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(Fox News)   Well I'm just SHOCKED that no one is buying the Lindsay edition of Playboy   ( foxnews.com) divider line
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12967 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 18 Dec 2011 at 3:40 AM (6 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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Barakku
2011-12-18 01:23:27 PM  

that bosnian sniper: Barakku: After you've seen Nazi S&M Furry Bestiality Christian Polygamy Orgy porn, softcore Lindsay faring Lohan just isn't going to cut it.

What if it's Lindsay Lohan strapped to a St. Andrews cross, blowing a dog while being jackhammered from behind by a KKK member?


Well, I guess I'd click a link. Still wouldn't buy anything though. There'd have to be some Anime cosplayers and a 2 foot vibrator involved to make it worth paying anything.
 
MoronLessOff
2011-12-18 01:25:09 PM  

Barakku: that bosnian sniper: Barakku: After you've seen Nazi S&M Furry Bestiality Christian Polygamy Orgy porn, softcore Lindsay faring Lohan just isn't going to cut it.

What if it's Lindsay Lohan strapped to a St. Andrews cross, blowing a dog while being jackhammered from behind by a KKK member?

Well, I guess I'd click a link. Still wouldn't buy anything though. There'd have to be some Anime cosplayers and a 2 foot vibrator involved to make it worth paying anything.


If I weren't at work, boy, would I have the link for you!
 
Ass_Master_Flash
2011-12-18 01:25:39 PM  

Ordell: Like that PMOY pointed out, Lindsay was looking flabby. She wasn't worthy of being in Playboy in her current state, period. Forget not showing vag, she showed gut, which was a bigger sin.


You left out her sharp knees.
 
lisarenee3505
2011-12-18 01:27:41 PM  
I think this might be the final nail in this chick's career coffin. I mean really, when folks don't even want to see you naked anymore, your time in the spotlight is over. I expect that the next time we hear about LiLo, it will be a story about her dying from an over-dose.

/hopefully that'll be before the end of the year
//got $50 riding on that chick in the office dead-pool
 
fisker [TotalFark]
2011-12-18 01:29:14 PM  

envirovore: Because when I think of porn, I think Playboy.
 
fisker [TotalFark]
2011-12-18 01:33:37 PM  

Alphax: I went to one of the leaked pic sites. Most boring nude pics EVAR.


Google?
 
endtimethirtyfour
2011-12-18 01:42:40 PM  

contrapunctus: It was a good run, but Playboy just needs to pack it in already for Christ's sake.

The average kid has probably seen every subgenre of porn before the age of 14 now thanks to the Internet. Nudie pictures are "meh" at best, and embarrassing at worst because everyone has been so thoroughly jaded by the free depravity available.

//When I was your age, we had to go rummaging through the woods to find porn.

///I know every male born before 1985 has had that experience.


...and under the bleachers at the high school football field...

when I lived in NY maybe 15 years ago I found two cardboard boxes of old Playboys--1960s to 70s--under an overpass in Queens. A lot of them were pretty water damaged, but I found (and saved) two: one with a Nabokov interview and one with a Dali interview. I'm sure I totally didn't look creepy while flipping through the boxes.
 
ifarkthereforiam
2011-12-18 01:42:50 PM  
LL is no MM, and that is for sure.
 
theurge14
2011-12-18 01:45:16 PM  

Fark_Guy_Rob: Eh - people can say whatever they like but I am 100% convinced Playboy lost a small fortune because of the leaked photos.

I know a lot of people who wanted to see the pictures; myself included. Mostly out of curiosity. I would have paid a few bucks to see her and then go, 'lol - what happened to her?'.

But they were pirated and put online. So myself and countless others decided to check them out first and decided not to buy the magazine. And because of the pirated pics, Playboy had to push up the release date meaning less time to hype it up.

Piracy *does* mean lost income. I know, I know, this is the internet and nobody wants to hear it.....


Maybe it's time Playboy figured out a new business model?

/free market, etc, nobody wants to heart it
 
SilentStrider
2011-12-18 01:55:49 PM  

404 page not found: RIP Lohan


You're not funny.
 
