am firmly of the opinion that if the GOP decides they want Newt to stop shiatting in the punch bowl at their Romney Nomination Party, they're going to have to kill him. I'm not kidding. They'll have to shoot him dead. He's like the Terminator of modern politics. He absolutely will not stop.
2012-03-13 03:02:14 PM  
1 vote:
Just got done voting.

2012-03-13 02:59:32 PM  
1 vote:
This is the most amazing piece of video I think I've ever seen. These people vote. Mississippi Conservatives Talk About Their Hatred Of Obama (new window)

Favorite bits:

1. The guy who says the President should be American, not Muslim, as if Muslims can't be Americans
2. The toothless dude who says he gets nothing from the government, but he's on foodstamps
3. The guy who calls Obama a "half-breed"
4. The guy who says that Obamacare is retarded and pointless, but then says a lot of people in Mississippi need health care
5. All of it, actually
2012-03-13 02:35:17 PM  
1 vote:

Dusk-You-n-Me: If Republican men had their way, Romney would be toast. It's Republican women who are keeping him afloat, and it's an enormous gender gap. Given that Southern men make up the cultural heart and soul of modern Republicanism, the fact that the GOP is about to nominate a candidate despised by Southern men should be a gigantic flashing red sign that something is out of kilter for them. Link (new window)

Don't forget rich republicans. He KILLS among those making high six-figures.

Honestly, I'm amazed I'm saying it, but I think all of the Republicans voting in the primaries are actually getting a candidate that represents their interests.

Rich Republicans vote Romney. Because he will definitely take care of them.
Fundamentalist Republicans vote Santorum. Because he will definitely take care of them.
And Republicans that stand around in a seething pile of hatred vote Gingrich. Because HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE. (insert Kefka picture here)
2012-03-13 02:26:00 PM  
1 vote:
Please, for the love of all that is good and pure, please just quit. Everyone just drop out of the race.

These Republican candidates are damaging this country, wounding it with deep cuts and divides that will take generations to heal, exploiting long standing divides between rural and urban voters, and stoking the fires of hatred beyond all rational belief. If the South still hurting over losing the Civil War is any indication, these wounds may never heal.
2012-03-13 02:25:19 PM  
1 vote:
If Republican men had their way, Romney would be toast. It's Republican women who are keeping him afloat, and it's an enormous gender gap. Given that Southern men make up the cultural heart and soul of modern Republicanism, the fact that the GOP is about to nominate a candidate despised by Southern men should be a gigantic flashing red sign that something is out of kilter for them. Link (new window)
2012-03-13 02:19:07 PM  
1 vote:
I voted for Newty. Just to keep the GOP clusterfark going as long as possible.
2012-03-13 11:21:48 AM  
1 vote:
30.media.tumblr.comView Full Size
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