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(Fark)   Fark's 2011 HEADLINE OF THE YEAR contest   ( divider line
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7581 clicks; posted to Main » and Publicity » on 16 Dec 2011 at 11:05 AM (11 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook

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View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

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2011-12-16 10:55:47 AM  
Welcome to the Headline of the Year contest for 2011! This is for all of the main page headlines for December 2010 through the end of November 2011. The new start/stop dates were decided on this last year so that the awesome December submitters wouldn't get robbed, like in years past. That means that one of the headlines in this year's contest was also in last year's contest, but this is about good headlines and not everybody saw that one last year.

This is fun for us to vote on, but the credit goes to the many submitters that are the only reason we can have this contest every year. You are some funny, funny people. Well done.

Okay, enough with the talk. Without further ado, this is your 2011 Headline of the Year contest:
2011-12-16 10:56:45 AM  
Five wildly popular car modifications that must be stopped. SPOILER ALERT
2011-12-16 10:57:12 AM  
Woman gives birth going up in an elevator. This would never have happened if she had gone down
2011-12-16 10:57:32 AM  
British terror alert status upgraded to "What's all this, then?"
2011-12-16 10:57:52 AM  
Toddler's finger severed in freak escalator accident. Mother says they will take steps to make sure it doesn't happen again
2011-12-16 10:58:19 AM  
Baby Jesus stolen from church nativity. Maybe they should try nailing him down
2011-12-16 10:58:47 AM  
Bin Laden's mansion worth only 25 percent of what he paid for it, meaning he'll be underwater for a long time
2011-12-16 10:59:08 AM  
Inventor of the teleprompter dies. President Obama said to be at a "loss for words"
2011-12-16 10:59:27 AM  
Woman hit and killed by monster truck. Funeral will be held on Sunday Sunday SUNDAY
2011-12-16 10:59:51 AM  
Teen tries to feed shark, succeeds
2011-12-16 11:00:15 AM  
Three people shot near Target. They probably should have stood farther away
2011-12-16 11:00:58 AM  
Four guys rob Five Guys; turns out three of the four guys worked at Five Guys and now each need one guy to convince twelve other guys not to lock them up with 500 other guys
2011-12-16 11:01:16 AM  
Cumming man shoots woman in face and neck
2011-12-16 11:01:34 AM  
Study: Child dies in portable pool every five days. Well, get him out of there for Christ's sake
2011-12-16 11:01:52 AM  
Dog helps rape victim. Ehh, I might have worded that wrong
2011-12-16 11:02:13 AM  
Chinese toddler who fell 10 stories wakes from coma and opens eyes, but not too much
2011-12-16 11:02:40 AM  
Tornado Watch issued for the Indianapolis region. Citizens are urged to seek shelter in Lucas Oil Stadium, where there is no chance of a touchdown
2011-12-16 11:03:54 AM  
Man wakes up with pants on fire, although police doubt his story
2011-12-16 11:04:12 AM  
Ghaddafi's son slipped into Niger last weekend, says he'll never go back
2011-12-16 11:04:28 AM  
I don't like vats full of caustic lye. You paper-makers can't deny: When a guy falls down through an unsupported place into concentrated base, he gets stung
2011-12-16 11:04:45 AM  
You now have the option of going to jail or church; either way you're going to be on your knees praying for Jesus to come already
2011-12-16 11:06:10 AM  
Many of you have thanked me for this contest, but the truth is that I need a lot of help in a lot of areas setting this up. Some people that have gone above and beyond by pitching in and helping with the earlier contests include:

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener, QueenofDenial, elvisaintdead, Burninate, mitchcumstein1, and also benrwebb, who created a nifty extractor for Headline of the Year candidates that I used for the last two subtab contests. There were also a few people (thinking of vegaswench among others) that offered help that I wasn't able to take them up on for whatever reason. Thanks to all of you for pitching in and even offering, even if I wasn't able to take you up on it due to my own time constraints.
2011-12-16 11:09:12 AM  
For those of you that missed the quarterfinals threads that led up to this, here they are:

Round 1

Round 2

Round 3

Round 4
2011-12-16 11:11:42 AM  

Headline of the Year candidate: Study: Child dies in portable pool every five days. Well, get him out of there for Christ's sake

I lol'd

/also, no votey on mobile?
2011-12-16 11:12:39 AM  
shark feeding still make me chuckle
2011-12-16 11:13:25 AM  
Not one of these is mine. It's a goddamn conspiracy.
m3h [OhFark]
2011-12-16 11:15:57 AM  
Sharks. Oh god I love sharks.
2011-12-16 11:15:58 AM  
aww man, my favorite didn't make the final...ahh, such is life...uh, Fark.
2011-12-16 11:16:12 AM  
Okay I like that last one quite a bit. I'd vote for it again.
2011-12-16 11:18:00 AM  

make me some tea: Okay I like that last one quite a bit. I'd vote for it again.

I did, too.
2011-12-16 11:18:05 AM  
Baby Jesus, Teen feeding shark and Chinese coma baby made me laugh heartily every time. Good work guys. You too, unfreakable
2011-12-16 11:18:08 AM  
And my vote for worst greenlit headline goes to

Christopher Hitchens, God.....God, Christopher Hitchens
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2011-12-16 11:23:16 AM  
On the text browser I use at work two consecutive headlines ran together to form "Fark's 2011 headline of the year contest arrested for sex with roommate's three-year-old."
2011-12-16 11:23:17 AM  
Some fine examples of what a Fark headline has the potential to be.

Sadly, none of them are mine.

Props to all the finalists!
2011-12-16 11:26:17 AM  
Liar liar
2011-12-16 11:27:21 AM  

insertdip: And my vote for worst greenlit headline goes to

Christopher Hitchens, God.....God, Christopher Hitchens

Get over it. It's funny. Hell, Hitchens would think it was funny.
2011-12-16 11:27:40 AM  
How long is voting open, unfreakable?
2011-12-16 11:28:18 AM  
I voted for all of them.

/i'm helping
2011-12-16 11:31:21 AM  
Big tip of the hat to Unfreakable and the many folks who helped him out. Great job all!
2011-12-16 11:33:46 AM  

Headline of the Year candidate: Cumming man shoots woman in face and neck

This one raised the bar quite a bit, imo. I had to go back and un-check a couple.
2011-12-16 11:33:55 AM  
"Nailing him down"

I welcome the fiery pits of hell for laughing so hard at that.
2011-12-16 11:38:02 AM  
The "monster truck" one is so stupid but it gets me every time and I laugh anyway.
2011-12-16 11:38:03 AM  
2011-12-16 11:39:20 AM  
laughing at every one of them
2011-12-16 11:39:26 AM  

GooberMcFly: How long is voting open, unfreakable?

I think that voting typically stays open for about three days, but I'm not sure.
2011-12-16 11:39:38 AM  
Damn, these are all really good. Hard to pick a winner.
2011-12-16 11:42:15 AM  
Some good, some meh
2011-12-16 11:43:13 AM  
These are only main page, right?

Headline of the Year was in Entertainment......
2011-12-16 11:45:11 AM  
i voted for almost all of them, good job!

(except yours, reader)
2011-12-16 11:45:49 AM  

zabbers: (except yours, reader)

I knew it!
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