Msol [TotalFark] [BareFark]
2011-12-18 02:00:43 PM  

theurge14:

/free market, etc, nobody wants to heart it


How is it a free market if Playboy doesn't have enforced property rights?
 
relcec
2011-12-18 02:08:19 PM  

PizzaJedi81: FMLYHM: contrapunctus:
//When I was your age, we had to go rummaging through the woods to find porn.

///I know every male born before 1985 has had that experience.

Dude, that's how I found all my porn. Usually by the creek, or in a field behind some apartments....

Mine were in a shed on our property...said shed had a metric shiat-ton (No, seriously.) of crap I had to climb over to get to it. Upside, though, is that I got to see Denise Crosby's tits.


tommy from florida? is that you?
 
Leashlaw
2011-12-18 02:09:48 PM  

contrapunctus: It was a good run, but Playboy just needs to pack it in already for Christ's sake.

The average kid has probably seen every subgenre of porn before the age of 14 now thanks to the Internet. Nudie pictures are "meh" at best, and embarrassing at worst because everyone has been so thoroughly jaded by the free depravity available.

//When I was your age, we had to go rummaging through the woods to find porn.

///I know every male born before 1985 has had that experience.


I grew up with a bunch of Latch-Key Kids in N. Florida in a rotting apartment complex surrounded by swamp and woods. While out exploring one day we found an entire 55 gallon trashcan FULL of porn mags. We built our fort nearby.
 
puddleonfire
2011-12-18 02:18:05 PM  
No vag?
I don't even wanna bother.

She should've gone with Hustler so we can see the hacked photos before the issue is released.
Now THAT would be a SPREAD.
 
MoronLessOff
2011-12-18 02:19:15 PM  

puddleonfire: SPREAD.


I see what you did there.
 
noit
2011-12-18 02:33:41 PM  
I've seen drawings of Lindsay Lohan naked before. That's all this is.
 
Shrugging Atlas
2011-12-18 02:36:03 PM  

Captain Steroid: This spread came eight years and couple dozen drug arrests too late. :-(


And we're done here....
 
theurge14
2011-12-18 02:39:12 PM  

Msol: theurge14:

/free market, etc, nobody wants to heart it

How is it a free market if Playboy doesn't have enforced property rights?


Legal costs vs profit margin.
 
ThisNameSux
2011-12-18 02:40:25 PM  

Lsherm: NO VAGINA = NO SALE


Playboy has never shown a vagina in the history of the magazine.
 
Ontos
2011-12-18 03:00:04 PM  

ThisNameSux: Lsherm: NO VAGINA = NO SALE

Playboy has never shown a vagina in the history of the magazine.


Besides... I have a feeling hers generally looks like a bulldog eating mayonnaise.
 
BadJazz
2011-12-18 03:04:29 PM  

contrapunctus: It was a good run, but Playboy just needs to pack it in already for Christ's sake.

The average kid has probably seen every subgenre of porn before the age of 14 now thanks to the Internet. Nudie pictures are "meh" at best, and embarrassing at worst because everyone has been so thoroughly jaded by the free depravity available.

//When I was your age, we had to go rummaging through the woods to find porn.

///I know every male born before 1985 has had that experience.


Totally agree. And to the bolded point: My cousins and I used to stomp all over Mingus Park looking for discarded/hidden porno. I knew we couldn't have been the only ones doing this.

/"Heath, over here!"
 
The Voice of Doom
2011-12-18 03:13:37 PM  
Meanwhile inBritain the Daily Fail:
Lindsay Lohan is a sellout! Nude Playboy photo spread is 'flying off the shelves'

Well, actually, it's not from the Fail, they got it from TMZ:
Lindsay Lohan Playboy Sales Are On Fire!


This feels like dividing by zero - how can Fox and the Fail report exact opposites and still both be wrong?
 
Mildot
2011-12-18 03:18:06 PM  

MoronLessOff: puddleonfire: SPREAD.

I see what you did there.


Actually, if you're refering to the Playboy Picts, there wasn't any SPREAD to see, and that's the basic problem. For that kind of money, we all should have gotten a peek at her glory hole...
 
