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(Some Guy)   Why not mix it up this Christmas with a shotgun shell Mother Mary, a penguin Joseph, and a s'more baby Jesus?   (whyismarko.com) divider line
    More: Amusing, Leland Yee  
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5616 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Nov 2011 at 7:26 PM (9 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



39 Comments     (+0 »)
 
2011-11-30 7:28:24 PM  
First to say this isn't worth commenting on?
 
2011-11-30 7:29:04 PM  
Yes, and no total fark either!
 
2011-11-30 7:31:06 PM  
sorry subs, at least you got a greenlight right?
 
2011-11-30 7:32:05 PM  
Some of those are just...well, just.

Also, which one of you thought up the bacon&sausage nativity?
 
2011-11-30 7:38:39 PM  
back to actual nativity sets. this one is a craft kit, using marshmallows to make a nativity. yum


"Mmmmm. Sacrelicious."
profile.ak.fbcdn.netView Full Size
 
2011-11-30 7:42:05 PM  
they're better than the usual scenes

/would like to see a Terminator-themed nativity
 
2011-11-30 7:43:54 PM  
Did they just scan a Lillian Vernon catalog and call it an article?
 
2011-11-30 7:45:22 PM  
We always use mini-bar bottles of alcohol with Jack Daniels as the baby Jesus.
 
2011-11-30 7:49:24 PM  
I want the baby Jesus in a snowglobe one. THAT's AWESOME!
 
2011-11-30 7:51:09 PM  

The Angry Hand of God: Trolling Muslims?

[whyismarko.com image 640x502]


I'm thinking of recreating this for a new holiday tradition.

"Hey kids! Who wants to eat the Baby Jesus?!"
 
2011-11-30 7:51:41 PM  
i.imgur.comView Full Size
 
2011-11-30 7:55:01 PM  
Headline sounds like a Jeff Beck lyric.
 
2011-11-30 7:55:10 PM  
Meh, I had one last year that consisted of random animal figurines. Mary and Joseph were pigs, and the baby Jesus was a mama possum covered with babies. A parrot was the star on the roof. Had to hide it when my mother was around.

/Unitarian
 
2011-11-30 8:02:48 PM  

The Angry Hand of God: Trolling Muslims?

[whyismarko.com image 640x502]


Why would Muslims care? They believe Jesus was a prophet but not divine like Xtians do.
 
2011-11-30 8:03:15 PM  
YOU CAN'T CALL EVERY SINGLE ENTRY ON YOUR LIST THE WORST ONE
 
2011-11-30 8:11:24 PM  

usernameguy: YOU CAN'T CALL EVERY SINGLE ENTRY ON YOUR LIST THE WORST ONE


in the land where everyone's a winner, everyone is also a loser.
 
2011-11-30 8:11:47 PM  

usernameguy: YOU CAN'T CALL EVERY SINGLE ENTRY ON YOUR LIST THE WORST ONE


cdn1.hark.comView Full Size
 
2011-11-30 8:18:20 PM  
as an atheist I would just like to say

those owls were pretty awesome
 
2011-11-30 8:23:24 PM  
Graham cracker trifecta in play?
 
2011-11-30 8:30:16 PM  
Contains some of the same stuff, but also has some other scary shiat

Link (new window)
 
2011-11-30 8:31:17 PM  
Here's what I don't get:

Xtians get all upset about various sacreligious things, demand Nativity scenes in parks, etc etc.

Why are they okay with making marshmellow Nativity scenes and sausage Baby Jesuses that you are going to eat? Is it religious to bite off Jesus's head?
 
2011-11-30 8:39:10 PM  

KillAllHumans: as an atheist I would just like to say

those owls were pretty awesome


profile.ak.fbcdn.netView Full Size
 
2011-11-30 8:42:18 PM  
i dont know about a s'mote baby jesus, after getting the baby Jesus butt plug (new window very very NSFW) for x-miss a few years i go i may mix them up and that will leave a nasty taste in your mouth
 
2011-11-30 8:42:42 PM  
How about that shotgun wedding, Joseph?
 
2011-11-30 8:44:17 PM  

Gyrfalcon: Is it religious to bite off Jesus's head?


Actually, it might be. After all, the core ceremony of the Christian experience is symbolic cannibalism - and considering most Christians are Catholic, it isn't even symbolic, but considered cannibalism straight up. Saying a little "In Nomine Patris" over the wee bacon-Jesus is practically gauranteed to get you a sainthood - though saying "In NOMNOMNOMine Patris" might be a bit much.
 
2011-11-30 8:46:27 PM  

phalamir: Gyrfalcon: Is it religious to bite off Jesus's head?

Actually, it might be. After all, the core ceremony of the Christian experience is symbolic cannibalism - and considering most Christians are Catholic, it isn't even symbolic, but considered cannibalism straight up. Saying a little "In Nomine Patris" over the wee bacon-Jesus is practically gauranteed to get you a sainthood - though saying "In NOMNOMNOMine Patris" might be a bit much.


