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(Slate)   Today's Fark-ready headline: "The long, sordid history of bestiality in America." Apparently, it used to be blamed on the animals   ( slate.com) divider line
    More: Sick, history of bestiality  
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13139 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Jan 2012 at 1:59 PM (6 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-01-09 11:39:32 AM  
When will people learn that neigh means neigh?
 
2012-01-09 11:42:31 AM  
Link (nsfw?)
 
vpb [TotalFark]
2012-01-09 11:55:25 AM  
...unfortunately for Spencer, the sow happened to give birth to a deformed fetus ("a prodigious monster") that resembled George...

geekologie.comView Full Size



Ewe!
 
2012-01-09 11:58:09 AM  

DarnoKonrad: Link (nsfw?)


Excellent, I love that one. It's hilarious!
 
2012-01-09 11:59:30 AM  
So basically some dude said, "Your honor, the biatch looked at me like she wanted it, so I gave it to her."
 
2012-01-09 12:00:12 PM  
It used to be blamed on the animals. Those sexy, sexy animals.
 
2012-01-09 12:19:15 PM  
One sheep and you're branded for life
 
2012-01-09 12:43:04 PM  
Everyone sing along...

%Dirty deeds, done with sheep%

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fR6N-O6A1ss for the uninitiated.
 
2012-01-09 12:56:10 PM  
Parrots can give consent, as can sign-language gorillas. It's in the Bible.
 
2012-01-09 12:56:57 PM  
During a visit to the UK, I turned on the BBC and they showed a one hour documentary about Americans who have sex with (and fall in love with) barnyard animals. I was horrified not by these freaks of nature, but by the fact that millions of Brits had seen this program and I would now be among them with my American accent and my American passport and my American predilection for banging goats. To their credit, the British people were gracious and only rarely did I hear a "baaa!" as I left a store or hotel lobby.
 
2012-01-09 12:57:23 PM  
If those animals wouldn't give you that come-hither look, and pose so provocatively, they'd be lots easier to leave alone.
 
2012-01-09 01:17:29 PM  

CitizenTed: During a visit to the UK, I turned on the BBC and they showed a one hour documentary about Americans who have sex with (and fall in love with) barnyard animals. I was horrified not by these freaks of nature, but by the fact that millions of Brits had seen this program and I would now be among them with my American accent and my American passport and my American predilection for banging goats. To their credit, the British people were gracious and only rarely did I hear a "baaa!" as I left a store or hotel lobby.


i saw this too, and it actually made me really sad. especially the part about the guy whose colon was pierced by a stallion and instead of taking him into the hospital, they kicked him out of the car at the er curb and left him for dead.
it's a really good documentary. i wish i could remember the name of it...
 
2012-01-09 01:35:04 PM  
"The long, sordid history of bestiality in America."

ecx.images-amazon.comView Full Size
 
2012-01-09 01:47:42 PM  
This is one reason cats used to be considered the Devil's handmaidens: you couldn't fark one. Then declawing was invented.
 
2012-01-09 02:00:11 PM  
Where do you think the phrase 'doe-eyed' came from?
 
2012-01-09 02:03:24 PM  

Entheogenic: It used to be blamed on the animals. Those sexy, sexy animals.


Anthopomorpics dun help either.

/stupid sexy Tony the Tiger
 
2012-01-09 02:04:29 PM  
You sick puppy.
 
2012-01-09 02:11:12 PM  
Well duh! Just look at how they don't dress.
 
2012-01-09 02:11:19 PM  
The other was that there was a lot of intelligence behind this façade of meat; piglets were playing jubilantly with each other that spring day, and bloated sows, reposed in the warm sunlight, were eyeing me with as much curiosity as I was eyeing them

Interacting with pigs up close really made me question whether I could continue eating them. It was something about the expressive looks and apparent intelligence behind their eyes that likened them to pets.

Fortunately, I remembered how much I love BBQ and my smoker and got the hell out of there before I made any rash decisions but I still feel like a hypocrite sometimes.
 
2012-01-09 02:11:47 PM  
Well, you see how they're dressed. You're telling me they don't want it?
 
2012-01-09 02:14:14 PM  
back dat ass up?
 
2012-01-09 02:15:12 PM  
Give "The Tiger Lillies" song: 'Sheep' a listen.
 
2012-01-09 02:17:09 PM  
freedomsphoenix.comView Full Size


Approves.
 
2012-01-09 02:20:13 PM  
In Colonial New England, officials were terrified of the possibility of monsters born of human-pig intercourse.

Although it looks terrifying, we now understand the Gingrich poses a threat to no one.
 
2012-01-09 02:21:20 PM  
The long, sordid history of bestiality in America?

I blame it on the animals. The oh so sexy animals.

The ewes really want it. Some days when I change their water or give them hay, the girls will squat & pee (a real sexy move among sheep) then rub up against me. One really friendly ewe will paw at me. I scratch 'em behind the ear and tell them what good girls they are, but that's not what they want...

/ Can we talk about the long, sordid history of bestiality in Scotland, Wales, Australia and New Zealand next?
 
2012-01-09 02:25:05 PM  
Dumb animals. They knew the risks. Don't they know how hard we humans have it in this world?
 
2012-01-09 02:25:23 PM  

Bagelox-99: This is one reason cats used to be considered the Devil's handmaidens: you couldn't fark one. Then declawing was invented.


Then that makes hedgehogs the epitome of evil.
 
2012-01-09 02:25:54 PM  
"In my defense officer, the horse was asking for it. Ay, she was wearing a tight saddle!"
 
2012-01-09 02:29:15 PM  
My home town.... (new window)
 
2012-01-09 02:29:31 PM  
i.imgur.comView Full Size

The biatch Was Asking For It

 
2012-01-09 02:29:39 PM  
This subject requires more research. I'll be in my lab.
 