Ordell
2011-12-18 03:43:15 PM  

DrSieb: Interesting. TMZ has a report saying the exact opposite - the Lohan edition is FLYING off the shelves...

Meh...

Link (new window)


We've had a lot of Santa Ana winds here in L.A.
 
Death_Poot
2011-12-18 03:49:33 PM  
"we all should have gotten a peek at her glory hole..."

dailycomedy.comView Full Size


There, now, head to your bunk
 
The Larch
2011-12-18 04:18:42 PM  
Has anyone mentioned that they were just really aesthetically unappealing photographs? They look like they were taken by a bored photographer in a strip-mall "glamour shots" photo booth in Topeka, Kansas. And then they were edited by a community college dropout with a pirated copy of Photoshop. It's the same type of boring half-assed lazy crap that shows up on Page 3 of an English tabloid.

I don't think that Playboy really every had "glory days" in the way that anyone remembers. Playboy is a lot like Saturday Night live, in the sense that it might have once been better than it is now, but it was never as good as people remember it be. But damn, it's pretty clear that anyone with any type of artistic ability fled from that magazine long ago. They've gone from a mediocre mens magazine to just an embarrassingly bad copy of a lads magazine.

Putting Marge Simpson on the cover showed the world that there will never again be a reason for an adult male to buy a copy of Playboy. These lazy and uninspired photos of Lindsay just seal the deal.
 
sgleason818 [TotalFark]
2011-12-18 05:06:48 PM  
This may finish off Hugh Hefner, too. And tragically before his time.
 
jonohull
2011-12-18 05:11:25 PM  

shower_in_my_socks: Pr1nc3ss: You are no Marilyn Monroe, Lindsay.


Marilyn Monroe:

Some Like It Hot
The Seven Year Itch
How to Marry a Millionaire
Gentlemen Prefer Blondes
All About Eve
The Asphalt Jungle
The Misfits


Lohan: Mean Girls and a Herbie movie


Dear Lindsay: You have to be an icon FIRST, then fall from grace. It's not tragic if you're just a child star gone bad -- showbiz is full of those.


Don't forget the Fritz Lang film "Clash by Night" with Barbara Stanwyck. That was a great movie.
 
farkeruk
2011-12-18 05:18:01 PM  

The Larch: I don't think that Playboy really every had "glory days" in the way that anyone remembers. Playboy is a lot like Saturday Night live, in the sense that it might have once been better than it is now, but it was never as good as people remember it be. But damn, it's pretty clear that anyone with any type of artistic ability fled from that magazine long ago. They've gone from a mediocre mens magazine to just an embarrassingly bad copy of a lads magazine.


Playboy still makes lovely pictorials.

My guess is that Lohan had a whole load of stuff written into the contract about "doing Marilyn" or something.

The problem with Lohan is that she isn't an especially beautiful woman. She was once pretty and wholesome. But a lot of pretty girls don't grow into beautiful women. It's why a lot of child stars don't make it. Being pretty and perky isn't what people want from an adult actress. The ones that do often had lots of acting talent (like Natalie Portman, Christina Ricci and Jodie Foster).
 
furiousidiot
2011-12-18 05:26:33 PM  
It looked like a minimalist clown mannequin mask over a Sims 2 body outline.
I want obliquely lit pores in ultra-high resolution so I can pretend she's with me on my fold-out bed dammit.
 
The Larch
2011-12-18 05:40:17 PM  

farkeruk: My guess is that Lohan had a whole load of stuff written into the contract about "doing Marilyn" or something.


Do you think it was in her contract that she should just show up for a half-dozen quick snaps in front of a red curtain, and call it a day?

I'll take your word for it that there's talent left at Playboy. But you sure as heck don't see any of it in those ugly photos.
 
that bosnian sniper
2011-12-18 06:00:58 PM  

farkeruk: The ones that do often had lots of acting talent (like Natalie Portman, Christina Ricci and Jodie Foster).


Unfortunately, Christina Ricci had most of her acting talent surgically removed a few years back.
 