OK, that's funny.
 
2011-11-30 9:06:39 PM  

Shirley Ujest: I want the baby Jesus in a snowglobe one. THAT's AWESOME!


Link (new window)

Link (new window)

you're welcome!
 
2011-11-30 9:08:36 PM  
Atheist Jews gonna be Atheist Jews,,,
 
2011-11-30 9:23:15 PM  

kimwim: Shirley Ujest: I want the baby Jesus in a snowglobe one. THAT's AWESOME!

Link (new window)

Link (new window)

you're welcome!


I love you.
 
2011-11-30 9:50:17 PM  

Gyrfalcon: Here's what I don't get:

A) Xtians get all upset about various sacreligious things, demand Nativity scenes in parks, etc etc.

B) Why are they okay with making marshmellow Nativity scenes and sausage Baby Jesuses that you are going to eat? Is it religious to bite off Jesus's head?


The group that does A doesn't also do B.
 
2011-11-30 9:56:13 PM  
When my little brother was about 4 he made a tree ornament at his pre-school. It was half a walnut shell with a loop of yarn and some yellow fluff glued inside(a "manger"). On top of the fluff they glued a peanut(baby Jesus), and on top of the peanut they glued a tiny piece of paper(a blanket). He was understandably proud of his craft and it was really cute. My mom let him put it on the tree and being short he put it on the lower branches. A few days later, he noticed the ornament on the floor and the dog was eating the little peanut and he cried out "Sharky ate baby Jesus!" My mom and I really, really tried not to laugh while consoling him.

My mom still puts the empty walnut shell on the tree every year.
 
2011-11-30 10:04:39 PM  

Hankie Fest: Gyrfalcon: Here's what I don't get:

A) Xtians get all upset about various sacreligious things, demand Nativity scenes in parks, etc etc.

B) Why are they okay with making marshmellow Nativity scenes and sausage Baby Jesuses that you are going to eat? Is it religious to bite off Jesus's head?

The group that does A doesn't also do B.


You keep believing that.

/seriously, you don't think "shotgun shell nativity" would be displayed by the rednecks in group A?
 
2011-11-30 11:23:12 PM  
I made it half-way through the article! Whew....

$20 says nobody makes it past me.
 
2011-11-30 11:50:19 PM  

cardex: i dont know about a s'mote baby jesus, after getting the baby Jesus butt plug (new window very very NSFW) for x-miss a few years i go i may mix them up and that will leave a nasty taste in your mouth


That one's good, but the crucifix dildo seems even more sacrilegious to me...
 
2011-12-01 12:06:22 AM  

fusillade762: cardex: i dont know about a s'mote baby jesus, after getting the baby Jesus butt plug (new window very very NSFW) for x-miss a few years i go i may mix them up and that will leave a nasty taste in your mouth

That one's good, but the crucifix dildo seems even more sacrilegious to me...


If the bible for anal or oral?

Also, why? :P
 
2011-12-01 1:21:37 AM  

phalamir: though saying "In NOMNOMNOMine Patris" might be a bit much.


Farking perfect! I will laugh again every time I think about it.
 
2011-12-01 1:35:14 AM  

Jixa: When my little brother was about 4 he made a tree ornament at his pre-school. It was half a walnut shell with a loop of yarn and some yellow fluff glued inside(a "manger"). On top of the fluff they glued a peanut(baby Jesus), and on top of the peanut they glued a tiny piece of paper(a blanket). He was understandably proud of his craft and it was really cute. My mom let him put it on the tree and being short he put it on the lower branches. A few days later, he noticed the ornament on the floor and the dog was eating the little peanut and he cried out "Sharky ate baby Jesus!" My mom and I really, really tried not to laugh while consoling him.

My mom still puts the empty walnut shell on the tree every year.


That is both hysterically funny and sad. But mostly hysterically funny.
 
2011-12-01 5:26:40 AM  

Gyrfalcon: Here's what I don't get:

Xtians get all upset about various sacreligious things, demand Nativity scenes in parks, etc etc.

Why are they okay with making marshmellow Nativity scenes and sausage Baby Jesuses that you are going to eat? Is it religious to bite off Jesus's head?


Young Highway once asked his mother if he could make a dark chocolate cross-shaped cake for Easter and a marzipan Jesus for a topper. Can you believe she said no?
 
2011-12-01 8:59:46 AM  
These Nativity sets are fun and all, but what I really want is an Aliens-themed Nativity set. That would feature the Alien Queen and her egg sack in the manger, all of the human characters in cocoons with facehuggers on their heads and surrounded by empty eggs, and a group of Alien drones kneeling around the baby Jesus as a chestbuster tears its way out of his tiny body. That would be awesome!
 
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