2012-01-09 02:29:49 PM  
that goat was cuttin eyes at me and i was comin off a hard breakup.
 
2012-01-09 02:29:57 PM  
media.monstersandcritics.comView Full Size


"Only one way to tell if a woman loves you..."
 
2012-01-09 02:30:54 PM  

elev8meL8r: In Colonial New England, officials were terrified of the possibility of monsters born of human-pig intercourse.

Although it looks terrifying, we now understand the Gingrich poses a threat to no one.


He's from Georgia. They didn't have such strict standards down there.
 
2012-01-09 02:31:07 PM  
img511.imageshack.usView Full Size


Magua understands that the white man has a dog for his woman.
 
2012-01-09 02:31:47 PM  

vpb: Ewe


Dude. What the fark is that?

FTA: "Can an animal be smart enough to give sexual consent to a human partner? Even if it were smart enough, would it have means by which to express its desire?"

Have you ever had your legged humped by a dog? What the fark does that mean? It's hungry?

I'm not saying I'd have sex with a dog... but animals can indeed express a desire. I prefer my sex to be with human types. Preferably women.
 
2012-01-09 02:32:21 PM  
abine.comView Full Size
 
2012-01-09 02:33:54 PM  

DarnoKonrad: Link (nsfw?)


Seen it 30 times, still love it. The chicks are sooooooooooooooo sexy.
 
2012-01-09 02:38:24 PM  
Cal: We went to Tijuana, Mexico, you know? And we thought it would be fun, you know, to go to a show. Everybody says you gotta check out one of these shows. And... it's a woman farkin' a horse. We get there and we think it's gonna be awesome and... it is not as cool as it sounds like it's gonna be. It's kinda gross.
Andy Stitzer: Yeah.
Cal: You think "A woman farkin' a horse" and you get there and... it's a woman farking a horse.
Andy Stitzer: Yeah.
Cal: It was really giving it to her. And you know what? To be honest I just felt bad for her, we all just felt bad for her.
 
2012-01-09 02:39:14 PM  
When I lived in LA, I knew a former newscaster who said her makeup lady came into work one day all depressed, because she'd caught her fiancé cheating on her with a farm animal. She'd suspected he was cheating and followed him late one night, and he just kept driving until he was way out in a rural area. Then he went into a farm. It turned out it was a brothel, but with animals. There was a guy who would assign people to pens. The newscaster was most upset about the disease factor and had to work on making sure the girl split up with the guy.
My PETA friend, when I told her this story, was most upset about the animal abuse.
/cb
//although I don't actually know what cb means.
///There was a great scene in Patrick O'Brian's Desolation Island about a seaman and a goat.
 
2012-01-09 02:40:33 PM  
Is it considered bestiality to sleep with Snoop Dogg?

Interesting that only the men were getting executed for buggering animals. Nowadays if a woman does it she gets her own website.

American double standards.
 
2012-01-09 02:43:27 PM  

DarnoKonrad: Link (nsfw?)


Came here to post that video.

/shakes tiny fist
 
2012-01-09 02:45:04 PM  
If you're going to fark an animal, make it a horse. That way you'll always have a ride home.
 
2012-01-09 02:47:43 PM  
I'm washing my hands of this, mister.
 
2012-01-09 02:47:56 PM  
If I were a chicken, I'd rather you not fark me. But if it's that or spending a short life constantly sick, crouched in a hot cage isolated from my species and nature itself, before being sent to the slaughterhouse?

In that case, by all means, fark me right in my sexy, dirty, cloaca.

Now, I'm not even close to being a vegetarian, nor do I like poultry poon. I just think it's weird that we consider farking an animal worse than killing and eating it. Especially because we have such a double standard when it comes to our own species. Humans, it's generally okay to fark*, you just can't kill and eat them.
_____________________________________
*offer not valid in Iran or the Deep South
 
2012-01-09 02:50:59 PM  

LandOfChocolate: The other was that there was a lot of intelligence behind this façade of meat; piglets were playing jubilantly with each other that spring day, and bloated sows, reposed in the warm sunlight, were eyeing me with as much curiosity as I was eyeing them

Interacting with pigs up close really made me question whether I could continue eating them. It was something about the expressive looks and apparent intelligence behind their eyes that likened them to pets.

Fortunately, I remembered how much I love BBQ and my smoker and got the hell out of there before I made any rash decisions but I still feel like a hypocrite sometimes.


I hate pigs even more than coyotes.

Wild ones come and dig up my yard on a regular basis. We've tried trapping them, but they're too smart, so I've resorted to lying in wait and shooting them. I've killed over a dozen, and still they keep coming.

Maybe they're not so smart.
 
2012-01-09 02:52:06 PM  
I'll be in my Lab.
 
2012-01-09 02:52:09 PM  
Those Puritans weren't so pure after all.
 
2012-01-09 02:53:28 PM  

DarnoKonrad: Link (nsfw?)


I have the weirdest boner right now...
 
2012-01-09 02:55:03 PM  
There's this new cowpoke in a town out in the old West. No whorehouse, no single women anywhere, and he's starting to get desperate.

So he chats up the bartender and asks what he should do. The barkeep says "Well, just go out to the sheep pasture at night, come up behind one of them, and do what comes naturally. That's what we all do".

The cowpoke is disgusted and shocked, but after another couple of weeks, he can't take it anymore.

So he finds a nice ewe and starts humping away. The barkeep walks by and sees this, and then starts pointing and whimpering with a terrified look on his face. The cowpoke yells out "But you said this is what everyone does, right?"

"Yeah, b-b-b-but that's Black B-B-Bart's girl!"
 
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