Hugh Jassole
2011-12-18 06:08:34 PM  
I found my first porno mag down by the river. (Not in a van.) It was pretty cool, but I couldn't understand why the pages were all stuck together and smelled like Clorox bleach. Thinking about it know, I sure wish they had Purel back in the 70's.
 
jeffdo1
2011-12-18 06:34:54 PM  
?

http://www.cnn.com/2011/12/18/showbiz/lohan-playboy-sales/index.html? h pt=hp_t3
 
Kurmudgeon
2011-12-18 06:45:42 PM  

The Larch: I don't think that Playboy really every had "glory days" in the way that anyone remembers.


Not so, Playboy used to go find the cutest girl they could find to get her to pose. That idea worked.
Now they go and take pics of various C and D-list celebs in the hope to create buzz that will drive sales.
All the rest is silicone clothing mannikins. Bring back the old Playboy standards and only do photo shoots of hotties and cuties, leave the celebs and excessive peroxide for Hollywood.
 
Nihilist's Guide to Reticent Entropy
2011-12-18 06:53:44 PM  

that bosnian sniper: farkeruk: The ones that do often had lots of acting talent (like Natalie Portman, Christina Ricci and Jodie Foster).

Unfortunately, Christina Ricci had most of her acting talent surgically removed a few years back.


The poor girl . . . She looks like a bobblehead now.
 
saturn badger [TotalFark]
2011-12-18 07:07:27 PM  

contrapunctus: It was a good run, but Playboy just needs to pack it in already for Christ's sake.

The average kid has probably seen every subgenre of porn before the age of 14 now thanks to the Internet. Nudie pictures are "meh" at best, and embarrassing at worst because everyone has been so thoroughly jaded by the free depravity available.

//When I was your age, we had to go rummaging through the woods to find porn.

///I know every male born before 1985 has had that experience.


The best thing in Playboy has always been the interviews. (new window)

//liked the pics too
 
lisarenee3505
2011-12-18 07:13:59 PM  

Nihilist's Guide to Reticent Entropy: that bosnian sniper: farkeruk: The ones that do often had lots of acting talent (like Natalie Portman, Christina Ricci and Jodie Foster).

Unfortunately, Christina Ricci had most of her acting talent surgically removed a few years back.

The poor girl . . . She looks like a bobblehead now.


================================================

When did she ever NOT look like a bobblehead?

/chick's forehead goes back farther than my father's
//and he's bald
 
omnibus_necanda_sunt [TotalFark]
2011-12-18 07:22:43 PM  

Hugh Jassole: I found my first porno mag down by the river. (Not in a van.) It was pretty cool, but I couldn't understand why the pages were all stuck together and smelled like Clorox bleach. Thinking about it know, I sure wish they had Purel back in the 70's.


HAHAHAHAHA
 
Deagan Herumor
2011-12-18 07:40:52 PM  
A hot redhead? Lets completely ruin her by making her a bleached blonde cliche!
 
Braindeath
2011-12-18 08:43:50 PM  
I like sluts, but I am of the opinion that if I tried to fingerbang her, I'd have to get my fingers amputated to avoid gangrene, so I'm not really interested in nude pictures of her. Not even for free.
 
Ratbert42
2011-12-18 09:08:44 PM  
Why should I when for a couple bucks more I can have the real thing.
 
The Larch
2011-12-18 09:12:35 PM  

saturn badger: The best thing in Playboy has always been the interviews. (new window)


Yep, and they have both Chris Wallace and Nick Offerman in this month's issue! Forgive me if I'm not wowed by interviews with an obsequious little toady apologizing for Rupert Murdoch and some guy who looks a little bit like Zack Galifinakis.

I don't know why Playboy annoys me so much. Maybe it's because they are the perfect example of an American company that built a valuable brand as a side effect of delivering a great product, but then at some point started neglecting the product in favor of the brand. They were important once, but now they're just a dry-rotted shell with nothing but a bunny logo some reality TV shows.
 
howlinmadmurphy
2011-12-18 09:20:09 PM  

FMLYHM: contrapunctus:
//When I was your age, we had to go rummaging through the woods to find porn.

///I know every male born before 1985 has had that experience.

Dude, that's how I found all my porn. Usually by the creek, or in a field behind some apartments....


That is so crazy... in my youth I found porn in cleared out spots under trees by a creek behind my apartments or in the corn field next door. I thought it was teenagers but now I'm thinking porn fairies do exist...
 
Gordon Bennett [TotalFark]
2011-12-18 09:29:33 PM  

puddleonfire: No vag?
I don't even wanna bother.

She should've gone with Hustler so we can see the hacked photos before the issue is released.
Now THAT would be a SPREAD.


30.media.tumblr.comView Full Size
 
AeAe
2011-12-18 10:13:41 PM  

Gordon Bennett: puddleonfire: No vag?
I don't even wanna bother.

She should've gone with Hustler so we can see the hacked photos before the issue is released.
Now THAT would be a SPREAD.

[30.media.tumblr.com image 500x375]


I'm partial to honey baked ham myself:

assets.matchbin.comView Full Size
 
HopScotchNSoda
2011-12-18 10:15:25 PM  

The Larch: I don't know why Playboy annoys me so much. Maybe it's because they are the perfect example of an American company that built a valuable brand as a side effect of delivering a great product, but then at some point started neglecting the product in favor of the brand. They were important once, but now they're just a dry-rotted shell with nothing but a bunny logo some reality TV shows.



We have another thread going on about WordPerfect. They did the same damn thing. WP 5.0 and 5.1 were the gold standard of DOS word processors - on a completely different plane from Word, WordStar, MultiMate, Enable, Wang, et al.. But then they dragged feet on Windows, resting on their laurels. By the time they realised that Windows was here to stay and AmiPro was kicking their ass (and even Word was gradually catching up), they rushed to slap a buggy Windows front-end onto their DOS programme, calling it 5.2 for Windows. The damage was irreversible; their customers were gone. Only law firms continued to buy it and even they soon migrated to Word since that's what their clients used.
 
SirTanon
2011-12-18 10:19:44 PM  
The one SUPPOSED un-airbrushed photo of Lindsay's Playboy shoot..

ll-media.tmz.comView Full Size


Personally.. I THINK I prefer the airbrushed ones.. ugh.
 
contrapunctus
2011-12-18 10:25:25 PM  

howlinmadmurphy: FMLYHM: contrapunctus:
//When I was your age, we had to go rummaging through the woods to find porn.

///I know every male born before 1985 has had that experience.

Dude, that's how I found all my porn. Usually by the creek, or in a field behind some apartments....

That is so crazy... in my youth I found porn in cleared out spots under trees by a creek behind my apartments or in the corn field next door. I thought it was teenagers but now I'm thinking porn fairies do exist...


Porno Claus is real. Every season, he flies in his magical Torino powered by Lowenbrau to deposit copies of "Oui" and "Juggs" at half finished construction sites and forest clearings.
 
Rickj
2011-12-18 10:49:32 PM  

contrapunctus: howlinmadmurphy: FMLYHM: contrapunctus:
//When I was your age, we had to go rummaging through the woods to find porn.

///I know every male born before 1985 has had that experience.

Dude, that's how I found all my porn. Usually by the creek, or in a field behind some apartments....

That is so crazy... in my youth I found porn in cleared out spots under trees by a creek behind my apartments or in the corn field next door. I thought it was teenagers but now I'm thinking porn fairies do exist...

Porno Claus is real. Every season, he flies in his magical Torino powered by Lowenbrau to deposit copies of "Oui" and "Juggs" at half finished construction sites and forest clearings.



I loved Porno Claus! One time, when i was a kid, he deposited a whole bag of porno in a trash can in the park behind my house. My older brothers brought it home and hid it in my toy box (I was around 6 years old). All I can remember was that I was mad because I couldn't use my toy box. If only I had known what a treasure chest it was. A couple days later, one of my brothers moved the stash and hid it under the carpet in his closet. We found it years later after he went in the army and my parents decided to recarpet the bedrooms.
 
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